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conflicted
Its been like 6 years since the break-up with my "first love". I took it really hard and guess not really had great closure. Ever since we did break up though I've been wanting something back that I had bought us and let him keep in his apartment. I've been wanting it back but not sure if he even still has it or if I should even bother asking him. We haven't spoken.. though there have been times we've seen each other in public places (not saying a word or waving hi) but has asked my sister a couple times about the family when she would bump into him. In those 6 years we have married some one else and I have a baby. I still occasionally think about him and things in the past. Is that normal? And what should I do about asking about the item back? 
Re: conflicted
Baby Boxer is coming! 5.23.12
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Is the item a piece of jewellery you got from your great great grandmother?
no.
Then let it go.
Its a painting
What makes this painting so fantastic that after 6 years you really want to ask for it back?
Is it an original Monet?
If it was this one, I can see why you haven't let it go.
wedding crashers by Hezzerlahlah, on Flickr
It's totally worth something.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
If I had an ex call me up after 6 years I would think they were crazy cakes.
It is natural to have him pass through your thoughts from time to time, heck I am happily married, and I think of ex's every once in a while.
To contact him, with what sounds like a lame excuse of a painting? No way.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
K. Thanks. I feel crazy for thinking it. But what you said makes me feel beter.
I've been thinking about it since we broke up. But was afraid to call him again and ask for it.So its not all of a sudden. Its been going on for awhile. And I didn't know he was breaking up with me or else I would have. His apartment at the time was 3 hrs out of town.
yeah, leave it. I suspect one of two things would happen if you asked for it back. You'd get it back and realize you don't even like the paining any more or you'd find out he pitched it 2 moves ago.
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If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
you've been thinking about a painting your ex has for 6 years?
yeah, you're so not over him.
Forget the painting.
I think this is more about establishing contact with the ex than it is about the painting. If it really was THAT important to you-- then you would have taken it originally. I think the painting is an excuse to get back into the guy's life.
Leave it alone. Are their any issues in your relationship or something else going on that triggered this? Why did you marry someone else if you felt this strongly about your ex? You have to realize that that is not fair to your husband right?
Don't contact your ex. leave it alone, forget the painting-- otherwise you risk upsetting two families. Would it be worth it?
okay. Thanks guys. No I'm happily married. I don't know why I care about it. It might have to do with seeing his mom and sister the other day that really brought it on. I dont want to get back together with him. I just dont like that everything pops back into my head after everything thats happened in the past years.
FWIW, I don't think you actually have feelings for him, or aren't over him, or whatever. I do suspect that you might be bogged down with everyday life, what with having a baby and all, and are looking for something to jazz things up (not cheating, of course, just a slight thrill from connecting to who you used to be when you were younger and less encumbered).
It's the mention of lack of closure that makes me wary of your real
Motives. First guy I loved broke up with me without a reason and I stopped caring about why much less than six years later.