Starting Over
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Just re-realized why I don't like dating young guys
Dude on OKC asked me out, he said friday works best for him, and he wants to go to a college party afterward haha. That just sounds so immature to me. Is that weird since I'm only 24? I just kind of skipped that whole college age phase, I moved out and started working full time when I was 19. I would feel soooooo damn awkward!
Re: Just re-realized why I don't like dating young guys
HA HA.
I went to my niece's wedding in Chicago last year. After the wedding, my other nieces asked me if I wanted to attend a frat party with them. LOL! I was 30. I don't think so, I have never been to one and I have no desire to do so...
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
Don't feel bad.
I moved out when I was 17 and worked full-time all through college, so I never really had that "typical" college experience, either.
I can be fun and silly, but the whole "let's get stupidly wasted at a club" thing was never something I really did, and if someone is still stuck in that mindset, I'm not interested.
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
Not weird, but is it by chance grad school and not under grad? I feel like partying with grad students could be fine, but definitely not undergrads. Plus I think it's a little weird for a first date.
The only frat party I ever went to was the party that got be forever banned from that fraternity.
I was walking in with the friend who dragged me along, when someone grabbed my ass. Me, being the woman that I am, turned around and slapped the guy. Apparently him grabbing my ass was fine, but me slapping him for doing so was assault. ::eyeroll::
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
Hmm... age 24 seems kind of the older end of the college age for college parties. But then again, there is are various types of college and some are far more sophisticated than the movie types of college parties depending on the field/area of interest. Unless the guy just does not want to grow up.
What the...?!?!?
If that isn't enough to turn people off of college parties, I don't know what is!
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
I haven't been to a frat party since... high school
I've always dated a little older, but I'm getting to the point where dating a little younger isn't a total no.
But then, I'm old enough my dates wouldn't even consider asking me to a college party.
Oh, and when I say "young", he's a year older than me haha.The guy I'm going out with this week is I think 3 or 4 years older, which is what I have been going for the past few years.
I think he kind of seems like maybe he just hasn't grown up.
I'll be the odd one who thinks it's not a big deal and you could go and have fun, meet new people, etc. My ex and I went to college parties when we were in our mid-twenties because the hosts were getting graduate degrees in engineering, his younger sister was in school, etc. It could be different than you are picturing. I went to a lot of college parties when I was in school also and always had fun
Lacking the context of your age, its hard to really grasp what you mean. If he's 22, this isn't weird. If he's 37, this is totally inappropriate.
I think this is what I was trying to get at. I moved out at 17, drank a lot with then abusive boyfriend, had an alcoholic year at age 20, and by the time I was 21, was sooooo far past "college"-type parties it wasn't even funny. Maybe it was because I DID grow up too fast (again, I worked full-time in a human resources office while going to school full-time), but those sort of activities just didn't appeal to me while I was in school, and most definitely didn't by the time I graduated.
Also:
Somehow I doubt that DDD would have called this a "college party" if it was being thrown by grad student, but I might be mistaken. Also, some (actually most) of the senior parties I heard about were really just higher class "let's get trashed" parties. So, yeah, they were "college parties" with higher quality booze. Still not the type of party I'd like to attend - at least not by the time I was in college.
As an aside, if it IS a graduate student party, I think it also might depend on what type of grad students are throwing it. I know the parties thrown by most of my law school friends TENDED to be a little more on the tame side. There was a lot of alcohol, yes (lawyers and their booze...let me tell ya) but it typically wasn't a lot of craziness - more sitting around talking (debating) various issues using drunken logic. The parties thrown by my grad school friends, otoh, especially those just in their first year? Definitely overgrown college parties. And the parties I've had the "luck" to attend while occasionally dating someone like the 25 year old you're talking about? Definitely overgrown college parties. Just my experience...
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
I'm 34 with a kid a full time job but I would go too...and boast that I would kick his @ss in beer pong.
I would say go, but if you get there and there are a bunch of minors or its just a bunch of guys doing keg stands and you don't feel comfortable ask him to leave. At least you tried it and showed you are open to new things...however it is a little strange for a first date.
Let's see, while I was in grad school, my (grad student) friends threw wine-tasting parties. And a karaoke party. Oh, can't forget the fondue party! Yes, a beer pong table occasionally made an appearance, but it was all in good fun, and no one would ever call these parties overgrown college parties. We did our fair share of drunkenly talking about science and our research, too.
Whoa whoa whoa. Calm down, UD. I went to grad school, too - not picking on you (I was one of you!).
My point was mainly to say that I NEVER saw a beer pong table make it's way out at ANY of the parties my law school friends threw...or a red solo cup, for that matter.
I did, however, see those things make an appearance at the parties my grad school friends threw - though mainly in their first year. It was actually like some kind of magic switch was thrown after that second year and the parties became more of the wine tasting, karoake, fondue type parties you're talking about.
I attributed it to the fact that most of my law school friends took at least a year off in between undergrad and law school, and most of my grad school friends went straight from grad school to their programs. ::shrug::
And, again, I DID say "just my experience." Woosa.
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
I'm 33. I wouldn't go and I think it's a very weird idea for a first date, no matter how old you are.
The only circumstances under which I can see going to a college party would be if I was visiting my old college and was with all my old college friends, or if I had a SO and I went with him to visit his old college. And neither of those circumstances would happen on a first date.
No worries, I was just presenting a different point of view. And, FWIW, in my experience, it was the law students throwing the parties replete with Solo cups and beer pong tables. It probably varies a lot depending on the school.
Fair enough. And, yeah, I definitely see that as a possibility. I went to a state school, so maybe that had something to do with it? I really do think, at least it my instance, it had at least something to do with age, though. The average age of my first year grad school cohort was 22/23 (I entered a 25), and my law school 1L class average age was 24/25 (I entered at 24).
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
I moved out at 17 because my home life was filled with abuse. And, because apparently I'm an idiot, moved in with an alcoholic bf who beat me. I was responsible for our bills (because he was a lowlife who wasted whatever small paychecks he could find on booze and drugs), so I learned how to manage a household (paying bills, taking care of laundry, making sure there were groceries and meals, etc). To get away from him, I became homeless (yay for towns without dv shelter ::eyeroll::), but a friend's mom took me in a few weeks later so I had a place to stay.
I enrolled in college and paid for it on my own, with the help of financial aid I rec'd for grades and with working part-time jobs.
When I realized I couldn't afford the university I chose, I dropped out, got a full-time job, and then started taking night classes at a different university. When a position opened up their in the human resources dept, I jumped at the chance for lower tuition, and got it. I worked full-time in the college's human resources dept, and took classes full-time (I didn't have a lunch break for three years, had night classes two to three nights a week, started and ran two student organization, and served on two faculty/staff committees). I lived on my own, paid all my own bills, purchased a car (when my old car was on its last legs), and still managed to graduate in the top 2% of my class.
I'd say that, compared to my fellow students in undergrad, I was fairly "grown-up." While my fellow students were concerned with how much "play" money they could get their parents to send them for the semester (I'm not joking, I heard it often), I was concerned with making sure I could make rent and still afford to buy my ramen.
I suppose everyone has their own definition of "grown up" though. ::shrug::
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho