Starting Over
LookingUp
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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Non-Clicky Poll: How do you feel about
One night stands? This comes purely from curiosity. If you met a guy, had crazy chemistry, and thought you might never see him again, would you relish the chance to jump his bones, or would you feel that it wouldn't be worth it? And how many one night stands (if any) are too many?
Also, you can assume that you have known this man for longer than just a few hours before doing the deed. Maybe you met by chance one night, texted/talked over the course of several days or weeks, and had the chance to get together at a later date.
Re: Non-Clicky Poll: How do you feel about
Nice LookingUp!! Sounds like story time to me.
Spill it girl!!!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Did any of them break your mirror and throw you into a fit of rage?
JM!! I already said this is purely from curiosity!
Not that there isn't something going on behind the scenes right now...
I think the most important thing is that YOU feel okay about it. Some exceptions where restraint could be good if it has the potential to be awkward later, mutual friends, co-workers, etc.
Although intent is good to. Like think to yourself, "Am I hooking up with this person because I want there is crazy chemistry and it will super hot?" versus "Am I lonely and in need of male attention."
Been there and had them, some are better memories than others. Sure, in the right situation I would do it again but I'm far more picky than I was in my younger years so those "perfect" scenarios don't present very often.
In reality if I meet someone I think I have great chemistry with now, I'm thinking to myself "I'd like this to go somewhere!" and a ONS isn't the way to accomplish that, but if that happened in say, another city and we would never meet again then maybe I would just go for it.
OMG, JM. This took me a minute to get....And now I am dying. Literally. Gasping for air, laughing hysterically, with tears streaming down my face. Thanks for making me look like an asshat in my office!
And, the breaking of the mirror did not throw me into a fit of rage, it was the fact that he laughed! Get your effin story straight!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I do agree with this.
Honestly though, since I left H I have found that I'm really not lonely. I'm actually more apprehensive that a hookup may want to stay the night, whereas I greatly enjoy sleeping diagonally across my bed.
I also believe that I would be a person to regret more the chances in life I didn't take, rather than the chances I did.
I would feel the urge but I won't do a one night stand as it is not a risk I am willing to take.
Do you mean physical risks, like STDs and whatnot? Or something else?
Bahahwhwhahahahaah....I couldnt resist!!
There will be future references to "Mirrorgate" in the future. Fo sho..lol
Haha! I figured, was just trying to call you out but I failed miserably!!
I don't think there is a correct number for too many. Really, as long as it is between consenting adults and protected, have at it!
I don't consider this a one night stand.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. My Blog
Actually, the scenario I've got in mind is far more likely to be semi-regular, not a ONS at all. I was just curious about others' opinions on the topic.
I think, as long as everyone's safe and comfortable and on the same page, one night stands are awesome. Have hundreds! I don't care!
But if you're not safe or comfortable or on the same page, it's going to turn into a messive sh!!tstorm. You've really gotta be honest with yourself about this.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
If he wears cowboy boots, I approve!
I agree with the PPs who said as long as you're comfortable with the situation and you are safe, go for it!
I've had a couple ONSs since I left H, and I have to say that for the most part, it's been a rather empowering experience. These days, I'm all about being confident in my sexuality. If that means a ONS or FWB, then that's what it is right now. In my mind, there's no right or wrong way to do things as long as you feel good and aren't deliberately hurting anybody.
No. You can get HPV and herpes even with a condom.
For the "too many" question, in what context? Too many for me to consider dating someone, too many for me, too many to be friends with someone, or too many for me to refrain from a Flanders finger-wag at a stranger?
I don't have a problem with it, but I haven't done it very often. If I'm attracted to someone enough to make the effort, it usually ends up being more like a "few nights" stand or a "whenever you happen to be in town" stand. There are definitely guys I'm into physically that I know have no long-term potential. And apparently I'm something of a devassa.
It's definitely more a part of the culture here, and I have to admit I'm not really down with it. The stereotypical hook-up here is basically making eyes at a guy 30 minutes before the bar closes, and then you go have sex, and then that's it. Leave that night or the next morning, but it doesn't go anywhere. And everyone's just okay with it.
I am definitely not okay having sex with someone I met less than an hour earlier. I have no problem with those who are, but it's NMS.
If its something you want to do then go for it. I had a few one night stands before I met my stbxh but they always left me feeling empty and like trash. You are a grown adult and if you have mad chemistry and want to screw his brains out, then do it. I won't be having any one night stands, but that's just me.
I am a Debbie Downer when it comes to this kind of thing.
They are just not for me. I am all for a hot and heavy make out session though.