Military Nesties
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
For those of you that both you and DH are enlisted...
Does the military always keep you together? What if your in different branches, do they do a good job coordinating? Just curious!
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Re: For those of you that both you and DH are enlisted...
No mileage limits. One spouse can deploy, then you're on opposing deployment schedules. I think tx has more experience in this area; DH and I were lucky. I picked an MOS that was needed everywhere, and he picked a specialized one.
Needs of the military come first, then they work with you. But it isn't a cakewalk by any means. I've seen people separated for a long time.
H and I are on opposing deployment schedules. Although we were assigned to the same permanent duty station, he was gone, then I was gone, then while I was still gone, he had to go to a school, so we needed to find someone to care for our dogs, then I was home for two weeks, left again, and we basically lived like that for two and a half years. He's gone now, and I leave for a short school the week after he gets back. I'm due to deploy this coming winter, so a short overlap of us being home at the same time, solely due to the fact that I'm pregnant and can't go yet, otherwise I'd be on a deployment rotation leaving next month.
It's a juggling act, to say the least, and I have no idea how we'll manage adding kids to the mix. The needs of the military come first and the effects are definitely amplified when both parties of the relationship are juggling long hours, TDYs, deployment readiness, focused on promotability, etc.
We request bases that other people don't want to go to, like Cannon AFB, so there's a higher chance of being stationed together, since it can be tough to find slots for both our jobs.
Wow, my hat's off to you that's a lot.
I'm not in, so my experience is non-existent, but I'm trying to be.
I recently had a setback with my OCS package because of a medical procedure. Had I been able to go to the board I wanted to go to, I would have been leaving almost immediately after H returned from deployment. I would have been gone a yearish, and he's slated for another trip right around then. We knew all this before we got married and I restarted the application process.
When H lat moved to his current MOS (with my urging and blessing), I knew it would completely alter what I wanted to do in the Marine Corps if I ever got it. I wanted to fly, and I had every intention of fighting really hard to end up pretty much exactly where H is now. Because he is enlisted and I am attempting to be an officer, there is no chance of us being in the same squadron, which would mean opposite deployment schedules, and that particular community is very small, so I would very likely know well the people H knows well, and the people H works with on his team, the people that H depends on for his life (and who also depend on H for their lives). I thought long and hard about what was most important to me about being a Marine Corps Officer, and it wasn't being the biggest BAMF, it was about leadership and responsibility for the people under my command, and I can be a fantastic leader (perhaps a better and more accountable one) with a ground MOS. So marrying H changed my military dream, but also provided a new clarity about what kind of service member I wanted to be. If I get in, I have my Ojo to tell me to suck it up if/when I whine!
ETA: H also has 10 years in, and we think about kids in about 5 years. When he gets out, he wants to get an MA and teach, so I think that will be conducive to child rearing. And before they're 5, they won't know the difference, right? I mean babies are just like rahr, and spit, and stuff, yeah?
You know it.
I freaking hope so. That's pretty much all I'm counting on right now.
Honestly, I'm still torn. I've been scoping out civilian jobs and I know I'm employable, particularly in my current location, but it's scary and sad to think of getting out. The thought of leaving two infants when they're only six months old and knowing that while our families are super excited right now about our babies, they're really not reliable people and I can't count on them to be my FCP. Plus, I dislike the CDC and the daily logistics of getting two babies out the door by 6:15 every morning sounds awful, but I know bazillions of people manage to do it, so it's not a valid excuse.Butting in here (we're not dual service) but I wanted to offer some perspective on this, Ojo. Just because other people are okay with doing something with their kids doesn't mean you have to be okay with it too. You probably know this, but really if the thought of using the CDC makes you uncomfortable DON'T USE IT. I took one tour of ours and cried all the way home because I hated what I saw there so much and couldn't imagine sending LittleL there as an infant. It's not a terrible place at all, and many of my friends' kids have been happy there, but it wasn't right for my baby. When I found the right daycare provider I knew it in my gut just the same way I knew that the CDC was not a good option.
*butting out*
28/100
LittleL 8/10/07
Baby E 11/27/10
Check out my makeup and reading blog:
Books and Beauty
Thank you.
Our CDC is not very welcoming towards parents (and parents-to-be) who drop by unannounced, which is obviously a red flag to me.
My neighbor runs a daycare, so I asked for her opinion and for our local area, having kids in the CDC vs an in-home daycare would only save us about $200/mo, but I guess a lot of people are more comfortable with the added inspections and such that the CDC has to go through. After I talked to that neighbor, I asked another neighbor and she said she frequently hears the daycare neighbor screaming (with occassional cussing) at the kids.
What I really want is an in-home nanny, as that seems like the best of all worlds for me, less of a mad dash in the morning, a bit of a cushion in getting home after work, cloth diapers, no restrictions on what kind of sunblock gets applied to my kids, etc. I'm searching for college students who want to work during the day and take night classes.
Kids bring about so many difficult decisions.
Have you considered a nanny share? We had one with our neighbors (who are dual military and really needed a live-in nanny for times when one of the parents was deployed) and it was wonderful. If you live near any other families with young kids it's definitely worth looking into, and the cost becomes far more reasonable when you're splitting it with another family.
28/100
LittleL 8/10/07
Baby E 11/27/10
Check out my makeup and reading blog:
Books and Beauty