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the right *not* to know

A woman with a nonviable pregnancy talks about her experience with Texas's forced ultrasound/description law.  It will make you angry/cry.  I actually didn't realize that a sonogram done that same day wouldn't count.  I'm not sure of the reasoning behind that.

http://www.texasobserver.org/cover-story/the-right-not-to-know

An excerpt:

?I am so sorry,? the young woman said with compassion, and nudged the tissues closer. Then, after a moment?s pause, she told me reluctantly about the new Texas sonogram law that had just come into effect. I?d already heard about it. The law passed last spring but had been suppressed by legal injunction until two weeks earlier.

My counselor said that the law required me to have another ultrasound that day, and that I was legally obligated to hear a doctor describe my baby. I?d then have to wait 24 hours before coming back for the procedure. She said that I could either see the sonogram or listen to the baby?s heartbeat, adding weakly that this choice was mine.

?I don?t want to have to do this at all,? I told her. ?I?m doing this to prevent my baby?s suffering. I don?t want another sonogram when I?ve already had two today. I don?t want to hear a description of the life I?m about to end. Please,? I said, ?I can?t take any more pain.? I confess that I don?t know why I said that. I knew it was fait accompli. The counselor could no more change the government requirement than I could. Yet here was a superfluous layer of torment piled upon an already horrific day, and I wanted this woman to know it. 

ETA b/c I meant to emphasize, not scare quote 

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Re: the right *not* to know

  • i wonder if these clinics can give the woman some noise cancelling headphones to wear during the "explination".

    this broke my heart.

    proof that i make babies. jack, grace, and ben, in no particular order
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  • I can't, I just can't. The insanity needs to be stopped.
  • I read this last night and just sobbed.  I really lost it at the part where the nurse turns up the radio to drown out the doctor describing the baby.
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  • Heartbreaking. I'm wondering how on earth people could defend this.
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  • imageswimbikepuke:

    Yeah. Had to carry to term. Can you imagine all the strangers asking you about names, boy/girl, nursery colors, oh you must be so excited.  And you know the baby will die within 10-20 minutes of birth?

    Fwcked up.   

    I respect people who choose to carry to term.  But everytime I hear about it, I think about what you've described.  Everyone congratulating you, touching you, asking personal details.  

    I can't even imagine having to say, well, no nursery b/c the kid's not coming home.  And, I'm not really excited, you know?  But I thank Rick Perry for my slut shaming. 

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  • imageOscarQ:
    I read this last night and just sobbed.  I really lost it at the part where the nurse turns up the radio to drown out the doctor describing the baby.
    I read it last night, too.  And this morning when I wanted to post I couldn't remember where I found it.  I had to google.

    The radio part was what made me start reading it to H.  And then we both got all angry and sad and ranty.  And then finished the bottle of wine.  Between this and Inhofe's interview on Maddow, it was a high bp evening in the Sibil household. 

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  • Ugh, that was hard to read.  Especially the part about the nurse turning up the radio to drown out the doctor's description. 

    This makes me so angry - and then I feel discouraged because these laws keep being passed. Sad

    "Today, the mad scientist can't get a doomsday device, tomorrow it's the mad grad student. Where will it end?"
  • imageSibil:
    imageswimbikepuke:

    Yeah. Had to carry to term. Can you imagine all the strangers asking you about names, boy/girl, nursery colors, oh you must be so excited.  And you know the baby will die within 10-20 minutes of birth?

    Fwcked up.   

    I respect people who choose to carry to term.  But everytime I hear about it, I think about what you've described.  Everyone congratulating you, touching you, asking personal details.  

    I can't even imagine having to say, well, no nursery b/c the kid's not coming home.  And, I'm not really excited, you know?  But I thank Rick Perry for my slut shaming. 

    I'd like to think I would use that time as the biggest activism platform of my life. God, to think how powerful that message could be. 

    But luckily, I live in a state where I would never have to make that decision. Mass makes allowances for late term abortions where the fetus has a major medical problem that would not allow it to survive after birth.

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  • No one should be forced to undergo this emotional and physical intrusion regardless of viability. But for the government to mandate this for nonviable pregnancy is just sadistic and cruel. Once again, I just hate people sometimes.
  • Devoid of compassion.  Shaking my head.

     

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  • imageswimbikepuke:

    This reminds me of one of DH's patients during residency who at 20 weeks found out her baby only had two heart chambers.  So the baby was fine while in utero but would die a slow agonizing death of hypoxia upon birth.  Mom's on medicaid so no abortions.  I guess she could have paid out of pocket.  But my understanding is that a late abortion like that would have been no small chunk of change.  And well, she wasn't on medicaid because she was flush with cash.

    Yeah. Had to carry to term. Can you imagine all the strangers asking you about names, boy/girl, nursery colors, oh you must be so excited.  And you know the baby will die within 10-20 minutes of birth?

    Fwcked up.   

    Oh my god, this breaks my heart. How terribly awful. 

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  • This is disgusting.

    There is nothing you (the general you) or any law maker or government official can tell met that will ever justify this as ok in any circumstance.  This choice, no matter what the circumstance is between a woman, her husband/wife/so/whoever she feels close enough to in her life to share this decision with, and her doctor.  Period. Stop. End of story.   

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  • imageswimbikepuke:

    This reminds me of one of DH's patients during residency who at 20 weeks found out her baby only had two heart chambers.  So the baby was fine while in utero but would die a slow agonizing death of hypoxia upon birth.  Mom's on medicaid so no abortions.  I guess she could have paid out of pocket.  But my understanding is that a late abortion like that would have been no small chunk of change.  And well, she wasn't on medicaid because she was flush with cash.

    Yeah. Had to carry to term. Can you imagine all the strangers asking you about names, boy/girl, nursery colors, oh you must be so excited.  And you know the baby will die within 10-20 minutes of birth?

    Fwcked up.   

    Between this and the OP, I literally have tears coming down my cheeks.

    I can't even begin to imagine what your H's patient had to go through. Can't even begin. Because yes, of course, once you do start showing, everyone and their mother has a million questions. Oh yeah, I just can't...I can't.

  • This is so heartbreaking and horrifying. How are we still going through this in 2012?
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  • This is so heartbreaking. 

    I had an abortion, possibly at that same PP in Austin 5 years ago. 

    It was hard enough for me to have the transvaginal ultrasound and hear how far along I was, I can't imagine having to go through the detailed description and a 24 hr wait. My mind wouldn't have been changed but it would have made a really difficult time even worse for me.

     My heart breaks for the women who have to go through this experience due to the new law. 

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