Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Sliding backward today
I could use some words of wisdom here please. It's been 10 days since the boyfriend of 13 months ended things because he just doesn't want a relationship. And every morning the first thing I think of is that he made such a big mistake. I don't want him to be at the forefront of my mind. How (aside from time) can I just be grateful for the time we had and move forward without having these stupid dreams of him coming to his senses and wanting to reconcile?
I'm trying to keep busy (had a friend over last night, dinner with friends tonight also) but he creeps into my head nonstop.
DD1 01.19.07
DD2 11.17.08
DD2 11.17.08
Re: Sliding backward today
Pretend he doesn't exist. If a thought pops in your head, shove it out and forcefully think of something else. It's the best way I've found to deal with that. Over time, you'll find that you don't have to do it as often.
It's a sucky situation to be in...(((hugs)))
Sorry you are going through this - I understand because I am having similar issues, not with my XH but from my recent life-long friend turned relationship-thing.
It's hard because like you - I know where he is at is not a bad person, but someone with issues that neither I nor my DD need as a constant in that kind of role right now. Yes I want him to change to someone who can deal with the bad things of life and not get so down but I have yet to see change in anyone thus far from my experience. Right now I am giving him and me space even as planet-co-existers as I would like to at the very least salvage the friendship.
I agree that only time will heal, but being busy might patch things up for a bit. It also sucks because I realized from this what true feelings are and that there were more in this relationship than my "marriage." Sorry for the rant there. I guess writing things out helps too :
I need to update. I drove by his place late Saturday night after my dinner with friends around 11:30 to leave some of his stuff that I had on his front porch. Well I ran into him walking his dog. He invited me in so I could get my stuff and we ended up sitting and talking for 2 hours. He has felt he made a mistake and ended things abruptly because he was angry and I was asking him to make a decision. Long story short, we both want it to work and want to try again, this time working on communication and carving out dedicated time with each other - no other family/friends/kids around each week. I am going to email my old therapist to see if I can work with her on a monthly basis regarding my own communication and any other problems I can address on my own as well.
I'm still going to hang around here as I am in a starting over situation since my divorce is still so fresh and after 14 years with that person, it definitely feels like you are starting back from square one in many ways.
Thank you for all the support!
DD2 11.17.08