Trouble in Paradise
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Have we discussed this yet?

http://www.newser.com/story/142702/moms-article-about-obese-kids-diet-sparks-fury.html

In a nutshell:

Mom takes 7yo daughter to doctor. She's 4'4", 93lbs. Dr. tells mom that 7yo is clinically obese. Mom begins a year-long struggle to make her daughter lose 16lbs. Highlights include:

Denying her daughter a cupcake at a birthday party, while secretly eating TWO cupcakes herself.

Denying her daughter dinner one night after finding out that she had eaten 800 calories of Brie, Filet Mignon, Baguette, and chocolate in a celebration of French Heritage Day at school.

After child loses 16lbs, she tells Vogue Magazine that she's the same person. Mom says "No you aren't, that fat kid is gone." (paraphrased) Child cries.

Nowhere in here did she mention teaching her daughter to exercise. Pretty much just lays the foundations for an unhealthy relationship with food.

Also, at some point, Mom also tells the story about berating a Starbucks barista for not knowing how many calories were in a kid's hot chocolate, then "dramatically" snatches it from her daughter, pours it in the trash, and flounces out of the store.

Indifferent

Image and video hosting by TinyPic "Mom's Hot Dog Dance is hysterical."

Re: Have we discussed this yet?

  • I predict the poor kid will be anorexic in no time.  I guess teaching exercise and fattening foods in moderation is too much work for the mom.
  • imagejulie324:
    I predict the poor kid will be anorexic in no time.  I guess teaching exercise and fattening foods in moderation is too much work for the mom.

    Or have a compulsive food addiction that will compound what is already a slower than average metabolism.

  • My mom was similar to this. She kept anything deemed as "junk" food in a locked box. She obsessed over me becoming fat. When I grew some curves in high school, she grounded me from bathing suits. My mom was smart enough to keep her BSC contained to the house though. It didn't stop me from having an unhealthy relationship with food or terrible body image though, both of which I still struggle with today. 

    I don't think my mom was trying to be mean. She grew up in an environment in which her only redeeming quality was her looks, and in her own misguided way she was trying to help me. There was a time in my 20s when I hated her for it, but I made peace with her mistakes eventually. If I have a daughter one day, I'll do things very differently. 

    This is my siggy.
  • This makes me sad.

    I wonder if it was ever explained to the daughter why her eating habits suddenly needed to change.  And if it was, if it was more than just, "Well, you're fat."  It's hard explaining these issues to a 7 year old, but she deserves to know why she all of a sudden can't have a cupcake.  This poor girl is going to need to learn about nutrition and moderation.  I hope she figures out a better way than the numerous eating disorders she's bound to struggle with.

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  • The mom is a little crazy, but I think it's too easy to pin all the blame on her. We have a really messed up collective relationship with food, exercise, and body shape. Focusing on this mother feels a little like mocking the parents on Toddlers in Tiaras while we encourage our own daughters to have princess parties. It's just the logical extreme of a seriously troubling tendency we all fight with varying degrees of success.
  • imageNevtali:
    The mom is a little crazy, but I think it's too easy to pin all the blame on her. We have a really messed up collective relationship with food, exercise, and body shape. Focusing on this mother feels a little like mocking the parents on Toddlers in Tiaras while we encourage our own daughters to have princess parties. It's just the logical extreme of a seriously troubling tendency we all fight with varying degrees of success.

    I think the biggest problem is the way she went about it.  For example, if I needed to help my kid lose weight, I wouldn't be going to Starbucks with them in tow to get myself something (let alone a hot chocolate for them).  I would set a better example with something like a natural fruit smoothie. 

    It's easy to just tell your kid no, they can't have this or that.  It's difficult to explain moderation so the child can enjoy a cupcake or pizza friday without overindulging.  This little didn't learn anything (at least that's how it sounds) besides her mom is mean and won't let her have anything fun.

