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Is it a normal thing today for men to expect sex on the first date?
I was married 3 years and dated my ex for 8 years. I have not been on a date in about 8 years or so. Now that I'm single in my early 30s and starting to date again. I was wondering what are some of the things that I should expect on dates? Like who pays? sex on first date? Where to go for a first date?
2 weeks a guy asked me out to dinner. we we communicating via text for about 2 weeks prior before he asked me out. I work in the city and he lives in the city. I live about an hour outside the city. We had a nice dinner in the city 2 blocks from where he lives. but I was very nervous and timid at times. I didn't get the impression that he was looking for anything serious. He was younger than me. He told me that Im welcomed to sleep over if I wanted to because he knows i live far and that I had to work early the next morning. I turned down the offer at first. I called a friend and consulted and she advise me to go home and not stay over. We went back to his place after 2 glass of wine. I started rethinking about the drive home. So I decided to stay with no intention of having sex with him cause I had not shaved my legs for that exact purpose. But he lived 15 minutes from my workplace and that was good for me. I slept with my clothes on, blouse and jeans.
We ended up making out most of the night and lots of foreplay and no sex. the next day I put on work clothes , we kissed and I left. The following day i texted him and thanked him for dinner and everything. He replied with simple "you welcome".
I never got a 2nd date. I never heard from him again. What did I do wrong? Should I've slept with him? I don't want to mess up another date with another guy.
Re: Is it a normal thing today for men to expect sex on the first date?
You DO NOT sleep with someone unless YOU are comfortable with the idea. It is not a payment for a date. Split the bill.
You should have gone home. Call a cab or your BFF to come get you.
you wouldn't have heard from him if you had slept with him. That i can guarantee.
Dont have sex with someone solely to keep 'Em around or as a way to ensure they'll call you again. Because it doesn't work that way and you'll end up with not much more then many many notches on your bed post.
Now, if your horny as hell and just want sex, then do what you gotta do but sex =/= a call back.
I have to believe you're smarter than that.
The good guys want an independent woman who knows when and why she wants sex or anything else. Nothing is hotter that a woman who wants to be with you because she likes sex, trusts you and finds you attractive. Nothing is scarier than to feel like she is coming on to you out of some emotional insecurity. Only immature asswipes will seek out the latter. This guy was never going to call you back, no matter what you did.
Be true to yourself. Make it clear exactly what you want and when you want it. I promise, the men worth being with will find this irresistable.
That sh!t cray!
No, it's not normal.
Lots of guys dont call or text for several weeks, but I wouldnt worry about it. There are lots of guys out there and you dont need to sleep with them all to find the right one for you. As a PP said dont do it unless you want to. If paying for dinner means sex then the guy has a great racket. Thats cheaper then a call girl....
This was my only question, too.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
It's normal for douches to expect sex on a first date; a quality guy, no.
Don't EVER have sex with anyone unless you really, really want to.
I made my DH wait for 3 months before we did the deed.
Ditto. I also don't think this guy is automatically an "immature asswipe" for not calling. He's not obligated to be into someone and want a second date.
No, I don't think men expect sex on first dates. Most will let you know it's an option and are willing - if you are. If you want to, it's basically your option. I think it may be fun but tends to make those relationships very hot but not very deep or long-lived. Maybe not. All kinds of things seems to work for all kinds of people.
Honestly, I think your mistake was letting the date drag on too long. A nice dinner, good conversation, maybe some sparks is a great first date. It makes you (both) want more. Calling friends for advice, lingering at his apartment, heavy petting, sleeping in your clothes, parting in the morning - kind of kills the romance. Give yourself a chance to shine and get to know someone at their best (and yours) and let the fun of dating build.
Also, if you have dinner and don't hear back, you haven't invested much and you can brush it off. Sleeping with someone or spending a long, non-sex night with someone really shakes your confidence when they don't call again. Know yourself and what you want. Don't put how you feel about yourself or what you want in someone else's hands.
I probably should have gone home. This will not happen again.
Yes I left his ass couple months ago. But in my heart I left a long time ago. He didn't try to stop me or anything.
I don't think we hit off I was too nervous. I think I was pushing myself to get out there and meet people. I did want to have sex too but the fact that he made so obvious that's what he was after turn me off.
No I did not wear the same clothes. I had work clothes with me.
Thank you so much for your advice. I completely agree.
You didn't shave your legs but you packed a change of clothes?
Something is amiss.
Have some self respect. You've only been single a few months. Try not dating for a while.
That night I had plans to go stay over at a friend's house who lives 30 minutes away. I didn't pack to stay at his place. I want to date now, my therapist thinks I should also start dating now.
A male friend told me the same thing. I heard 1 out 8 men expects sex on the first date.
You probably want to stick with the other 7 out of 8, then. They sound less skeevy.