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3rd time is a charm right?
**keeps fingers crossed** I'm going to make it even shorter than last time...
Last year when Lance and I got into that big upset with his parents about the farm and the house, we agreed that all of his parents things would be moved out so that we could get things of our own and make it our own home. Things have been getting better little by little, but I am starting to get impatient, since they still haven't moved their things or furniture out of the master bedroom.
This isn't entirely their fault. I was nice and told them to take their time, since technically we don't need the room until June. I just want a couple months to get Wyatt's room ready (in the room we use now), and the nursery freshened up for the new baby. The problem is that now, instead of taking their furniture or selling it, they want to move it into a basement bedroom.
I want to know if I'm being a brat, but to me this is unacceptable. I don't want to use their frumpy old furniture to furnish my spare bedroom (that they call 'their' room) MIL said that she just wants to make sure that she has extra storage (the bed had drawers underneath), and I wanted to tell her that she does not need storage in our house, but I didn't because I'm tired of being the b!tch.
Lance has been doing nothing but pacify them, and I don't feel like I should be the one who has to tell them, because 1st. They are not my parents, and 2nd. I'll turn into the big bad b!tch again if I 'complain' again.
Unreasonable?
Re: 3rd time is a charm right?
I am on the fence on this one. On one hand I understand you not wanting their stuff in your house. We have a lot of dh parents stuff some are hand me downs but other stuff are things they are going to want back when they move back to ct in a few years. On the other at least it will be out of the master bedroom and out of sight for the most part. This is where they will stay when they are with you right ? They probably want a place that is still theirs in the house which would aggravate me too but maybe you should pick your battles. That being said I would probably be complaining to dh too if it were me.
In general, I agree with Alycia about picking your battles. And, since your ILs stay with you for part of the year, it might make sense for them to just have a room they can stay in, with their stuff in it, if that makes them happy. Plus, it saves you from having to buy something to furnish the room (assuming you don't already have something).
However, since I'm familiar with some of the backstory on this, and I know living in your ILs house has caused a lot of issues in your marriage in the past, I'd be careful about letting too much slide. You said some progress has been made since last year, and you don't want all of that to go by the wayside. If you can wrap your head around letting the furniture stay, maybe you can have Lance say something to them about how you're fine with that, but x, y and z still have to happen, as you'd previously agreed on? Or something to that effect?
I basically agree with the other two ladies.
I would say that if you don't already have furniture for the spare room, let them just keep their bedroom furniture there for the time being. At some point when you do decide to buy new furniture you can just have Lance call them up and be like "new furniture is coming, come get your stuff!"
That being said. I think the "deal" should be that if they leave the bedroom furniture, ever other last piece of their stuff needs to be gone. And they cannot just clutter/shove it all into the spare bedroom.
Thanks girls. I've been wondering how far I should take this. We do have furniture of our own to fill up both rooms, so really all they would be doing is filling up our storage room with stuff that we could be using. MIL also said a few days ago (without asking first) that she would be taking it upon herself to empty the one room and paint it. It did need to be painted, but it isn't her place IMO to just come over and paint it herself. So last night Lance and I stayed up until 1am so that it would be done when she gets here. All we need is a box spring and some pillows and the room is pretty much done with no help from them.
I just want my spare bedrooms to be spares. I want anyone who comes over to our house to feel welcome, including my Mom who is uncomfortable sleeping in 'their room'. I don't want them taking claim to the room or filling it with the things that they are too lazy to take home or get rid of. Half of the stuff in the master bedroom is just old family clutter that they acquired and feel bad getting rid of (even though they don't want it).
I do want to pick my battles, but I want this one to be picked. I feel like I've been patient for long enough. I've been living in this house for 4 years and I am still trying to be patient with the whole master bedroom thing. I feel that if they want to respect us and the fact that this is 'our' house, they don't need a room filled with their furniture.