Buying A Home
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Buy a home or start a family?
If you could only do one or the other to be able to still live comfortably, which would you do?
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Re: Buy a home or start a family?
Honestly, it is a very personal choice. Our goal was a home first, then children but it didn't happen that way. Moving was slightly more complicated with an 8 month old to care for, but DS was our motivation to move - the two bedroom condo we were renting was really tight with all of his stuff and ours!! We had lived in every inch of the space before he was born.
I will say, it was nice to set up our new home with him in mind. Breakable things have always been out of reach, a big section of the living room has always been his "play area," and we don't need to "make room" for any of his things.
Kids live in rentals their entire lives and are completely normal, functioning adults. You don't need to own your home before having children. However, if that is a priority for you, then buy first.
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It depends on timing. DH bought a house before we got married. We waited a couple years after we got married to start trying to conceive. We just wanted a couple years of married life before bringing children into the mix. We have number 2 on the way and about to close on our 2nd home.
It wasn't one or the other for us.
I'm for starting a family first. All too often people buy a house together and then break up, or buy a house alone and then meet Mr/Miss right, and it's suddenly not the right house anymore.
However, I don't think it really matters whether you buy a house before or after having children. There are a lot of factors that go into both decisions, and they aren't contingent on each other. Babies don't need houses, and houses don't need babies. However, both are better saved for when you have financial stability, while neither provide it. I think that's a big part of the reason they both happen at around the same time for a lot of people.
However, if you can only afford one or the other but not both, probably renting is a better deal than ownership in your particular area anyway.
Family If it was only possible to one of the other we would have kids first.
Luckly for my hubby and I we are in the process of buying our first house now and just started ttc.
If everything goes the way we are hoping maybe we will find out we have a baby on the way a few weeks after we close.
We started our family first, and buying a house wasn't even on our radar. We lived in Chicago, in a pretty great/huge apartment and were perfectly content. But then my husband got a job in the 'burbs and here we are. We just bought the perfect house for our family.
Honestly, we would have been happy renting forever if we stayed in the city. But we really love being out here and having our house too. Completely content with the order in which we did things.
Family. Baby boy is not going to care whether we rent or own.
However, this is an extremely personal and situational decision. We have a 3 bd, 2 ba rental with a yard and a garage, so it's not like we're cramped for space adding a baby. If we were stuck renting a one bedroom apt, things would be different for us.
As everyone has said, it is a personal choice.
My husband doesn't have strong feelings either way. For me, I want the house first. I don't see anything wrong with renting and having a family, for me it is more that I would want to decorate a nursery (paint, etc.) and we can't really do that in our apartment. We are also on the second floor and the idea of carrying baby, baby's stroller, etc. up and down the stairs all time doesn't sound great to me.
That said, if it was one or the other permanently, I would choose a family. I would choose a house first if it meant delaying kids for a while, not if it meant never having kids.
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