September 2008 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I'm starting to second-guess my wedding
Teehee...I just wanted to see if we could get a starred post on our board again.
No second thoughts about getting married or the man who will be my future husband!! Just starting to second guess our wedding "style"...
We wanted to have a small, intimate ceremony followed by a larger formal reception at his grandparent's place. Well...now that the reality of my student loans has kicked in, I'm feeling incredibly guilty about spending that kind of money on a wedding celebration. I know FF would be happy with an open-house style party to celebrate our marriage. Informal, causal, come as you are, go as you please type of event. It could even take place on another weekend from our wedding...it doesn't even have to be the same day. Food, drinks, yard games, music, bonfire, etc.
*sigh* I don't know what to do. I love the idea of another "real" wedding, but after it's all said and done the end result will still be the same. I'll be married to FF, who is amazing in every sort of way, and we'll be living our new life together. On the flip side, I don't know if I'll regret not doing the wedding I really wanted to have.
Any words of wisdom? Advice? Ideas on how we could do the causal affair but still have it feel like a wedding? All I can say is thank goodness it's a year away still!
Re: I'm starting to second-guess my wedding
well...we had a fairly formal (but 36 person and on a porch/beach) wedding followed by a backyard party a few weeks later that was fairly casual.
It worked out fine. We rented tents and tables for the party at our house and got catering and a couple of waitstaff. It was pretty come-and-go and we wore our dresses. If I had the space/money, I'd get a dance floor and make it a little more formal/organized.
ETA: I am glad we went this route and didn't spend more $, though a little part of me is sad I didn't ever go dress shopping.
Run away and get married.
Then come back and party!!
I think you and FF need to have a talk to see what you really want for/in a wedding? Are there certain things you HAVE to have to get married? Is there something FF really wants or do you both just want to be married?
A destination (even in Michigan) wedding might work for you both. Have a small intimate ceremony and reception. Then in a few months or whenever, have a bigger party.
Can you get help from friends and family members to do some things that might reduce the costs?
Yes, time is on your side!! I know it is easier said than done but try not to stress too much. I know it will work out in the end :-)
I think this is really ok. You could do candles instead of flowers, folding instead of "nice" chairs, etc and save a bunch. You could also do those glass look plates instead of china. Not perfect but way cheaper.
Of course, if all of that would only save $1k, I don't know if I'd skip them.
I did plastic china, plastic silver silverware and plastic wine glasses. Also did disposable linens. If I can remember the website, I'll get it to you. If you look at my wedding pictures, you really can't tell that it's all, except centerpieces, disposable.
**ETA** www.partyatlewis.com
I am sure there are ways to have the wedding you want on the bugdet you want
Honestly, you dont need much to dress any place up! His grandparents farm sounds awesome!
Candles and mason jars & wild flowers - lots of them can really dress up any table. You could look for paper lantern lights in clearance sections. You have time to research rental places: ie. can you negotiate with them ... you do the set up and they reduce the price? Rent the chairs but not the covers?
Can you make your own cake?
what about having everything on a friday? if it's a smaller ceremony you wouldn't be asking too many people to take time off / travel and then for those coming to the reception, it would be easy for them to come at night.
Get creative! I went to a wedding last summer where the place cards were written on paint sample cards ... it took me a while to figure it out and I loved them! The colors were spot on too
Is there anything that your fellow S08 ladies can help with? Help shop and send you items? Help with stationary? etc. Ha, or you know we'd all come and be your waitstaff, photographers, and personal assistants too - just say the word!
I would eliminate wait staff, and assigned seating.
My reception was a buffett, self serve. And I never understood the concept of a seating chart. Everyone is an adult and able to seat themselves. However, I do sorta understand if your families don't know each other and aren't able to mingle and get to know people easily.
Here's a picture of my tables.
The silverware, glasses, tablecloths, and napkins are disposable.
I think what you need to do is really think about what you want. If you truly want the wedding and think you would regret not doing, then do it. It sounds like you can afford it, but are just feeling bad about spending the money when you don't have to (I feel that way every time we spend lots of money on a vacation, even though it's something I really want and can afford).
There are some great tips in this thread already. I will say that the only thing I regret not spending money on for out wedding was the photographer. One of Matt's uncle's is a pro and did it as our gift (and gave us an edited cd to make prints), but since he isn't a pro wedding photographer, he was nearly as attentive as I would have liked and missed a lot of shots I wanted. Everything else that we cut back on (no florist, free family DJ, disposable tableware, cash bar, no favors, minimal decor) I do not regret at all. Basically, find what is most important to you and spend your money there.
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Ditto alot of this. If you want the wedding you have so far bee planning, only do it if you won't have regrets. If you decide to downsize, I think that is fine. Have your small cermony and dinner with close family and friends, then have your BBQ "reception" the next day or later. I think as long as people are having a good time, no one will care if you have CPs or fine china.
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Yes tablecloths, napkins and runners.They were like very thick, soft paper towel. I honestly had some many people amazed that they were disposable and not real linens. If I still have some in my wedding crap in the basement, I'll send you a sample. How's that sound?
That would be awesome! I'll PM you my address