Sex & Romance
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Newlywed lack of sex
HELP!
Both of us are master students who are extremely busy. However, DH still wants sex, while I cannot be bothered. I know I should want sex, and Lord knows i want to get off, but finding the energy/reason for sex really is hard. BTW, I have (recently) had recently had a horrible time getting off from sex, but not from my own "special" time
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. ~Amy Bloom
Re: Newlywed lack of sex
First off, open a new account with a screen name, not an email addy.
You are leaving yourself wide open for spammers, scammers, spambots and other unsavories.
There's lots of reason for a low or zero libido: certain meds can do it; so can oral birth control pills. Do any of these meds apply to you? if so, speak to your doc; get your meds changed. Then see if your libido improves.
Second of all, have you spoken to your spouse?
The key to any relationship is communication.
If you aren't happy with your sex life -- or if you're very satisfied with it -- speak to your spouse. Express your concern and do it in a positive way that does not pin the rose on him or pin the rose on him. ("Honey, you're hot and I'd love it if we could have more sex --- how can we do this together, being we're both busy?" See what ideas he comes up with)
Since you're both a couple of busy students, find time for each other -- make dates.:) Even if it's something as "ordinary" as having a video and pizza night or having a romantic night in; set up a bubble bath,. make some appetizers, supply some wine and music and then let nature take its course.
Touch yourself while having sex with your husband. Don't get stuck in the rut of "Since it is sex with my husband, he is solely responsible for my orgasm." That goes nowhere fast.
I second the motion for you to get a new user name.
Anywhooo... it seems to me that there is a correlation between sex and feeling good about who you are. Are you stressed, overweight, depressed, etc...???
Is there an underlying issue in your marriage that hasn't been talked about or dealt with?
I agree with PP--if you haven't talked to your husband about this, do it. Like yesterday. It will at least get the ball rolling and you two can try to solve this together.
And finally, once you get to the point where you want sex again, remember that it's so much more than just wanting to "get off"--that will set you up for the mundane, the ordinary, the repetitive...find other ways that sex will benefit you and your husband besides orgasm.