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Would this matter to you?
I'm doing a 5K on May 5 with a friend. She's just getting back into running and is having a really hard time with it. We've been trying to meet up a few days a week to run but for various reasons ( usually something on her end) sometimes we can't always meet up. She's not running on her own so this means its not really getting any easier for her. I'm trying to be encouraging but obviously I can't make her workout or run, you know? Now she wants her boyfriend to join us which is fine but he doesn't run at all, I don't even think he works out at all. Non of this effects me except for the fact that the whole plan was to run this 5K and now we're going to be walking a lot which I don't want to do. I'm debating asking another friend of mine to run it with us as well so that if need be I can break off and run with him and my other friend and her boyfriend can stay together.
I feel like a huge jacka$$ though for wanting to do that but I just feel like I want to run my best race possible and I really don't want to walk. If I knew my friend was putting in all her effort I would totally be willing to stick with her but I feel like she doesn't really care. Ugh...I know what I WANT to do but I don't think it's what I SHOULD do if that makes sense. So I don't know, does it make me a jerk to break off during the race?
Re: Would this matter to you?
I think it makes perfect sense.
She asked her boyfriend to join, so why should you feel rude in asking a friend to join? Also, In the end they may just drop out all together and then you would end up by yourself.
If she has her boyfriend to run with don't worry about leaving them behind, it's not like you are leaving her on her own.
I have to agree with this. If YOU were doing this to help encourage her to do it then it would be nice to help support them to the finish line. BUT. I also feel ya! She will not be alone, but she also won't have the proper support of someone who has done this. KWIM? Tough choice.
2011-2012 Races
10/29/11 LA RockNRoll Min Half (5K) 42:58
12/4/11 Vegas RockNRoll Half 3:14:53
1/7/12 WDW Half 3:13:42
1/15/12 RnR AZ 2:55:27 (PR!!)
1/29/12 Tinkerbell 1/2 3:22:37 (To many picture stops!lol)
Me:32 DH:33
IFV w/ DE Only Option (On Hold For Now)
NOT AT ALL!! First of all, you started this as a team and she doesn't seem to be getting the team thing, between not participating in the two of you trying to get ready for the race, but then inviting the boyfriend to participate. It sounds like she really isn't into it, so by you inviting a friend to join you, it almost will make her feel better. You'll be able to break off with your friend and do your best and she won't be pressured to keep up to your pace and may in turn motivate her to try harder next time. Hope this helps and good luck!!
I'd probably just break off and run on my own anyway, but that's only because my friends and I do that all the time when we run. It generally encourages the one behind to speed up, but I doubt everyone is like that.
I think it's fine to invite another person. The more the merrier (which is really what she's doing by inviting the BF anyway.)
See that is where I am struggling I guess. I want to encourage her, but ONLY if she really wants it for herself in the first place. Do you get what I mean? I'm all for taking as long as she needs and lots of walk breaks if she is putting her all in. But if she she's not really into it I would probably be annoyed if I just hung back for nothing. And yes, her dropping out of this race is a possibility, not sure why I hadn't even thought of that yet. She was supposed to do the race I just did this past weekened with me but she bailed last minute. I guess I'll have to talk with her and see where she is at before I decide.
~2012 Races~
American Birkenbeiner - 50K Ski 3:19:00
Davenport St. Patrick's Day Fun Run - 5K 21:58
UIVA Warrior Challenge - 5K 22:06
Iowa City River Run - 10K 44:37 PR!
Green Bay Marathon 5/20/12
I don't think she'd mind if I invited my friend to join us either way but I know if I ask him to race he'll want to go for it and not walk at all.
This. Meet up with her before the start, hang out, wish her luck, then run your own race. Then make sure to hang around the finish and cheer her on when she gets there. I would only ever expect to run a whole race alongside someone if we did every training run together and knew that we ran the same pace.
This exactly. I always plan to "run" with my friends, in that we all get together and meet up and start together, and then run at our own paces, and then wait at the finish for each other, cheer, get beer, etc.
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Yup, just ask her what her plan is for the race, does she want you to run it with her or does it matter to her?
j+k+m+e | running with needles
j+k+m+e | running with needles
Not the right mindset for race day, especially given the background she explained about her friend flaking on their runs and not putting in the effort. OP is NOT bound to this couple and their success. Sometimes you just gotta look out for yourself. I'd be *pissed* if I sacrificed a race that I'd trained for weeks/months for to nudge some slackers along. Seriously.
Now, I'm not above sticking together for encouragement. I "sacrificed" a 25K to stick with my mom, whose first it was, when she struggled. Figured I got her into it, I would see her through it. That does not sound like the case in the OP.
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Green Living Reading List
And you should, without feeling guilty for that. Run your own race. You are not responsible for anyone else's success or failure on race day. There are enough stresses without being saddled with that, too.
My Clean Eating Blog
Green Living Reading List
I think this is the best thing to do anytime people head to a race as a group. I personally would tell someone to go ahead because I would want them to do their best. Also, knowing that you may go ahead may give her the out that maybe she needs?
2011-2012 Races
10/29/11 LA RockNRoll Min Half (5K) 42:58
12/4/11 Vegas RockNRoll Half 3:14:53
1/7/12 WDW Half 3:13:42
1/15/12 RnR AZ 2:55:27 (PR!!)
1/29/12 Tinkerbell 1/2 3:22:37 (To many picture stops!lol)
Me:32 DH:33
IFV w/ DE Only Option (On Hold For Now)
Thank you for that! I think I have a bad habit of feeling that way. I'm just really excited about this but I don't want to be a jerkwad :^) I just need to talk to her and make sure we're both on the same page