Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Do people really want to be broken up with in person?
Re: one of the responses to the break up text post. I think that would be THE worst. I mean, unless you've been in a very serious, long-term relationship, please, just call me.
The day I left was just my beginning.
Re: Do people really want to be broken up with in person?
Right! Like, don't make me put makeup on and do my hair and dress cute to dump me in public.
I think the only times I've had "in person" breakups were with my ex-FI, the guy I was in an LTR with after that, and then my most recent relationship of 9 months. But even with this one the "breakup" had kind of occured when he blew me off that weekend and the only reason I saw him in person was to get all my things from his place. Since I was there we obviously talked a little further about what had happened. Had I not had to do that I would have had no desire to see him in person for anything. I'm not a fan of breaking down in front of anyone and having that be their last in person memory of me.
ETA: if someone made plans with me just to breakup, I would be PISSED! In that case yes, just call me!
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. My Blog
I agree. I prefer phone calls.
I tried to break up with my last BF in person, but in the process of invivting him over he told me to "Say what I wanted to say." so I told him on the phone. He hung up on me. Called me back later and we both said sorry/goodbye. He came by to drop off his key the next day.
It was as "easy" as it could have been. He was a very sensitive guy and I know he hung up cause he was crying and didn't want me to know.
Uless we were close friends before or run in the same crowd... I prefer that we go our seperate ways. Always be civil should we run into each other, but I never intentionally make plans or speak to my X's.
The exception being one guy I dated in college who was in my circle. We are cool.
So, I'm assuming that since XH and I went to dinner to have "the talk" that was really weird huh? Ok, maybe I even thought it was weird. But that was more because we were both 100% on the same page and we were completely done.
In general, unless we were very serious, I think a call or text would be perfectly fine, but if it needed to be in person and if it was a situation where I would be emotional, it definitely would need to be in private at home or something. I don't want to look like anass in public.
I don't think a break-up conversation is needed for casual dating as long as that was clearly the intent on both sides).
If it was muddled past the initial stage and had quite a few dates, I have a lot more respect for those who break-up with me in person (either at home or in private). I prefer to have the break-up conversation as soon as the person was not feeling it, it could be at the end of a date or something... not wait until few days later after finding out how they feel.
Not being real is a real turn-off for me. Especially if they all everything is fine and dandy in person and only be real via text. This would make me feel like I was lead on. But then again, that tells me what kind of person they are and that is the kind of person I do not want to be with.
There is no need to put on an emotional dramatic show in person, just be simple and honest with respect.
That was mean! Talk about mix messages!!!
This makes me think of a HIMYM episode where Ted had broken up with a girl on her answering machine, then started dating her again a few years later, then took her out to dinner and broke up with her.
)
Marriage of LTR relationship, in person.
Otherwise, phone is fine, never text - that is tacky. Email is a grey area.
In my most recent break up I was with with the guy for 8 months. I had been telling him for about a week that I felt off, but I didn't think it was my relationship. I told him that we were fine, because that is what I truly thought at the time.
Then I had a whole weekend to myself. I spent a lot of time reflecting and realized that I was "off" because I was not ready for that serious of a relationship like I thought I was. I wanted to do more growing on my own and things were just not right with us. We would discuss problems as they came up, but in the end it really all just hit me at once during that weekend.
So I called him to set up a time to talk... as I said before it ending up being done over the phone... I am sure in his eyes he was blindsided and felt like it came out of nowhere, though I had shared my feelings as they would arise. It just took a while for me to really be honest with myself and take the time to understand how I felt.
In a nutshell, it doesn't ALWAYS mean they're a bad person if they don't break up in person. Sometimes things just don't go the way we plan.
*Though I would have never ended an 8 month relationship over text.
I have done almost every breakup via text. Actually, since I had a restraining order, I didnt even end my marriage in person.
That being said, it's not like I sent a text and that was the end of it. I think it takes the pressure off both parties - and I've found that most people are more comfortable with txting than calling, period.