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Not sure where to post.....
I am new to this board and I need some advice.
I was on the phone with my best friend the other day and I had been talking about my husband changing careers. Then she had started talking about one of her horses and I was making spaghetti dinner while she was talking to me, I knocked over the spaghetti sauce and it went everywhere. I said OMG I have to go and told her I would call her back. My husband came home while I was cleaning up the mess and started venting to me about his day. At that point it was too late to call her back.
I texted her promising to call her the next day. The next day I worked from 8am to 930pm. At 10:00 she sent me a nasty text message saying how I was a bad friend because I made her listen to me and then dropped her when it was her turn. I apologized and explained my work schedule and she didn't seem to care or believe me. I still planned on calling her as soon as I got home, but she beat me to it.
I would understand her being upset if I had done something like this before, but it was a coincidence. I was on her Facebook page today and found the image below on her page, posted by one of her other friends, and she commented "LMAO." My question is, is this about me and our situation? It's hard to prove that it is about me but my gut told me it is when I first saw it. Should I say anything to her about it?
Re: Not sure where to post.....
FB is the worst place to air hurt feelings. Especially on someone else's picture and someone else's LMAO about it. To make it "about you" is weird and awkward for everyone.
Talk to your friend and listen more than you plan to explain. She's desperate for your attention. Give her some.
FB is a bad place for venting! I so agree!
Thanks for the feedback, she is a SAHM so I don't think it was work related. I never posted a comment on the picture and I never intended to. When I asked if I should talk to her about it I meant on a private forum.
I don't know if it was about me, I probably never will. All I know is when I saw it, I was really hurt and embarrassed. It felt and still feels like she told her friend about our fight and now they are making fun of me in an indirect way. Most of our conversations are either mostly about her or 50/50. I won't say anything about the post, but I am now questioning how much of what I say stays with her.
I'm sorry, but "best friends" don't act like that toward one another. She sounds like she's a 13-year-old girl.
Does she have a history of acting like this, regardless of the circumstance? As long as you are not always the one to hijack the conversation, there was no reasonable explanation for her to 1-text you back that way, and 2-post that pic on Facebook.
Take some time to evaluate if this is a relationship that's worth your time and effort.
This.
If my friends got mad at me every time I was too busy to call back or vice-versa I would have no friends. Adults understand that life gets in the way, it doesn't mean you don't love her or care. It's not like she told you her H is divorcing her & you hung up.
IMO she owes you an apology for behaving like such a child & I would seriously be reconsidering a friendship with someone that would make me feel like crap for something so innocent.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
if my so called 'best friend' did that to me i'd be in need of a new one pretty quickly. that's 3rd grade stuff that i dont want any part of.
I'm going to just ignore the fb part (it sounds like it's about you but I'll just give her this one).
Even without that your "Best Friend" sounds ridiculous. Is she 12? I couldn't imagine any of my friends acting like this, if they did I'd likely be telling them off, why do you need this in your life? This is all over a phone call? Is she usually this immature about things? Does she usually get angry with people about absolutely nothing? I'd be questioning why I'm even friends with her in the first place.
Well, at first I was going to ask if you tend to have a habit of cutting her off, not listening to her, etc.
But a nasty text, a passive-aggressive Facebook message*, etc ... yeah, she sounds like a nut. I'd think about distancing yourself from her, at least a little bit.
* Ditto those who commented on Facebook. It causes so many stupid, needless arguments among friends.
Honestly, I would let the friendship fade away. She sounds passive agressive, self centered and high maintenance. I wouldn't waste your time with her. Focus your attention on people who do value you as a person, a person with her own life and priorities and not just their own sounding board.
I too had to let some long lasting friendships go to the wayside because I just kinda outgrew them and the people were just exhausting to deal with. I don't regret it.
Thank you so much for your feedback and support. I'm not going to pretend I have never done anything wrong, I do call her less than she calls me. But I text her to let her know that I am thinking about her and I have just been really busy.
She just quit her job to stay home with her kids and I just had my boss crack the whip and now we're all working 12-13 hour days so she obviously has more time to talk than I do these days. Also, most of her friends are SAHM's or the like and have time to talk all day, so to compare me to them and say I am a bad friend isn't fair IMO.
Also if I do randomly text her or facebook her she gets upset because she doesn't understand why I can't keep a more consistent time to talk to her. Her husbands grandfather passed away and I texted her to say I was sorry to hear and ask how her DH was doing, she replied with "As good as he can be" I said "Well I'm sorry, thinking about you guys." I got nothing from her and then the next day I saw that card thing on her page.
You ask someone for advice when you know what to do and wished you didn't. I know what the answer is, it just hurts because I need all the friends I can get, she was the MOH at my wedding and has known my husband since they were kids. Thank you all for your help.