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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
NSOR: Would you rather...(wedding related)
Would you rather go to a reception that was casual, come-as-you-are-go-as-you-please, with good food, drinks, music, yard games, bonfire, etc.
Or would you rather go to a normal wedding reception, with the big white tent, linens, white wooden chairs, centerpieces, china place settings, structured timeline, etc. Still with good food, drinks, music, etc.
The ceremony would be family only, and either take place earlier in the day, or even the day before. Both receptions would be adult only and the bride and groom would NOT expect gifts...just in case those might be factors in your decision.
Re: NSOR: Would you rather...(wedding related)
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I like option #1. But I'm not big into "wedding" stuff anyway
This makes sense. I also think anything with a backyard, bonfire, sounds like a great time.
See, I've been to a not-first wedding that was like option 1, and while it was fun, I felt kind of awkward at the lack of structure. Maybe it was because it was my STBXH's family and I didn't know a ton of people, but in that situation, I would have preferred a more traditional set-up.
That said, if you're having a family-only ceremony the day before, I think it makes more sense to have an open-house style reception.
If someone I loved were to forgo the whole reception because they wanted to be responsible with money (save for a house, kids, whatever) I would totally support that. The party doesn't make you any more (or less) married, you know?
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
Agreed!
There's a lot of cost effective ways to have a reception that don't break the bank. What about having it at a local park? Having brunch? A lot of restaurants offer reduced rates for a brunch of afternoon reception or just going with a drinks/dessert type of reception?
I hear you - spending the money is a killer, especially when debt repayment is number one priority. We are somehow making it work with a 7k budget. Somethings (food) are expensive, while we have gotten a break on other things (ceremony place, officiant).
I refuse to cut corners when it comes to food! IMO, the food, drinks and company are what make (or break) the party!!
If I were you, I'd pick option #1 simply because I have already done the big fancy wedding (don't know if you did for your first) and looking back it was all so showy and fancy and, quite frankly, wasteful. It was what our parents and families wanted and since the parents were paying for it, we did it.
B and I have already talked about what we want for our wedding. Neither of us want a big to-do -- totally isn't his style, and I've been there done that. We live by the beach and if you have less than 100 people you don't need a permit to have a "gathering" on the sand. So we have a spot picked out where we will tell everyone to meet us. We will have a quick 15 minute vows ceremony and then walk up the street to our favorite restaurant to have dinner and drinks -- no garter, no flower toss, no formal dancing -- just music, good food and good wine. It is a nice restaurant and they do have a private dining room upstairs that we will use for our dinner. Some people may think it is weird we aren't having dancing, but we just don't want anything super formal like that. And the restaurant is where we had out first "fancy" dinner out, so it has meaning to us.
I say it needs to reflect you and FF. Which ever option reflects you two better, that is what you should do. If people don't like it, they really don't have to go. When it comes down to it, both options sound fun in different ways, so it is a win-win!
I think I'd like a combination of the two. I do like certain aspects of traditional weddings, like dressing up. I sometimes think there are fewer and fewer opportunities to get all dolled up so I enjoy that part of weddings. I don't like the formal sit down with the structured timeline of a traditional reception.
So maybe, a little fancier casual reception?
Honestly if the budget is tight, a party (even done on the cheap) for 150 people is going to be pricey. I would say skip the big party. Have your family ceremony and then have something really nice, special and intimate after. Perhaps a lovely dinner at a restaurant.
I go with the casual route. I like everything you've been pinning on Pinterest (the rustic look is soooo cute with so many fun ideas). I think since it's a second wedding for both of you, casual is better.
One of the best receptions I ever went to was an outdoor wedding at one of the bride and groom's friend's parent's wineries (which is also at their home). It was a backyard reception, overlooking the winery and so beautiful. They had margarita machines and a table set up for tequila shots. They also had a dessert table instead of cake and they had sugar cookies shaped like their initials. it was all very intimate and personal and the bride and groom had a great time. I suggest something like that!