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Deployment with no support system
::Pointless vent::
DH's deployment is getting close & it is hitting me how hard this is going to be. He just got back from 1 month of training and it was a not-so-nice glimpse of the future!
I have no support system here. Family is far & even though we have been here 9 months we haven't really made any friends (we try but just haven't found anyone that clicks). We live 35 min from base so I don't really see/socialize with other military wives. I tried joining the military mom group but it is full of drama that I have no interest in!
I have no idea how I'm going to handle being with DD 24/7 with no help! I'm a SAHM now but DH takes her when I need some downtime. We also just found out we are pregnant again (yay!) but how the heck am I going to do all the dr appts with a toddler in tow?!
I looked into getting a mother's helper 2 days a week for a few hours but the cheapest one I found is just over $500 a month. Blah! Obviously DHs pay goes up during deployment but we just found out we are losing our renters so that income will be gone cancelling it all out.
No point to this but after having a hard week of teething, sleepless nights, and fun toddler tantrums I'm freaking out! 
And being pg I can't have my relaxing glass of wine after DD goes to bed!! 
:
Anyone else go through deployment with essentially no support system in place? Tips?
Re: Deployment with no support system
What branch of service are you?
I'm not familiar with the other branches, but I know AF CDCs have a "mom's day off" program where you can drop your kids off at the CDC for a full day. I know it's not much help as far as getting some R&R and regrouping, but if you could schedule your doctors appointments for that day, I'm sure that'd help out a little bit.
Do you have friends or family who would be willing to schedule visits to come see you and the kids? Or could you start planning trips home to see your family? Does your town have civilian MOPS groups?
I know it's probably not much consolation right now, but somehow, you'll get through this. We all do, one way or another. The time leading up to the deployment is the most stressful with all the "what ifs," but once your H is in his location and you have your own routine going, things just seem to fall into place.
If you get comfortable around here and you're willing to tell us what base you're at, maybe you could meet up with another MNer. That's how I found my best friends.
I do have some trips to see friends lined up during the time (unfortunately both families are not really interested in helping...whole other story!). There is a MOPS group supposedly in San Antonio but I've emailed them a few times with no response! I've never struggled to meet new friends but this town is hard for some reason.
I feel horrible for wishing that these next few weeks would just fly by. I hate deployment (obviously) but I just want him gone so I can start the countdown to him coming home!! I was doing so good until this past month training!
Love my kiddo but she is driving me batty!
This is the calendar for Give Parents a Break at Lackland CDC: http://www.lacklandfss.com/child_development.html I'm bummed that they're all evenings/weekends, because that doesn't do much to help you out with your doctors appointments.
If your H is going on a big rotation (doesn't sound like it, based on the training I think he's at) there will be a key spouse. My key spouse was able to send out an email to the other spouses in my squadron for me seeking puppy play dates, so that may be an option for you to advertise that you are looking for a playmate for your kid. If that goes well, you could take turns watching another kid in exchange for them watching yours while you do your appointments, grab some coffee in peace, etc.
I feel for you.
I would see if your base has a PlayPass Program. It's a card that gives you all sorts of freebees while your H is deployed. I got one and it comes with childcare I think its 20ish hrs- but we have no kids so I wasn't able to use that part.
I can agree with the "leave so I can start looking forward to you coming home." I am that way too, which H doesn't like so much.
They should have hourly care, you would have to pay but it is an option. Also look into the play pass like another person mentioned.
The Dogs and Us
I actually just went through this, so I feel for you. You will get through it though. We had been through a few deployments before, but this was the first with a little one. Once we got into our own little routine, it was so much easier.
My family lives on the opposite coast and I don't have any close friends here, but quite a few acquaintances from previous co-workers to other mil spouses. I went to playgroups with other military wives often even though I never really click with any of them. My 19 month old daughter loved playing with the other kids.
I also took advantage of "Give Parents a Break" once a month. Going shopping without having to wrangle a toddler was so nice. I went to a few of the families apart dinners too. The Airman and Family Readiness Center has quite a bit of helpful info, so I definitely recommend talking to them.
Things to do to make friends:
1) Join a church. Church shop unitl you find one that fits your needs.
2) Contact your Airman Family Readiness Center. They have tons of resources. I know that at least two of the three last bases we were at had AFRC sponsored programs for Mommy and Me on top of the Mommy Day Out program.
3) Not sure if you have a Family Advocacy type program, but I used them a ton when Monkey was younger. I did all of the parenting classes, not just for new information or support but to meet other Moms.
4) If the MOPS coordinator is not answering, it could be that the information is old. I have been to two different MOPS groups where this happened when there was a change over in the board. Contact the church/MTF directly.
However, there are 10 MOPS groups listed for the San Antonio Area.
5) Go to the local libraries. There are always baby/toddler programs available.
6) MeetUp.com is a great org. I met some great friends at Eglin through MeetUp.
7) Local YMCA?
8) Finally, I created my own group. I posted something on my Church's bulletin board (it was a smaller church that didnt offer too much for kids) and took it from their.
Here is the other thing you can do. Does your base, squadron or flight have a facebook page? You can look into some baby-sitting swapping?
Our MOPS group actually organized that for our deployed moms.