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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Will you watch the Duggars tonight?
It feels wrong.
(For anyone who has missed the one thousand previews on TLC they find out there's no heartbeat)
Re: Will you watch the Duggars tonight?
I don't think I can watch it. Like other PPs it just seems too personal, plus I think it may be too emotionally draining for me to watch.
I just turned it on and yes it made me cry but hearing the mom made me see what my mom went through 24 years ago when she lost my brother. At I blamed my mom what did I know I was 12. These things happen, Daniel was 24 weeks and just too small and there was no NICU at the hospital. Some may say this is too personal to share but honestly I feel that showing this is to their credit. I so wish we had a service for my brother we had no closure just loss. a year and 1/2 later my sister was born. No matter if you like them or not you caqn see their pain and loss and you could see how much everyone wanted her.
I never watch the show but actually wanted to tune in for this episode but forgot. Yes it is a personal experience but so is a birth and they show that. I think showing the other side may help a lot of people who have went through the same kind of thing; I'm sure that is why they decided to let it be filmed and air.
Part of me agrees, but another part of me respects them for showing how tragic a loss in utero can be to expecting parents/families. They were mourning what could have been and how much joy that pregnancy brought into their lives in such a short time.
I was really impressed with how well they handled it.
i'm watching the rerun of it right now.
i have come to learn that those that feel it is wrong or inappropriate are simply too afraid to learn about something that is such a reality and not just one of those "it won't happen to me" situations.
i don't like the duggars. but i feel i need to watch this for them. it happens. and however a grieving family chooses to cope and share the information is really unto them. you really don't know how you would react and treat such a situation until you are actually in it. and i'm actually impressed that they are sharing this struggle and showing people that it does happen.
Bahaha really? You're closed-mindedness is showing
I completely agree. It's interesting on this thread that those who have been through it or known someone who's been through it think it's appropriate, but those who think it's "too personal" haven't been through it. I think that shows that many people are just uncomfortable with this topic. I was obviously tragic for them (as it was for me), but wonderful that they showed what real women and families go through when they lose babies at that stage of the game.
FWIW, it was done very tastefully. I am not a Duggar fan but watched this episode because it was about their loss - yes, it made me cry, but it was also very beautiful to see how they remembered Jubilee. Michelle's words were heartbreaking.
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
Because I don't like a TV show? I guess saying it's "wrong" was a poor choice of words.
Is this directed at me? I am going by the fact that certain posters had information in their post or their signatures about what they've experienced.
If someone feels uncomfortable and doesn't want to watch they don't have to. But I don't understand how it can be "wrong" or "inappropriate" (which implies judgment) for the Duggars to remember their baby. Their entire lives are on TV, why not this? They're just supposed to pretend their baby didn't exist?
Sorry, but this just really hit a nerve for me.
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
It wasn't directed at a single person, as a few people made similar comments. Yes, you were among them, but certainly not the only.
You're right: anyone who thinks it's inappropriate, wrong, or discomforting doesn't have to watch. But the title of the thread was "Will you watch?" and people chimed in with whether they would/did, and why.
Your comment, among the others here, were pretty sweeping generalizations about anyone who felt that the episode was inappropriate, which may take into account those whose history you think you have a good grasp on (thanks to sig info) and those who have NOTHING in their sigs - myself and others included. I think it's utterly ridiculous to make a leap from "LLHR thinks the Duggar episode was inappropriate, therefore she must not know what loss is like."
The Duggars were entitled to grieve and remember their daughter however they saw fit. But others are entitled to have an opinion on it, *especially* because the Duggars choose to live their lives in the spotlight.
And for God's sake, no one even remotely implied that they should forget that their child existed. Again: what a leap.
I don't think that what I said was a leap - so you're saying it's ok for them to remember their child privately, but not publicly? Their lives are on TV, so how could they not include this - should they not include it because it would make other people feel uncomfortable?
Again, if people don't want to watch, they don't have to. My problem is with those who categorized it as "wrong" - that means that not only will I not watch, but I don't think it should be on TV in the first place, and I don't think the Duggars should publicly show what happened to their child.
You are correct that some generalizations were made. I think the reason is that many of us have experienced this attitude in our personal lives, where others ignore that it happened or don't know how to respond to it. It makes them uncomfortable so they'd prefer to pretend that it doesn't exist. The thing is that yes, WE know it happened, and we can remember our baby, but we also want others to acknowledge that as well. That dynamic seemed to be reflected here, and is where some posters, myself included, were coming from.
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!