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  • imageBowiesInSpace:
    I don't think my mom was trying to be mean. She grew up in an environment in which her only redeeming quality was her looks, and in her own misguided way she was trying to help me. There was a time in my 20s when I hated her for it, but I made peace with her mistakes eventually. If I have a daughter one day, I'll do things very differently. 
    I think this is a good thing to look at here.  It's flammable but in the grand scheme, I think it would be better for the mom to try and reform her morbidly obese child's diet in a completely f*cked up way, than just let her stay morbidly obese as so many parents do.  At least the kid isn't dying of diabetes-related complications by the time she's 20.

    I think it's also super weird that this is featured in Vogue.  I mean, what's the angle here?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Maybe I'm on crack but 93lbs and 4'4 sounds a little chubby, not fat, like the kind of chubby that evens out with a growth spurt or too, not the kind that you send a kid off to fat camp for.

    Not that I'd send my kid to fat camp but you know.

    I hate people like this. Kids should eat healthy period, not only eat healthy when their getting fat.

    Also, I want filet mignon.



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  • imagealexisanna44:

    imageNevtali:
    The mom is a little crazy, but I think it's too easy to pin all the blame on her. We have a really messed up collective relationship with food, exercise, and body shape. Focusing on this mother feels a little like mocking the parents on Toddlers in Tiaras while we encourage our own daughters to have princess parties. It's just the logical extreme of a seriously troubling tendency we all fight with varying degrees of success.

    I think the biggest problem is the way she went about it.  For example, if I needed to help my kid lose weight, I wouldn't be going to Starbucks with them in tow to get myself something (let alone a hot chocolate for them).  I would set a better example with something like a natural fruit smoothie. 

    It's easy to just tell your kid no, they can't have this or that.  It's difficult to explain moderation so the child can enjoy a cupcake or pizza friday without overindulging.  This little didn't learn anything (at least that's how it sounds) besides her mom is mean and won't let her have anything fun.

    Of course she went about it the wrong way. I'm just saying that it's fun to criticize, but she's representative of a larger problem. When we focus on the crazies, it's easy to ignore how messed up the rest of us are. I like feeling superior as much as the next person (believe me, I really really do), but it's not like the rest of the world is doing so well at this whole moderation thing.

  • imageNevtali:
    The mom is a little crazy, but I think it's too easy to pin all the blame on her. We have a really messed up collective relationship with food, exercise, and body shape. Focusing on this mother feels a little like mocking the parents on Toddlers in Tiaras while we encourage our own daughters to have princess parties. It's just the logical extreme of a seriously troubling tendency we all fight with varying degrees of success.

    This makes no sense to me. Surely you realize society is made up of individuals, yes?

    And really, princess parties are the enemy?



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  • imagehindsight's_a_biotch:

    Maybe I'm on crack but 93lbs and 4'4 sounds a little chubby, not fat, like the kind of chubby that evens out with a growth spurt or too, not the kind that you send a kid off to fat camp for.

    Not that I'd send my kid to fat camp but you know.

    I hate people like this. Kids should eat healthy period, not only eat healthy when their getting fat.

    Also, I want filet mignon.

    I went ahead and assumed the doctor knew what he/she was talking about (though if it were my kid I would not assume). 

    I'd also like a filet mignon.  I think I'll put it on the menu for the week.

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  • But doctors don't always know what they're talking about.

    Secondly, judging by this heifer's extreme overreaction, it's highly possible, even likely that the doctor was like, well, technically your daughter is overweight so we'll want to keep an eye on her, see if it even outs, and all mom heard was YOUR KID IS A FUUKING ELEPHANT, DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!



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  • imagejulie324:
    I predict the poor kid will be anorexic in no time.  I guess teaching exercise and fattening foods in moderation is too much work for the mom.

    You are basing this on just the items cited above or did you have access to the whole article? Because if these are the only things that happenned over the course of a year with a mother and her daughter who was clinically obese, I think it's an extreme view point that this will make the kid anorexic. I mean is it really a big deal she was denied a cupcake at a birthday party?  America obviously has a major problem with obesity. In other healthier countries, parents routinely tell their kids if they are putting on a few pounds (and no one takes offense), but in the US if you do, it's a tragedy. Call a kid skinny all day though. It's such a double standard. And in terms of keeping kids healthy - America is doing it wrong. I'm guessing most of the backlash from this article was not from parents who have a good grip on what truly healthy eating means. I'm not defending the mother. I definitely think she could have gone about this differently / better, but the extreme backlash is ridic IMO.

