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Caring for a sick parent?
My father has been staying with us for the last two months while he gets medical treatment. He does have underlying physical issues, but he is also dealing with serious anxiety and depression (both health-induced). I feel like we are doing everything we need to--getting him to the right doctors and mental health providers, but everyone agrees that his recovery is going to be slow. I am so tired. We have two young children and both (DH and I) have full time jobs. My dad isn't technically a lot of work (he cares for himself fairly well during the day) but he wants to talk about his condition constantly and he literally competes with my children for my attention. He is easily overwhelmed and I spend so much time cheerleading him and trying to calm him down. We are trying to figure out if he can go stay with one of my siblings for a while, but we don't know if we can do that without compromising his medical care.
Is anyone else dealing with this issue? Do you have any advice or online resources I could use? I found a caregivers support group in my area, but it's not at a time that I can go. I am seriously stressed out.
TIA for any advice--
Re: Caring for a sick parent?
Would it be possible to get a companion/homemaker to come stay with him during the day?
I'm sure your town has a social worker --- speak to him or her to get an idea of what other resources are available to you.
I am currently caring for my grandmother, so can sympathize but not much help. I work from home, and keep my 2 granddaughters several days a week, so I know what your going through. My grandmother cannot be left alone, at all, so I'm still trying to figure things out and get used to staying home A LOT!
Can you think of any way to delicately express to him that your children need more of your attention and try to set aside a specific time (like when the kids go to sleep) to sit with him and talk. That way he can also have your undivided attention and issues that aren't child appropriate can be discussed more easily then also. Or maybe even a specific time that is solely for your children.
If he has anxiety and depression chances are he isn't interested in joining any outside groups just yet. Does he still have any interest in a hobby? Some preoccupation may be helpful for him to get his mind off of his problems and woes. If not are there small household tasks that he can perform that won't overwhelm him (like folding laundry or putting the dishes away) that maybe can be scheduled for the evening - this will keep him busy, help him feel useful, and give you a little break during the evening when you are home. If that doesn't work, then maybe you can arrange an activity that he and the kids can do together - if they are old enough maybe they can "interview" him and get his life story and work to write it up and publish it with an easy computer program - this may keep both busy for a while and give you a little break.
Best of Luck, I know it is hard to care for a sick parent. While I do not have any children, I have experience with a parent who is depressed and an in-law who died from cancer (and was cared for at home), and it is definitely not easy to cope with. There is likely an online support group - that way you can always fit it into your schedule.
I would contact your county and see if there are any senior services that he qualifies for. If he is under medical care, perhaps you can speak with a social worker and find out what community resources are.
Also, if you belong to a church, maybe they have an outreach program? I know that for meals-on-wheels, a lot of the seniors are not just looking for food, but for the companionship that comes when the meal is delivered as well.