I am such a fool, I looked at my training log from this time last year

daisysle · April 2012

and instantly got depressed.

I know I am 7, almost 8 months pregnant so it is impossible to be at the level I was this time last year but it's still depressing. I have not run or worked out in 2 days, only ran 4 times last week and 4 times the pervious week and am so,so slow. Last year at this time I was running week day 8 & 10 milers at sub-8 minute miles. Now I am lucky if I can run a 10 minute mile. I should be happy with all I have accomplished running wise throughout this pregnancy but it's still hard to deal with.

Not only that, but pulling out of Boston and watching all my running friends train for a spring marathons is killing me. I LOVE long distance running so much and I am kind of envious of those I run with. Watching them complete their multiple 20 milers, hearing them discuss their upcoming marathon, etc... I want to be doing that.

I know what I have growing inside me is far more important than anything else. I am so excited for this baby too. She is my top priority, it's just difficult when you are so used to pushing yourself every single day to not being able to at all. Even when you want to, your body tells you no.

Sorry for such a long, sob fest post. I just needed to get this out. And I knew most of you would understand how I am feeling. Stick out tongue

blackbeltbride · April 2012

I know this is super hard for you -- even more so because you had to put off a huge goal (Boston) that you worked so hard for. Sometimes we all have a tough time seeing the glass as half full, but be proud of all your accomplishments during this pregnancy! You'll be back to your "old self" in no time flat. I'm also fairly convinced that your daughter will be sprinting out of your uterus

moshi's paw · April 2012

I really, really don't mean to make this sound snarky or mean-spirited in any way (because I really look up to you and your awesome running prowess), this is just an honest, concerned question.

Have you had many positive thoughts about being pregnant and having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby at the end of this journey?

It just seems like every time you talk about being pregnant you are very down on yourself, your running, the pregnancy, etc. and none of those thoughts are really paired with a "I've been healthy during this pregnancy and I can't wait to have a healthy happy baby!", like other running mamas have been on this board.

I think we want to help you see the good that's going on too

daisysle · April 2012

moshi's paw:

I really, really don't mean to make this sound snarky or mean-spirited in any way (because I really look up to you and your awesome running prowess), this is just an honest, concerned question.

Have you had many positive thoughts about being pregnant and having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby at the end of this journey?

It just seems like every time you talk about being pregnant you are very down on yourself, your running, the pregnancy, etc. and none of those thoughts are really paired with a "I've been healthy during this pregnancy and I can't wait to have a healthy happy baby!", like other running mamas have been on this board.

I think we want to help you see the good that's going on too

I really have! I feel bad that it seems like I come across as being down on this pregnancy because that is not how I feel at all! I am so happy to know that I have an extremely healthy baby that I am growing right now. and I have had such an amazingly easy pregnancy thus far (i.e. no morning sickness). I just get into these funks. I honestly think it's because I have this addiction to running and training. It's like I don't know how to back off and when I am forced to, it drives me crazy.

Trust me, I love being pregnant, for the most part. I enjoy feeling my baby move and kick me on a daily basis. Even when she makes my ribs and back hurt.

GRKaters · April 2012

Sounds like it's time to focus on non-running excitement. Stop torturing yourself by doing everything the spring marathoners are doing. Go get a pedicure. Spend a few hours decorating/organizing the nursery. Buy some baby clothes. Meet a non-athletic friend for coffee and a donut. SLEEP IN on the weekend! I miss that part. Anything that has nothing to do with running!

You're not your old self right now, and it will take time to get back there. You *will* get back to it, but if you spend these next 4, 6, whatever months dwelling on how you *used* to be, I have this feeling you're going to resent the end of your pregnancy and early months with the new baby.

aeroluv327 · April 2012

The good thing about running is that it will always be there. You are so close to the end of your pregnancy (and meeting your baby girl!) and you have kept in such good shape that I'm sure you will bounce back in no time!

Sorry you are feeling frustrated!

daisysle · April 2012

GRKaters:

Sounds like it's time to focus on non-running excitement. Stop torturing yourself by doing everything the spring marathoners are doing. Go get a pedicure. Spend a few hours decorating/organizing the nursery. Buy some baby clothes. Meet a non-athletic friend for coffee and a donut. SLEEP IN on the weekend! I miss that part. Anything that has nothing to do with running!

You're not your old self right now, and it will take time to get back there. You *will* get back to it, but if you spend these next 4, 6, whatever months dwelling on how you *used* to be, I have this feeling you're going to resent the end of your pregnancy and early months with the new baby.

