Starting Over
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Taking things slow re: dating

So, we all pretty much know that going 0-60 in a relationship usually leads to trouble. However, several of us have probably been guilty of doing this more than once, myself included. So, for those of you who have successfully entered into a relationship slow(ish), how did you do it, especially with someone you have amazing chemistry with? 

The guy from work I've mentioned a couple of times is amazing. I would venture to say I haven't ever felt that strong of a connection with anyone before. And to be honest it scares theshitout of me. We've been actually talking for about a month, but didn't actually go on a date until last week, and have since gotten together several times since. I really don't want to screw this up, but I have no clue what I'm doing since I have almost always gone too fast with these things. And I would like to keep my sanity intact as well Wink

I'd appreciate any advice you guys might have!  And I apologize now in case I end up having to post and run since things are a bit nuts at work lately.

**nestie formerly known as thegastons**

Re: Taking things slow re: dating

  • I spent the first few months of my relationship with now FI doing the things I really enjoyed, while enjoying spending time with him "on the side." Honestly, I just didn't invest a lot of myself in our relationship at first, I just let it naturally progress and went with the flow. I enjoyed our time together, but I also enjoyed the things I had built for myself as well. He also was on the same page as me so luckily we progressed at the same rate.

    A lot of times I just tried not to read too much into actions or words. I took them at face value and did what I thought was best for myself. I focused on being honest with myself and that helped keep me grounded.

  • What doglove said is pretty much how I'm approaching dating right now.  I'm making myself my first priority, doing the things I want to do, and if I find a guy to hang out with, I'll see how I can work him into my schedule, lol.
    The day I left was just my beginning.
  • Thanks for the feedback! I am still doing my own thing and then end up hanging out with him around that. I know its super early in the relationship, but I have a good feeling about this one - yes I know that's super cheesy, but whatev.

    I guess I'll continue taking it a day at a time and try to stay out of my head. As I mentioned in my WTF post, he's great at communicating, so I know we are on the same page - based on him bringing it up, not me for once.

    Why as women do we have to over think everything?

    **nestie formerly known as thegastons**
  • imagefarfalla2011:

    Why as women do we have to over think everything?

    This.  I know I'm a classic overthinker.  However I don't think that you can "mess things up".  I'm in the mindset now where I will do what feels right.  If I want to see him, I'll tell him that.  If I have things going on, then I know he'll understand.  I've been in situations where the other person pushed to go too fast too soon in every aspect of it.  In hindsight that was a huge red flag but at the time I went for it. 

    Try to just enjoy!  The one thing I do think needs the appropriate time and place is the physical.  I think if that gets pushed too soon it can lead to confusing emotions. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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