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distant
Our wedding ceremony is slowly approaching. My husband and I have never really had that romantic bit in our relationship. We don't have a song to dance our first dance to, and it feels like he would rather hang out with his friends then spend time with me. I feel like we are constantly bickering and rarely loving. We don't go out on dates or have nights to ourselves. (we have a 1 year old son, with whom most of my nights are spent). He has conversations with his best female friends but when he and I are at home together you can hear crickets. My heart is breaking. I guess I have become recluse since the birth of our son and he can't sit around the house. I know I get cabin fever a lot of the time too, but it's around the time our son is asleep so I can't go anywhere. I work 2 part time jobs and that's usually the extent of me getting out. I need a hug.
Re: distant
You need more than a hug. Please at a minimum postpone this wedding, this is much more than wedding-related stress.
Does he work as well? Are you making an effort to be less reclusive? What do you bicker about? Do you love him? You didn't mention that last part once.
When is the wedding?
Have you thought about marriage or premarriage counselling?
Thoughts on making a date night once a week? Getting a baby sitter.
What do you bicker about? Is this just in frustration over feeling neglected?
Do you love him/still want to marry him?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Serious questions: Why do you want to marry him?
It doesn't sound like you are happy or in love with him. I see you have a child together, but staying in a relationship just for a child is NOT a good reason to get married here.
I also would like to know if you have tried any counseling. Did you ever have happy times?
Listen. You do not have to marry this guy, just because you're engaged to him. If you two are having communication issues now, what do you think is going to change post-wedding to improve your communication?
At a minimum, the two of you need to do some counseling to address the accident/disability issue. I know better than most how something like a life-altering car accident can change your lives. Deal with this now, before you get married.
I believe that you do love him, but love is not enough to make a marriage work long term.