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critique my profile?

I decided to unhide my POF profile.  Anyone care to critique it?  I'll just c&p the About me section.  I have 7 pics that I feel are a good mixture of full body shots and me having fun, etc. Any feedback would be great!

I think I'm a pretty fun loving chick. I like to have fun and think I have an awesome sense of humor (but I'm also finding that pretty much everyone thinks that about themselves). I enjoy hanging with my friends -- drinks after work, fire pits and beer in the driveway, concerts and ball games sorta things. I can be a bit sarcastic and sometimes I am a bit sarcastic at inappropriate times -- it keeps people on their toes that way though!

I'm looking for someone that makes me a priority in his life and will allow me to make him a priority in my life. I want someone that makes me be a better person -- but doesn't try and change the core me so to speak. I used to have a very specific list -- one that was pretty much unattainable. I told myself I wasn't going to settle. Instead I found that I was missing out on meeting some really cool people. While I still won't settle, I don't have as a specific of list (even though there will have to be some pretty amazing qualities for me to consider dating a MU fan).

I like
to travel
to watch KU sports
country music
rap music
Twitter
going on random road trips
that the neighborhood kids think I'm cool
hot dogs at the K
Sonic Dr Pepper
finding a good deal
decorating
sleeping in on Saturdays
hugging
kissing
McDonald's Sweet Tea
laughing
smiling
texts from my best friend
flying Southwest
that feeling when I get a text or random phone call from someone I like
playing Words with Friends
Skype/FaceTime
peanut butter M&M's
catching up with childhood friends
Worlds of Fun (well I did in the 8th grade -- surely it's still cool now)
going to the lake
steaks off the grill
the crispness of clean sheets on the bed
when a guy smells good

*The only way to dream is big*

Re: critique my profile?

  • I don't really care for the "I like" section.  These are things potential dates will get to know about you on dates, so don't throw it all out there in the profile. 

    I'm not a huge fan of the second paragraph, well parts of it at least. I'm not a guy but I think the "make me a better person" might scare some guys off.  I also think saying that you had "unattainable" expectations in the past might freak them out and make them think you are looking for perfection.

    How about in the what you're looking for part, put things like "I'd like to meet someone who likes (and then put in a few of your likes or something like that)"?

  • I don't like the use of "I think" it sounds too unsure. And using "chick" sounds a little rough around the edges. I've edited it below. Of course feel free to take it or leave it.

    I'm looking for someone to enjoy laid back times with, drinks after work, fire pits and beer in the driveway, concerts and ball games. My sarcastic humor keeps my friends on their toes, but I promise to take it easy on you, well on the first date at least.


    I'm a loyal partner and value someone who will make me a priority in his life and vise versa. I believe in an ideal partnership we make each other better versions of ourselves. I'm looking for a person, not a list of qualities. Although if you're an MU fan, you'd have to be pretty convincing. 

    Outside of work I enjoy doing xyz...

     

     

  • imagepdx18:

    I don't like the use of "I think" it sounds too unsure. And using "chick" sounds a little rough around the edges. I've edited it below. Of course feel free to take it or leave it.

    I'm looking for someone to enjoy laid back times with, drinks after work, fire pits and beer in the driveway, concerts and ball games. My sarcastic humor keeps my friends on their toes, but I promise to take it easy on you, well on the first date at least.


    I'm a loyal partner and value someone who will make me a priority in his life and vise versa. I believe in an ideal partnership we make each other better versions of ourselves. I'm looking for a person, not a list of qualities. Although if you're an MU fan, you'd have to be pretty convincing. 

    Outside of work I enjoy doing xyz...

     

     

    Oh, yes....that's much better!

  • Confidence my friend... Here's how I would rewrite:

    I'm a fun loving chick. I like to have fun and I have an awesome sense of humor. I enjoy hanging with my friends -- drinks after work, fire pits and beer in the driveway, concerts and ball games; those sorta things. I can be a bit sarcastic because I like keeping people on their toes!

    I'm looking for someone who is ready to be in a relationship, as that is where I am in this stage of my life. I want someone that makes me be a better person -- but embraces my independence. I know what I want and deserve in a partner and while I'm not willing to settle on mediocre, I might possibly consider dating a MU fan, but you might just have to work that much harder to win me over.

    I like
    to travel
    to watch KU sports
    country music
    rap music
    Twitter
    going on random road trips
    hot dogs at the K
    Sonic Dr Pepper
    finding a good deal
    decorating
    sleeping in on Saturdays
    hugging
    kissing
    McDonald's Sweet Tea
    laughing
    smiling
    texts from my best friend
    flying Southwest
    playing Words with Friends
    Skype/FaceTime
    peanut butter M&M's
    catching up with childhood friends
    Worlds of Fun (well I did in the 8th grade -- surely it's still cool now)
    going to the lake
    steaks off the grill
    the crispness of clean sheets on the bed
    when a guy smells good

    Pregnancy Ticker People are placed in and taken out of our lives for a multitude of reasons. My faith has me looking upward so I might stay on my path, forward to reach my future and to either side for the ones to walk near me on my journey.
  • imageDorisWE:
    imagepdx18:

    I don't like the use of "I think" it sounds too unsure. And using "chick" sounds a little rough around the edges. I've edited it below. Of course feel free to take it or leave it.

    I'm looking for someone to enjoy laid back times with, drinks after work, fire pits and beer in the driveway, concerts and ball games. My sarcastic humor keeps my friends on their toes, but I promise to take it easy on you, well on the first date at least.


    I'm a loyal partner and value someone who will make me a priority in his life and vise versa. I believe in an ideal partnership we make each other better versions of ourselves. I'm looking for a person, not a list of qualities. Although if you're an MU fan, you'd have to be pretty convincing. 

    Outside of work I enjoy doing xyz...

     

     

    Oh, yes....that's much better!

    Agreed!  Thanks PDX.  I pretty much c&p'd what you rewrote.  It's a much better version of what I started with.  I'll let you know how it works out :)

    *The only way to dream is big*
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