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(RE)-intro Post (long)
Hi everyone! I previously posted under a different name a year and a half ago when this whole mess started, but Im starting fresh now that Im getting a divorce.
Real quick synopsis:
Marriage was crappy and going down the tubes, I blamed myself for everything (dumb I know). Discovered emails 3 days before our 3rd wedding anniversary and left. Found out over the course of 6 months that he had 5 physical affairs, many online emotional affairs and a real problem with pornography. Much counseling, soul searching and time later, we moved back in together in September 2011. I had come to the conclusion that it was possible he could change and if he did, and the person I fell in love with 10 years ago still existed, I wanted to at least see if I could forgive and love him again. Fast forward to now, we are having fun together, enjoy being around each other, but it doesnt feel like a marriage and he is not pursuing intimacy. RED FLAG. Found out that he falsified data at work- which is why he couldnt get a job after his other contract ended. Then found out he had continued to be unfaithful this entire time.
Basically, I had to get to a place where I really confidently knew I was making this decision based on the situation and not just my anger or my hurt. Its not what everyone would have done, but I am so glad I at least gave it a shot. Aside from looking like the bigger (and better) person, I also know 100% that I tried to forgive, and he wasnt willing or capable of changing, so there was nothing to save. Its a huge relief on many levels and I am excited to move forward. Of course I will mourn the loss of my best friend and someone so familiar who'd been in my life for 10 years and is ruining their life. But that person doesnt exist anymore so I need to move on.
I am out in the middle of no where finishing a short term contract so I dont have my support system around and Im just looking for a place to talk and get advice 
Re: (RE)-intro Post (long)
You know you don't really look like the bigger and better person for going back to him for a while, right?
But, you know, welcome (to both this board and better things in general).
lol, kuus, I love you.
OP, I'm glad you did what you needed to do to be sure that this is the right decision for you.
Fair enough. But first time we were separated, I received a lot of flack from my church and both families for leaving him out of "anger." At least now they cant say I didnt try.