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Friends with Kids
Did anyone see this? I saw it today and thought it was pretty good... parts were really funny but other parts were sad. It's scary how much more complicated relationships become when children get involved.. not that I know from personal experience (no kids of my own but my divorce was so easy and quick mainly because we didn't have kids together)
One part that made me sad was when the main character said that when she meets the right person that she wants to have children with they will only have a limited time to enjoy each other before embarking on the kid thing... I am only 31 but I kind of understand what she is saying. There is so much I want to do and places I want to go before kids but realistically I don't want to have kids much after 35 so it's kind of overwhelming to think about.
Re: Friends with Kids
I didn't see the movie, but personally I don't think that's such a tragedy!
DH and I were both 30+ (dh even older) when we met. We had a baby one year after we got married, but it was the life we both wanted. We had both (separately) reached our own personal goals, traveled, etc. on our own. The next step on our lives was finding a partner and starting a family. And we still enjoy each other, just more in a family context than a "couples" context.
So........go live the life you want NOW. Save your $ and plan that trip you've always wanted to take or train for a marathon. Nothing is stopping you. Really, if you've reached 31 already and haven't done these things, you have only yourself to blame, so don't blame kids if you don't do them later.
I find that I do more things now that I have DS in the picture. I didn't travel when I was married and now we fly all the time on the planes, my son loves to travel and has been to Canada and other states. Soon we are going to fly to South Carolina this summer to visit family and go to Myrtle Beach.
I even do more things now with my friends, in January, I went to Hawaii with 2 other close friends without DS. I even have more wine/drink nights because I appreciate the break even more. My bond with my friends is even stronger because of DS.
I am actually enjoying getting to know divorced men with children, it is nice to know and meet men that are on the same path as I am . They seem to me more outgoing since they tend to be proactive with keeping their children busy and are more familiar with the city and things to do. They too enjoy their breaks when it comes to dinner night out or the like so I think it is a good balance.
Life is what you make of it. I see children as a part of my expanding life treasures and not something that take away from my other part of life. I don?t feel one bit bad for my situation, I feel super lucky and I have so much love around me.
I would also not want to have kids right away, it's not a matter of "I haven't gotten to do things yet" because I do plenty as a single person, but it's more of I want to enjoy being with my husband, just us, being selfish and doing whatever we want for a while before settling down and having a kid. I've been to Europe before, but I'd want to have the chance to go together.
Yes... this is what I was trying to say. I should have said places I want to go and experiences I want to share with my husband before I have kids... I am living my life to the fullest.. I travel very frequently, am currently living in another country (which was one of my life long goals), am progressing in my career and have a wonderful life.