  • I'm shocked that there are people on here who are all "well, maybe this mother didn't do things perfectly, but at least the kid won't be OMGWTFFAT!!!1!"  I expect this kind of fatphobic jackassery from P&CE, but here?  I'm shocked and disappointed.
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  • imageReturnOfKuus:
    I'm shocked that there are people on here who are all "well, maybe this mother didn't do things perfectly, but at least the kid won't be OMGWTFFAT!!!1!"  I expect this kind of fatphobic jackassery from P&CE, but here?  I'm shocked and disappointed.

    Except that I'm willing to bet money the kid will be fat. Mom spent a year shaming this kid for looking twice at tasty food. If you add that to a slower metabolism, you're pretty much guaranteeing a comfort eater with self esteem issues.

     



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  • That girlmwouldn't be getting out psychologically unscathed regardless with that overreaction. Though I'll totally cop to not thinking through the BMI math like at all. I assumed she was heart attack and die before she can legally drink.obese, not thanksgiving pants wearing obese.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I based my original response just on the summary.  I am kind of stuck on the wrong things.  I am stuck on the mom denying the daughter a cupcake and then having 2 herself.  I will be amazed if the daughter does not end up with some form of eating disorder.
  • I'm sorry - there is nothing remotely justifiable about any of those examples and I think a reaction of disgust at this mother are perfectly merited. 

    Teach your children moderation. Teach them to make good choices. Teach them how to choose and cook whole foods. Stop bringing processed crap into the house. Recognize that banning all things yummy is likely only going to ensure you've got a kid, who the moment they are out of the house, are finding ways to gorge on chips, candy and McD's. Make better choices yourself. Create enthusiasm for preparing and cooking real food. Don't buy into the notion that eating well is a privilege only available to the wealthy. Spend time being active together and make it fun. Praise your kids for their skills, not appearance. BE A PARENT.

    None of those simple solutions will cause your young daughter to develop attitudes about food every bit as unhealthy as being overweight is.


     

  • imagehindsight's_a_biotch:

    imageNevtali:
    The mom is a little crazy, but I think it's too easy to pin all the blame on her. We have a really messed up collective relationship with food, exercise, and body shape. Focusing on this mother feels a little like mocking the parents on Toddlers in Tiaras while we encourage our own daughters to have princess parties. It's just the logical extreme of a seriously troubling tendency we all fight with varying degrees of success.

    This makes no sense to me. Surely you realize society is made up of individuals, yes?

    And really, princess parties are the enemy?

    Maybe I didn't say it very well. There's a common tendency, when dealing with a problem, to express outrage at the extreme versions of it. The energy we spend on that outrage lets us pretend we don't have the same problem to a lesser extent. The Toddlers in Tiaras/princess party thing was an example; do you not see the connection between encouraging our daughters to be princesses and dressing them up for beauty pageants? The point was not that princess parties are the WORST THING EVER, but that mocking the parents on Toddlers in Tiaras lets us feel superior and avoid thinking about whether we do similar, less extreme things. In the same way, directing our outrage at this woman helps us forget that many of us will teach our children to hate their bodies in less crazy ways, often with the best of intentions. So the outrage bothers me, not because of the hypocrisy, but because it distracts from the milder but more pervasive forms of the problem.

  • imagehindsight's_a_biotch:

    Maybe I'm on crack but 93lbs and 4'4 sounds a little chubby, not fat, like the kind of chubby that evens out with a growth spurt or too, not the kind that you send a kid off to fat camp for.

    Not that I'd send my kid to fat camp but you know.

    I hate people like this. Kids should eat healthy period, not only eat healthy when their getting fat.

    Also, I want filet mignon.

    You're not on crack. 93 lbs. at 4'4" puts you at a BMI of 24.2. That's the top end of the normal range, so yeah, she was probably a little chubby. She was not fat, nor was she obese. 

    I feel horrible for this little girl and the self esteem issues she will surely have due to her crazy mother. 

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