Starting Over
phreerose
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
The break-up text
I need help figuring out what to say. I'm horrible at this. I've been dating this guy for the past month. He's very nice and the conversation flows pretty easy between us. However I'm a very physically person and I'm not just referring to sex (although that too). But I hug everyone, like to cuddle, hold hands etc. and that is just not him. It's not for lack of me trying to initiate it either.
There are some other things that just don't work for me, but that's the big one, so I've decided to give him the old heave ho. But what do I say? Your a nice person, I just don't think we are compatible
Re: The break-up text
This!
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Really you guys suck. We have only been on five dates and have literally also only talked on the phone once for 3 minutes so we could decide where to meet. Do I still need to call him?
I will, I just really don't want to.
A text is fine for someone you've gone on a couple of dates with, but I agree with PP's, a phone call is more appropriate after a month.
ETA: I just saw your follow up to the replies...I guess each situation is different. If talking on the phone with him is totally out of the ordinary and he is the type that just prefers to text, then maybe it's not the worst thing. I'm not a big phone person myself and probably wouldn't care if someone I went on 5 dates with ended it via text or email. But like I said, everyone is different.
If one of us came one here saying some guy we were seeing for a month and had been out with 5 times, broke up with us via text, we'd all rally and cry things like, "douchebag!"
You are not a douchebag. I know it sucks, but you have to talk to him. No text. No email. Sorry!
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I agree with all of the above...call don't text.
It's difficult, but the respectable thing to do.
Here's what I would do
1. call him (and hope he answers).
2. make small talk about your day for a minute or two
3. work in the "So, the reason I was calling was ....I know we had plans later this week but I have to cancel. It's really tough for me to say this, but I don't think I want to keep seeing each other any more. I think you're great and bla bla bla (stroke his ego a bit...softens the blow) but ..;.(give at least one concrete reason so it's not super generic). I'm so sorry, but I wanted to tell you on the phone versus a text or email because I think you deserve that..." and end it on a positive note.
4. Hope he's cool and takes it well
5. Open a bottle of wine and have a glass or two!
I agree...If you have never talked on the phone and he prefers to text I don't see what the big deal is. I have had this happen to me and it was actually preferable than the phone but everyone is different.