Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Lets talk about sex
I have a few questions. How long did you wait after your seperation from your ex before sleeping with someone new? I am not ready for a serious relationship but I am finally starting to think its time to get out there though. Also, I am wondering about the FWB thing. How do you set something like that up? Is it like a booty call kind of a thing or do you actually go out and hang out and then end up at someone place, yet there are no strings attached?
Re: Lets talk about sex
I waited 6 months before sleeping with someone and it was very natural and fun. It was someone I met on a business trip that I still keep in touch with years later
I have had a few FWB type things but it generally doesn't work out very well because feelings get involved and it's very hard to keep it no strings attached. I guess for it to work you really can't be friends with them or spend time together outside of sleeping together.
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
It was 5 months after we separated. At the time, I had just been craving physical attention. Some friends were over and we were all hanging out and having fun. One guy and I were flirting and teasing back and forth all night. Maybe I had a little extra courage from the 2 drinks I had but I asked him to stay the night, and he did.
We talked about it and neither of us were interested in dating each other. But we sure got along in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom, we were good friends. We saw each other regularly because of our friends group. We ended our benefits part since he got a GF, but we remain good friends and still hang out regularly.
*stomps feet and leaves the post cursing those of you who are getting some on the regular*
If I had had my own place, I would have brought back the guy I made out with on St. Patrick's Day, so that would have been 4 months.
I haven't had sex yet, and I really super want it, lol.
11 months before dating, and a month after dating to sleep with the guy.
So, 1 year.
I waited about seven months and I was definitely ready, although the relationship ended up not working out.
As far as the FWB thing, I do not recommend it. I had a relationship like that for a short time and it ended with him getting hurt (I wasn't interested in a relationship and he was). It was something where I would just drunk text him late at night, he'd come over, we'd do our thing and then he'd leave. He never even stayed the night and I was grateful for that.
I waited 7 months and by then I was literally ready to jump on anybody that'd let me lol.
As for the FWB it's tricky territory for sure. There's one guy that I have sort of had a on / off FWB relationship with for over a year now. We met online, I was very clear from the start that I didn't want a relationship and so for a long time we had a weekly date which both started and ended with lots of sex. Sometimes dinner, movies, hiking or whatever. Then he decided he wanted more so we stopped seeing each other for awhile, a month later he decided he didn't care. So we went back to our old ways only not nearly as frequently.
My second FWB experience goes as follows. Was introduced to him through acquaintances, hung out in a group setting several times and was clear from the start that we were both attracted to one another. Long story short we see each other every few weeks when we are out in the same circle and maybe 1 of every five times we see each other we end up spending the night together. We also text and chat sporadically in between. This was all fine and great until I recently came to the realization that I have some feelings for this guy and also want to be in a real and healthy relationship again at some point. So that being said it could have the potential to become complicated if I let things continue. but hopefully I'm smart enough to keep that from happening.
Uh, much less than 4 months.
Wow.
To the OP -- whatever's right for you.
I waited over a year (15 months or so), and after my divorce was finalized, which was really important to me. I was not ready before that, either, and I had an issue (mental, emotional) with sleeping with someone while I was legally married.
I ended up sleeping with a friend, after we expressly stated that neither of us had any interest in a relationship, but he is a very nice person and I trusted him. This is still pretty new, so we will see where it goes, but I really do not want to be in a relationship. We were already hanging out a few times a week for marathon training with a group, so I guess we are seeing each other about the same frequency. I can't say whether or not this arrangement is a good idea for the long run, but I honestly feel that if we stopped the physical part today, we would still be able to be friends.
My advice is do not rush it. You will know when it is right for you. I knew after my first post- separation date that I was not ready to get out there, because I came home and cried. I briefly dated a guy this summer, and he wanted to sleep together, and it felt so wrong, I ended up just stopping hanging out with him. This time, it felt natural and fun and I had no regrets.
Tea Time for Lulu
I am in the under 4 months deal as well It was probably about 1 1/2
but i had been checked out for almost 2 years.
Then i ended that and ended up hooking up with a old fling from college a few months later. And 3 months later it is the best decision i ever did.
You will know when its right and so will your friends and family. at least in my case everyone sees a huge difference in me.
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