It'd been a while since a guy went all crazy clinger on me. Unfortunately, it was the lawyer I'd kinda thought was normal.
Then this weekend, he started talking about what "we" are, and I was completely honest - I don't want a long distance texting thing. No thanks. Just wanted to be FWBs for a day.
Then. He. Went. Nuts. It will be a challenge to cram all this into one post, but I will try, friends. It's worth reading.
I think he felt like he was losing me, first came the depressed sounding texts:
?maybe weve been dreaming, I could see spending my life with you but maybe it?s time we see this for what it is?
?Did you just lose interest? What changed??
?I will always regret not talking to you sooner. I wish you the best, maybe in another life.?
?I?m shell shocked, I was more attached to you than I thought. Please let me know what you decide.?
?I know it?s extreme but come live with me and we?ll see what happens. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn?t, but either way it will be the best time of our lives?
{THEN when I said no to that:}
?what if we were married? Would it change your mind then? I know it?s a big chance but either way I want you in my life?
?I know it?s not all that common now but it once was. I think we could make it work, you are the yin to my yang?
?what do you think/feel??
?just so we?re clear, I?m offering you all that I am. I want to wake up in your arms and see you smile and kiss you. Will you spend the rest of your life with me??
{This I also politely declined.}
"I wish I could move but I'm not licensed in [my state]. Any way I could talk you into changing location?"
{hmm, i believe I already said no. So i said it again, reiterating that I don't want any part of this relationship.}
"okay then, what changed? I felt like we both wanted to see where this went."
" i wish you hadn't moved, we could have been so great"
"please find the happiness you deserve. I know it won't be with me.
But you are INCREDIBLE so please don't settle"
{after I didnt reply to any of those, he quieted down for the night. Then the next day...}
"sorry for the craziness yesterday, i feel like i'm losing a best friend. I respect your decision and you're right, we both need someone there every day. But I still think I should come up and visit, I won't make it emotional, I promise. I just want to fuckyourbrainsout"
"If you want to know what's different, I no longer hav hope. U don't want to see if this develps cuz you want someone right now. I cant move and you don't want to. It was a nice dream but its over. So do you still want a one night stand?"
"If you ever cared for me, will you grant me just one phone call?I just have questions and want to say goodbye in person. I won't be confrontational or yell but it would help me deal with this.I'm sorry to have to ask."
{at this point I've ceased replying in any form, hoping he gets the hint. He did not get the hint. I got this Facebook message this morning; it's a direct c&p, I laughed at some of the things I didn't say - that he seems to remember me saying:}
o I wanted to tell you I?m sorry for the last couple of days. I acted poorly, I?m sorry. I meant it when I said that I had been searching for someone like you my whole life. I can?t describe how much I want to be with you and see what develops between us. But I have reacted terribly the last two days. I?m not sure if you can forgive me, but please try to remember what I?m really like. It is no excuse, but I just couldn?t stand the thought of destroying this before we see it through. As for my sex proposition, I am hurting and thought I could fck out the pain. Not my brightest idea, but I didn?t know what else to do. I thought things were going well and then you said that you couldn?t do it any longer. Did I misread you? I thought you wanted to be with me. I know the long distance *** sucks, but I thought it was temporary. I thought we would text and see each other when we could, and eventually if things went great, then we would figure out a way to be together. I remember you asking me how often I would be able to see you if you transferred back to Greenville, and you saying that when you saw me the first time, you were just glad to know you still had feelings. Did something change?
Re: For your amusement - another man goes crazy (long but worth it)
Yeah. OMG. Wow. I smelled a marriage proposal somewhere in there.
The FWB situation I'm working on right now is also with an attorney. I sorta figured since he's seen so much divorce/family law stuff, he'd be more down to earth and realistic as far as relationships go and this would be a fun distraction for both of us. It sounds like that is NOT the case in your situation. Wow...and WOW again.
How did you get involved with this guy in the first place?
He was my divorce attorney! We'd talked a lot leading up to the hearing, and he seemed really nice. And hot. We'd just been texting and talking one the phone pretty regularly since then, and he was going to come up to visit me at the end of this month, just to bang like bunnies with no strings (i thought) But we've NEVER been on a date and I NEVER said I'd move to be closer to him and this is just ... wow.
And
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
And
I agree....maybe stage 10?
I'm going to agree with Kuus.
Thismanisinsane. Not to worry you, but I'd definitely keep a record of all of these communications from him. And (because I'm all paranoid-mcgee) would maybe think of staying with a friend or having a weekend away the weekend he was supposed to come visit. Because I can sort of see him just showing up at your place on the designated day expecting to change your mind with his presence. And I wouldn't want to be there to meet crazycakes in person.
Sorry you're having to deal with him.
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
Wow, that's just INSANE. Especially since you never even dated. Putting on my
face right now. I agree with PP that you might consider staying with a friend the weekend he is in town - if this guy knows your address, then there is a good chance he'll be stalking your a$$ trying to find a moment "to just talk to you in person" or maybe he'll get a ring (while all of this would make a good story, I'd hate for you to be in danger) - this guy is totally bing-bong-boing!