Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need advice: Gift for newly divorced?
So my brother's divorce was finalized today. He's super bummed about it (he's very emotional and still misses her even though she cheated on him and left him after 10 years- only 9 months of marriage... for a woman... don't get me started!!)
Needless to say, he's been a wreck since this all started in July. He doesn't see this finalized as a good thing... but I want him to see it as a fresh start and the beginning of a new chapter in his life.
Do you have any suggestions on what to get a 30-something year old man who is dealing with the emotions of a failed marriage and divorce and is pretty down in the dumps??
TIA!
Re: Need advice: Gift for newly divorced?
Yeah, I don't think he'd be interested in that. He doesn't see this as a reason to celebrate- and I think that may put him over the edge a bit... but I want to do something to lift his spirits!!
While I'd prefer to not spend too much money- if it's a great idea, I know a few family members that would likely chip in.
I think really any sort of specific "divorce" present is going to send him over the edge. He's not currently looking at this as a new chapter, and no gift is going to change that perspective. In fact, it could be a rather unwelcome reminder of a dark time.
Instead, I'd look at doing activities with him that he enjoys to help keep his mind off of it. Or if he likes a particular sports team, maybe get him a ticket and one for his buddy. I found having things to look forward to was really helpful.
Honestly, I'd get him some gift cards for food places. It was really hard for me to eat and when I did, I didn't want to cook because I was depressed and it felt like too much work to cook. That coupled with the memories of us making dinner in the same kitchen that I was now alone in would overwhelm me.
Another nice thing my friends did for me was buy some cleaning supplies, cleaned while I was gone one day, and bought me some candles to light while I enjoyed my clean house. It was such a sweet thing to do and I was so thankful because at that point I was lucky to have the energy to wash a dish.
I agree with this and think it's a great idea! Get him out there doing something he loves to get his mind off of things.
I like the idea of gift cards for food...or maybe just inviting him over for meals?
One of the things I did, and also some of my friends, was to purchase new bedding. Seems weird, but the new bedding wasn't "ours" it was "mine" so I don't associate the bed with him anymore, kwim?
I was going to say a massage gc if he's that kind of guy. I got some great advice when going through my divorce to get massages, facials, pedis, etc. The human contact doesn't replace having the person you love(d) with you, but it helps a little with the lonely feelings.
If he's not that type, the food and a house cleaning are good ideas as well!
Hey girl! Thanks... yeah- it caught us all by surprise, especially since this all happened last June and the last time we saw her at the end of May she was saying how she was so excited to have a baby and wanted to be pregnant by the holidays!!! Talk about coming from left field....
We're really excited about LO#2... still haven't told some of our family members yet, though!
Yes, loving SAH... it has its challenges- as does everything- but it works for us!
How is everything with you?! CONGRATS on your engagement!! And B is sooo cute!! Getting BIG!
I will be facing my finalized divorce date next week and not celebrating the divorce itself which I think is devastating but rather look on the bright side of my new chapter.
I would suggest surprising your brother with some tickets or paid for lessons for some sort of new activities for him to try to help get him jumpstarted in his new chapter of life. Something like kayaking, karate lessons or even dancing lessons. He may make some new friends through these avenues as well as keep him busy and engaged with positive things in life.
That's a great idea! I know he loves the Phillies- so maybe something like that that he and I could go to together or he could bring a friend if he'd prefer....
I actually took him shopping after she moved out and we bought new bedding, lamps, pillows, etc and started to redecorate his place (she was a complete mess and so my mom and I scrubbed the whole house down and cleaned, too!)
And This:
I agree with pdx and I think tainted has a few great ideas!