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Am I being picky?
Before anyone asks, yes, this is an AE. Now that that's out of the way...
My ILs watched our 3 year old son on Saturday night so that H and I could go out on a date. H asks them to do this at least once a month so that we can have time as a couple. I've tried to not let it bother me, but the last 3 times we've picked him up from spending the night with his grandparents, I've noticed that he is wearing the same clothes that we dropped him off in the night before. Yesterday he was even wearing the same socks!
I didn't say anything the first couple times, but after seeing the day old socks, I mentioned it to H. Last night. He thinks that I'm being silly. But it bothers me that I make it a point to make sure that DS has at least 2 clean sets of clothes in his bag, make sure to let MIL know that they are there, and he comes home wearing the same clothes we dropped him off in.
What says FM? Am I being too picky? Would this bother you?
Re: Am I being picky?
I get that it's a weird thing that they keep him in the same clothes, but if you didn't say anything the first time then maybe they figure that you're O.K. with it. Maybe he puts up a struggle when they try and change his clothes, so they'd rather get him to sleep without a fuss then have him cry for an hour in a clean outfit.
Also, I think it makes a big difference as to whether the outfit is reasonably clean, or if he's got food or poop on him when you pick him up the next day. Is his skin being affected by the dirty clothes or anything like that (is he getting a rash)? Is he still in diapers or pull-ups, and if so are those dirty when you pick him up?
IDK if it'd bother me or not - I don't have children so I have no point of reference. I'm inclined to say that as long as my kid was safe, happy and reasonably clean, I'd just let it go. However, I'd be pissed if I made it a point to tell my parents/FIL that I wanted him changed and they just ignored my wishes, but on the other hand they'd be doing me a free favor and if they weren't harming my kid IDK if I'd want to throw away free babysitting just because of day-old socks.
Either way, he's your child and you're inclined to speak up about how you want him to be cared for. If your in-laws refuse to follow your rules, then hire another sitter. If you're paying someone for your kid's care then they're obligated to do what you ask of them.
No, it doesn't bother me. Not only does he come back from my parents sometimes in the same outfit, he'll do it with us too. There are occasional nights where he INSISTS he wants to sleep in his clothes from the day, and I'll let him. And then even the next day, he'll insist on wearing the same shirt.
As long as the shirt isn't obviously dirty, I don't care. I like to let him make as many choices as he can for himself, and this is one of those battles I don't fight.
90% of the time, he changes w/o issue. But the 10% where he doesn't want to change, I roll with it.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
It wouldn't bother me unless the clothes are noticeably dirty or unfit to be worn (like spilled milk on it, wet, smelly, dirty, etc).
As long as he seems to have had fun and is safe and well-cared for, I don't think I'd care.
Wouldn't bother me at all, given that he was happy and fed and otherwise 'clean' (didn't stink/ no dirty diaper/ heavily soiled underpants if no longer in diapers.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Is he filthy?
If not YES you are being WAY TOO picky.
BTW, why did this topic require an AE?
She doesnt want us to know how picky she is!!
I like this idea.
Yes, considering your H "asks" them to do this once a month, they are giving you free babysitting and a free night out. If you want things done YOUR way, hire a babysitter and pay them the $10 an hour that is the going rate!
I would also add....why not just say something the next time you pick him up and he is the same clothes? Like "did DS not want to change into the clothes I packed?"
Well I'm not sure about picky but I sure would be curious? Do they forget until after he's asleep? Are they uncomfortable with nakedness? Is it too difficult?
I see nothing wrong with asking?
Is this really about day-old clothes? Maybe they don't listen in other ways? Or they disregard your parenting somehow?
Once, my mother set me off when she said I didn't pack any fresh socks for DD. It was like nails on a chaulk board. I went to such lengths to MAKE SURE she had lots of fresh clothing, that I was irrationally irritated that they couldn't find them. Is this part of a bigger issue?
Thanks for all of the input guys. Like I said before, I know it's not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things. It just bothered me for some reason. Reading all of your comments really helped.
As for the AE, I created it a couple of weeks ago because I found out members of my "family" had been monitoring my posts here. I wanted to retain some degree of anonymity, especially since my ILs and I have had problems in the past when it came to DS. I'd wanted to get some level headed feedback before deciding whether or not to say anything about this particular issue. After reading the comments and giving it a small amount of thought, I do believe I was over reacting and it's really not worth bringing up to them.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Unless you drop him off really early why not just put him in his PJs before you bring him over there? Then when you pick him up and get home in the morning you can dress him for the day. The only way I'd mention it is if he's dirty and the left him unchanged.