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HR recruiters and managers, come in please!
Hey ladies! I havent posted on here in quite some time (usually a lurker) as I typically frequent the Bump boards. I have seen this asked several times on the Working Moms board, but wanted to see what you ladies have to say.
I am currently almost 15 weeks pregnant, and am in the interview process for a new job. I had my 2nd interview today and I think it went really well and I am one of 3 final applicants left. From the advice I have receieved thus far, I have not told them that I am pregnant. I was going to wait until an offer was on the table. Is this wise? WWYD? A part of me feels guilty like I am "hiding" it, but I also obviously dont want them to not hire me b/c of it (I know they cant legally do that, but they can easily just select another candidate if for some reason it is between us 2). I also dont want to tell them to make them feel obligated to hire me (like I will go out and report them for discrimination if they dont). The guy asked me today if I had any vacations coming up soon (which I dont). I told him "no" but felt that could have been an opportune time to tell him that I would need 6-8ish weeks off come this fall. He told me that he asked that question b/c he has hired someone before and then they came out and told him they needed a week or 2 off right off the bat, which kind of irked him b/c they were in the middle of training, etc. I can see how that can be frowned upon.....so is 6-8 weeks off in 5-6 months the same thing? I should be well out of initial training by then.
Im sorry if this got long, but any advice? I dont want them to feel like I am a sneaky secret keeper, but I also dont feel my qualifications for the job are affected b/c I am pregnant.
Re: HR recruiters and managers, come in please!
Learn your lesson the hard way; they may indeed renege the offer once you tell them you're pregnant. From now on, say so upfront during a second interview, or the only interview, whichever applies. GL.
If this is a company that does indeed do something like that (i.e. illegal, discrimination against a pregnant woman), then I wouldnt want to work for them anyways.
I'd tell them. Normally, I would say to wait until you have an offer but since they flat out asked if you would need time off, I wouldn't lie. Yeah, you do need time off, and you do need a lot of it.
I don't know what your state laws are, but keep in mind that federal law won't protect your job unless you've been there for a year. They may not be able to discriminate, but they can also replace you when you are off work.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
I appreciate your input! My sister is in HR and I am currently talking to her about what she has experienced as well. I feel like there are two totally different "right" things to do in this situation. You are right though, the thing I am nervous about isnt my pregnancy, but letting them know how much time I would need off. If that amount of time, or the timing of it, is an issue, then we can address that with an offer.
FWIW I interviewed at 5 months. By time I actually started the job 4 weeks later I was 6 months pregnant. I went into labor (surprise) at 7 months. I had an emergency C/S and a NICU baby. I planned to be out 6 weeks but acually ended up taking 11. They would have probably let me have a few more weeks but I agreed to return if I could work from home for the next 4 weeks. I ended up working from hom for 6 weeks instead. They were very patient and understanding with me.
I understand this as well, and it makes me nervous. I didnt have FMLA when I had my first child either. I feel as if the 6-8 week maternity leave wont work for them, then they can flat out tell me and we can part ways before I start working (and before I resign at my current job!) It's not my pregnancy that will cause any problem, but indeed my time off.
Like pp said, it can be a part of the negotiations, and if you cannot agree, then it is ok to part ways.
I do not necessarily agree that it should be brought up during interviews unless you cannot fulfill the job (like a short term sub teacher, then they're replacing their replacement).
PI also find this interviewer a bit harsh. Does he mean someone accepted and started working, then said they needed time off? Or was it part of the negotiations? If it's the first scenario, I see where he's coming from. But if it's part of the negotiations, then I think he's wrong.