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Need to vent - no end in sight!!!
So, last Friday I had a hearing on custody and visitation. It was supposed to be the end of it all. However, since Ex is a big 'ole loser and couldn't pay his attorney, she withdrew from the case before this hearing. He's now pro se and it was the biggest fu$king nightmare EVER!
The judge stopped the hearing after about a half hour of Ex's pointless rambling as he attempted to represent himself, and decided that she's going to appoint an attorney to represent our DD since she doesn't want to make a decision on custody herself. She ordered me to pay $3000 for this attorney and for Ex to pay $1500. Why? Because I went to college and worked my butt off to have a good career, and Ex is a loser who doesn't even work 40 hours a week. Mind you, I have DD all but 8 hours a week and I get next to nothing in child support. I am so pissed off!!!! Oh, and then my idiot Ex sat there and argued with the judge so he got kicked out of the courtroom. At least that part was amusing.
So, our next status date is June 20th and there's no end in sight to this mess. This has already been going on for a year now and we're only dealing with custody and visitation issues (we weren't married so we're not fighting over marital property or anything else).
I need the strength to keep going.
Re: Need to vent - no end in sight!!!
Oh no. Im so sorry!
Is there any way to contest the judge's order? That seems like BS. Isn't there a way to get an attorney appointed pro bono for your daughter. We have a system here in CA for that I know.....
I make too much to get a pro bono attorney. However, I am by no means rich and I don't have $3000 just lying around. Ugh. I'll ask my attorney if we can somehow appeal the amounts she ordered us to pay when I speak to him next. I'm sure I'm just going to have to pay because that's what the judge ordered.
I'm sorry, that sucks. D is currently going through something similar... He pays child support, but she's taking him back for more even though he pays for everything and I mean everything... private school tuition, lunches, school activities, tutors and the majority of their clothing. They are 12 and 15 so daycare isn't a factor.
It's just because I'm in the picture and not because it's in the best interest of the girls and that's the sad/frustrating part. She's also trying to pit the girls against D. She really needs a big punch in the vagina.
Amen, Achase! Amen!!!!
I took xh back to court because he's been in and out of DS life, and DS started showing major signs of regression and anxiety. I was asking for a GAL to investigate.
The judge ordered xh to see DS counselor (and pay for it) and then to go to counseling WITH DS with a different counselor - some kind of expert on separation and reunification - AND ordered me to pay half. WTF. I was so mad! We wouldn't be in this situation if he could just be a father and be consistent with DS. Seriously, the guy has spent a grand total of 42 hours with DS in the past two YEARS. And I have to pay half the cost for him to get back into DS life? Whatevs.
And also, the whole reason he left in the first place (18 months) is that he was running from the warrant that the state put on him for non payment of CS.
We have a flawed system indeed!
I'm not paying for a lawyer for him. He still doesn't have one. The lawyer the judge is appointing is supposed to represent our DD (my lawyer tried to crack a joke and say that DD is only 17 months old and has her first attorney...not funny, dude! I'm footing the bill!). However, I'm still pissed beyond all belief that I have to pay twice as much as him! The reason I make more money is because I have worked hard and done the right things to get where I am. So in essence, I'm being penalized for having the sense to be a responsible person and having the ability to support our DD. I don't have $1500 lying around, let alone $3000.
Yes we do! Sorry to hear about your situation. That majorly blows too!