Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Intro
Hi ladies,
I just wanted to say hi really quick and introduce myself to you all. I didn't even realize this board existed until recently and I'm kind of happy about having a place to go to. I enjoy posting on TN but sometimes feel a little bit like a phony since my nest now consists of me and my fur babies. Most of my friends are either just getting married or have no experience in this, so it's nice to know that there's a place out there to go if I need support.
XH and I split up in September/October of last year after having been married for nearly 3 years. It was semi mutual (although the process was started by myself). We're on decent terms, but that's probably more because we don't speak at all due to 3,000 miles between us and a decision for space when we moved out. In the process of filing paperwork without a lawyer (we already split all our assets down the middle on our own). Things should be official by August-ish.
Re: Intro
Welcome! I was relieved to find this board too, so I understand that feeling.
If you don't mind sharing, what led to your breakup? There are all types of reasons on this board, so no matter your reason, I'm sure there is someone who can relate.
Thanks for the welcome!
I guess our breakup is like all others, complicated. I'll try to make this as short as possible.
I'm a psychology graduate student and I am required to go to therapy as part of my program. While there I started to realize some things about myself and himself that were affecting our relationship and causing problems. I told him I wanted to go to couples counseling because I was feeling bad about these problems and it was causing me to question whether or not our relationship could withstand them without us getting frustrated/resentful over time. He was caught really off guard as he thought things were "perfect" when in reality I had brought them up several times before and always brushed it off for one reason or another, and after about a month of trying to find a therapist things deteriorated really quickly. He got angry and nasty so I also started to question whether I loved him or loved the fact that he took care of me emotionally. One day he came home and said, "I don't see us 100% succeeding at this, you are not the person I thought you were, I don't see what the point is anymore. I think we should get divorced" A month later he got a job within his company on the East Coast (where we're originally from) and he moved out.
A lot of people were shocked because we really did have a good relationship. Personally I think things moved way too quickly (two months from start to finish) and a huge part of me does believe that if we were both committed to counseling it would have worked out because we were always very respectful towards each other and committed to taking care of one another. But he gives up on EVERYTHING in life that requires more than minimal effort if he thinks he might fail, so if he couldn't even be bothered to try to work on our relationship, then there really is no point.
Tea Time for Lulu
I recognize you too! I'll definitely stick around, although I'll probably work up to posting more over time. Grad school student schedule and all.
Tea Time for Lulu