Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Weak days
How do you all handle weak days? I have been doing so well lately and I have had some really terrific and genuine good days. I love the life that I have for myself but today has been a really rough one. I actually was crying earlier because I miss my ex and part of me wants him back. I won't ever take that cheating and abusive jerk but emotionally I am still struggling with this. Logically I know he is a douchebag and a giant man child who was never committed to the marriage and never really showed me that he loved me. I next counseling appointment is on Monday, but I could use any encouragement or insight that any of you might have.
Re: Weak days
Tea Time for Lulu
I mirror your sentiments. I absolutely do not want to get back together with my XH, but I also really miss him sometimes. I think those feelings hang around for a long time, but I can tell you that it gets better and better with time.
This. Isolating yourself makes it harder to pull out of the funk. Also I carry around a book I've been reading "Getting Past Your Breakup" and I have certain parts that really resonate with me flagged. I pull it out and reread when needed. A couple of things that help me: 1) Always keep the focus on you 2) You get what you put up with (yes, yes, yes!) 3) Reject the rejector 4) Does it hurt when you do that? Don't do that! (this is in reference to looking at his Facebook, etc,) 5) Be good to yourself! It also encourages journaling - so write out the things that are in your head that you'd love to say to him, just don't ever send it! It's a relief to get it out of your head and onto paper sometimes. Hope your bad time ends soon.
I've been watching episodes of Frasier on Netflix, and in one of the first episodes a woman called in and said she couldn't get over her ex, that she felt like she was in mourning. So, forgive the hokey armchair psychology, but he told the woman she wasn't mourning the man, she was mourning the life she thought she was going to have. As cheesy as it sounds, I've found it to be true.
I think that even though you've been creating an awesome life for yourself, you still married someone with the expectation that you would be together for a long time. For me, my moments (days) of weakness come when I think about how I thought things were going to turn out for me and my STBXH. I have to give myself a reality check and remember how things actually were. It also helps to spend time with friends/people who will lovingly slap some sense into you.