Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Long-Distance Marriage?
Hey there Nesties,
I'm new from the Knottie boards; me and my hubby married in March 
He took a job that brought him out to Baltimore; I am staying in NYC. The plan is for him to stay there 1-2 years, then back here with me. It totally sucks, but I am doing my best to manage.
My question is, is there a thread or a board for long-distance wives and husbands? I didn't find one in my search, and I know I must not be the only one where life and work brings us temporarily apart,and I would love to connect with some, share experiences, vent, laugh
If anyone knows of one, that would be great; if not, I can always start one
Thanks in advance!
Ninny
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss
Re: Long-Distance Marriage?
The only board I can name is the military board here on the Nest. Those ladies and guys are also coping with long distance marriages due to deployment. Good luck.
I was going to suggest the MN board as well.
Are there any meetup groups in your area that relate to this sort of thing?
I don't know of such a board, but I'd love one, too. My husband and I are currently long distance (me in Indiana, him in Delaware). We've been long distance for about 5 months this time, and we're hoping to move back together in about a year and a half. We also spent a year and a half apart starting our second year of marriage (we've been married for 4.5 years now). We were also apart for the four years before we got married, him at the University of Penn, me at the University of Wisconsin. Anyway, that's my long way of saying that I feel your pain, and feel free to PM if you want someone to talk to about it (or if you decide to start that board!).
How often do you get to see each other? What are your plans? Is there an end in sight?
We always said we'd never do long distance again after being long distance during our engagement. I guess you should never say never, because now we live in Portland and for the past 5 months I've been working in San Francisco. It's rough. I thought it would be better now because we are in such a better place as a couple on many levels, and because it's more on my terms and our terms. Plus my job pays for my transportation home every weekend, and I work a compressed schedule. And in a lot of ways it is better. But it still sucks. In all the obvious ways, of course. Plus it feels like our lives are on hold and all the spontaneity has been surgically removed from our marriage.
I'm sticking it out because it is eventually supposed to transition to partially working from home. And aside from the location it's a great job. Starting this month, it's 1 week per month at home, and in the future hopefully it will be no more than 50/50 on site. I think it helps immensely to have a goal and an end in sight. I don't think I could do it otherwise.
@Geek_Girl Thank you for the Meetup suggestion! I never thought of that; and I'd love to get some FaceTime in with others like me
@Kaytee241 and a80Lady I don't know how to start a board, or to whom I can suggest a Long Distance/Commuter Marriage board to, but I will try and find out
In the meanwhile, I'd love to continue a thread here; or do you think the thread would benefit from being on the Relationships board? My hubby and I being apart for work isn't trouble in paradise per say; what do you think? 
@Julie 324 Me and my husband lived for six years in DC, so I am very familiar with Baltimore; I even preferreditover DC
I am from NYC, so I am very glad to be back home, closer to my family and friends, and I have an amazing job; art/pastry-related jobs are few and far between in the Mid-Atlantic. 
@sillygoose My husband just left in September; our plan is for him to work out there for 1-2 years, and in that time we will save up as much money as we can, since this opportunity is paying very generously. We plan to assess our plan every three months, and hopefully these two years will fly by. But even with an end date and goal, it's still so tough! We are just trying to handle this as best as possible
My SO and I have been long distance for one year and six months now. The end date is May, and I cannot wait!
Like PP mentioned, knowing when the LD period will end helps to keep things in perspective. GL with everything!
I'm not sure the Relationships board is the right place, either. Chit Chat tends to be kind of slow, maybe there?
Maybe send suggestions here: feedback@thenest.com
If enough of us suggest it, maybe they'll start one? I just emailed them a request for it.
I'm in a similar situation - We married last December. In June he moved to Atlanta for a great position. I've been living here in New Orleans still. Hopefully moving with him next summer though. It can be done - it's just rough sometimes.
Thank you Giola!
Kaytee I sent an email as well. Thank you!
Bluesecrets, it can totally be rough sometimes. I always seem to be teetering between being Supportive Wife and understanding why he chose this job, and being totally upset and the situation. But I try to think of the bigger picture, and I am trying to readjust and make the best of it; he will be receiving a pastry care-package from me weekly, and we are now on Instagram, so we can share pictures throughout the day with each other. It's the little things that will help
Is anyone going to see their other halves for Thanksgiving?
Every single marriage I have watched try to work at a distance has failed.
Every.single.one.
Best of luck, but man, not the way I would want to start out.
And I've seen several manage it successfully.
I realize I'm only one example, but my husband and I have been together for over 12 years, more than half of which we've been long distance. It's difficult, but it can work.
I am headed home for Thanksgiving. We try to see each other every month. Before accepting my most recent position I worked extra vacation time into my contract (~6 days per month) with the understanding that I would be in a long-distance marriage, so I'm pretty lucky. In the past we had no special arrangements, so we'd see each other more like 2-3 days/month, slightly longer at holiday times.
Everyone has their own experiences in a long-distance marriage; they certainly are not easy to manage by any means; this is why I thought to reach out here, so that others that are in LDMs can come together to support each other.
That being said I hope posters to this thread who are not in LDMs give positive energy to an already difficult situation; I promise to be supportive in anything I post on any thread as well
Kaytee241 that's great that you get that kind of flexibility from your job!
Sybil that's a great suggestion; since I'll only see the hubby once every 2 months or so, I'm right there with you
I got a response to my email:
Hi Katie,
Thanks so much for the feedback. We will keep it in consideration for the next time we create new message boards. Thank you!
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Kathleen
Community Coordinator, The Bump and The Nest
Im going thru the same. I live in Ecuador and my boyfriend got his greencard, he had to move to US with his parents and I was 3 months pregnant. this past march 3rd he returned and we got married but he had to come back to US and now Im in here with our 1 year old son.
Its hard for us right, sometimes due to his work, we cant talk everyday and sometimes I end up crying of loneliness just seeing my son?s face