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Poll: Last name-maiden/married/hyphenated
I'm thinking of doing something that is probably ridiculous. I like my last name. I don't mind FI's last name. Together they sound laughable.
I want to keep my last name, but I kind of want FI's last name too. Saying my full name as hyphenated with FI's last name is kind of hilarious. There will be five L's in total. Every single one of my names will have an 'L' and all but my middle name will have an 'M'. It's a tongue twister to say it out loud (without his last name my name is a lot, but his name really adds some fun to it).
So, my mom suggested legally hyphenating my name, but in everyday life just using his last name. That way I'd still be holding on to my maiden name. DS has my maiden name which is part of it (he's almost an adult, so it isn't as important for us to have the same last name), but I also just like it and identify with it because I've had it for almost 43 yrs.
So, do I hyphenate legally and then go by FI's last name? Keep my last name and don't use FI's last name at all or do I just use FI's last name and drop my maiden name completely? There's no pressure from FI, although I know he was slightly disappointed that I originally didn't want to take his last name. He's okay with it either way.
[Poll]
Re: Poll: Last name-maiden/married/hyphenated
I voted SS because I think you should do what I did! lol
First Maiden HisLastName and got rid of my middle name.
This way I have both last names on my identification but I go by First HisLastName in my regular everyday life.
You don't ever miss your middle name that you were given when you were born? My middle name goes with my first name (as in, my parents specifically named me both names because they do together...hard to explain without saying my name).
Hmmmm...I like the idea, but not sure if I want to give up my middle name. I suppose I could have two middle names!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
If you're meh on hyphenating, go the middle name route.
When I was married I kept my middle name. It's my grandmother's name, who I never met. She died when my dad was 17. So I did first name, middle name, his last name.
If you don't want to get rid of anything, squish his last name in with your middle name
I voted SS because I did this as well. I don't miss my original middle name, but of course that's just me. It took me a long time to make a decision on this and I'm happy with the one I made, but dang. I don't ever want to do it again.
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Be warned, though, if you want two middle names they have to be under a certain length. I don't know the exact length, but I was told at the social security office that I couldn't do First, Middle, Maiden, Married because "Middle Maiden" was super long (16 letters). I had to choose on the spot which I wanted to keep, which was hard because my middle name is my mom's last name. I ended up doing First Maiden Married.
Also, are there any possible work/business reasons to keep your current last name?
Also, you can always keep your name as it is (changing it is a pain in the butt) but use his last name socially.
My name is 19 letters long now with my middle name, hyphenated it would be 28 letters, if I got rid of my current middle name and used my maiden name and his last name it would be 25 letters long and if I just went with his last name and kept my current middle name it would be 19 letters long.
That's a whole lot to write and would probably use 2 lines on my driver's license!
Wow, that would be a hard thing to decide on the spot.
I have no reason to keep my maiden name in regard to work or business.
If I keep my maiden name I know that people will still address me as Mrs. Hislastname because they either won't understand that I kept my name or they are old and think women should take their husband's last name. Heck, when we brought the dog to the vet I gave them my last name when they asked for my name and they lumped me under his last name anyway.
I did First-Name Maiden-Name Married-Name too. I felt no great bond with my middle name. TBH, I feel no great bond with my last name either since my grandpa changed it to skip out on child support.
Your name is a personal decision. It's not something Internet strangers can - or should - have a say in.
ETA: I will say that I'm still using my XH's name professionally because I have to. Thank God I decided to keep my maiden name as my middle name because it allowed me to at least hypenate. It's made me think long and hard about ever changing it again.
Occasionally BF gets referred to as Mr. Bowies. It results in a lot of hooting from me. He's a good sport about it.
I did this, too. My middle name was a generic Mary/Lynn sort of name so I don't miss it.
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Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
I haven't been able to vote because, as Bowies said, it's such a personal decision. You have to do what feels right to you.
I didn't change my name at all. I love my middle name, love the way my whole name flows together. Your counting of letters prompted me to count as well: 24 (not including spaces between names) and it all fits on one line on my driver's license as well as my passport.
I know...I've just been thinking about it and can't make a decision and thought I'd post a poll out of curiosity.
I'd never heard of anyone using their maiden name as their middle name, so now I've got that on my list of possibilities.
I voted for SS because I'm planning to do this: Interro Bang MrBangsLast, dropping my middle name and replacing it with my maiden. Then you can go by his last name if you want, but you aren't giving up your name OR turning your name into a tongue twister.
I have short names so number of letters wasn't an issue.
My First Maiden Married name is a grand total of 14 letters long. And I never use Maiden, so my First Married is 7 letters. At least it's easy to remember!
This is the traditional thing in the south as well.
fwiw Morty, I'm legally Firstname Middlename Maiden Last. I figure if it's an option for Neveah Youneek Tacobell Riley Smith, it might as well go with an adult name, too.
My name is totally, totally freaking horrible now in any case (pm me if you want deets, it's seriously terrible). Meh.
Why doesn't your FI just take your last name?
My H and I both kept our names. We would've both hyphenated ("MyLast-HisLast"), but my last is Slovak, 8 letters, and impossible to pronounce (as in, I'm 29 and literally no one has ever said it right on the first try), and his last is German, 10 letters, and atrocious (not quite as hard to pronounce, but very unusual and ugly...and yes, he agrees).
I tried to convince him to take my name, but then I realized that I wasn't going to take his name either, so why try to convince him to take mine? We kept our names and things are fine this way.
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Keep you own name.
If you must hyphenate with his being listed first and your 2nd.
I used to be anti-changing my name (and still might be), but I've been thinking more about it and am thinking I might like to at least incorporate it into my name somehow if it doesn't sound too silly.
If you prefer your name but would like to have his too why not hypehnate but go by your own name. (and have his only on paper)
That or just keep your own name.
When DH and I were getting married, I told him that I could either keep my name, or we could both hyphenate with the same last name. He picked the latter, and so far, despite being very unconventional, it's worked out great for us. I introduce myself using either my maiden or married name, but also don't usually correct any false assumptions of my last name either.
However, I'm pretty sure that his mother was horrified. She got over it. Now if only I could get her to stop addressing things to me as 'Mrs. DH Lastname'.
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste,
It all revolves around you.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
i did this. i had a pretty generic middle name, and i had no connection to it. plus it was the first part of his last name, so it would have sounded stupid if someone had said my whole name. something like, "jennifer mary maryson." but not that.
I told her I thought it was cute!