I knew I could come here to get snapped out of this funk.

You've really got me thinking Kate. Why not focus on other things I enjoy instead of running? it's always going to be here. There is nothing wrong with taking a break. I need to keep this post handy and re-read it any time I start to feel down on myself or thinking about the "remember whens" of running!!!

JenniferJaneC · April 2012

Every pregnant woman is entitled to an occasional pity-party. For some it is missing fitting into skinny jeans, for you it is missing running fast. Don't be so hard on yourself - that you are keeping your fitness up now is going to have a big impact on how quickly you recover after pregnancy.

ECUPirate04 · April 2012

Two things. You are faster then me pg than I am not pg Also, you are still running which is amazing.

And one more thing I've heard many women including myself say they were actually stronger post pregnancy so I think you will be back and better than ever!

taratru · April 2012

GRKaters:
Sounds like it's time to focus on non-running excitement. Stop torturing yourself by doing everything the spring marathoners are doing. Go get a pedicure. Spend a few hours decorating/organizing the nursery. Buy some baby clothes. Meet a non-athletic friend for coffee and a donut. SLEEP IN on the weekend! I miss that part. Anything that has nothing to do with running!
You're not your old self right now, and it will take time to get back there. You *will* get back to it, but if you spend these next 4, 6, whatever months dwelling on how you *used* to be, I have this feeling you're going to resent the end of your pregnancy and early months with the new baby.

This,soooo this. I had to stop running last time due to pelvic rest and it was a bummer to be so focused on what I couldn't do. When I stopped looking at training plans and reading race results, and started focusing on myself and getting ready for the baby, things got infinitely better. And now, I'm faster than ever, so clearly the time off didn't hurt.

Brie2010 · April 2012

daisysle:
and instantly got depressed.

I know I am 7, almost 8 months pregnant so it is impossible to be at the level I was this time last year but it's still depressing. I have not run or worked out in 2 days, only ran 4 times last week and 4 times the pervious week and am so,so slow. Last year at this time I was running week day 8 & 10 milers at sub-8 minute miles. Now I am lucky if I can run a 10 minute mile. I should be happy with all I have accomplished running wise throughout this pregnancy but it's still hard to deal with.

Not only that, but pulling out of Boston and watching all my running friends train for a spring marathons is killing me. I LOVE long distance running so much and I am kind of envious of those I run with. Watching them complete their multiple 20 milers, hearing them discuss their upcoming marathon, etc...  I want to be doing that.

I know what I have growing inside me is far more important than anything else. I am so excited for this baby too.  She is my top priority, it's just difficult when you are so used to pushing yourself every single day to not being able to at all. Even when you want to, your body tells you no.

Sorry for such a long, sob fest post. I just needed to get this out. And I knew most of you would understand how I am feeling.

I totally understand how you're feeling...I blogged about my frustrations last night. My CrossFit friends are all making huge gains, and look incredible, whereas I'm totally going backwards and huffing and puffing to get through workouts lately.

I totally agree with the bold. A lot of the fun of working out, for me, is pushing as hard as I can go, and I just can't take it to that level anymore. I just don't get the same rush from going to class, modifying everything, and only giving a 75% effort. My motivation is shot lately--I'm more tired, and it's hard being the back-of-the-packer in class when I'm used to being near the top. I do feel like an ingrate for complaining about it sometimes, because I truly am thrilled to be pregnant with a healthy baby--but it really threw me for a loop to tone down my primary hobby so much.

Big hugs to you.

historychick79 · April 2012

Being pregnant means 'losing' your body to some degree. You're no longer fully in control of what your body needs and does, and it will take time to get back to your pre-pregnancy self (and even that may be slightly different). That's hard to accept, and having just gone through this I feel it's part of training to become a mom; you're never fully in control again (don't mean to scare you, but true). But I can definitely assure you that once you're ready to return to your running routine, you will find that love and passion again and it will feel amazing to get back in shape along with juggling a growing family. It's a whole new level of accomplishment, and you'll be a great example for your child on how to live a healthy life. I agree with PP, try to enjoy the break with some pampering and preparing for your new LO; there's plenty of time to train in the future.

jillybean222 · April 2012

If anyone will be running laps around the hospital parking lot within hours after delivering, it will be you. Enjoy a relaxing month or two and get back at it this summer Also, I am not nearly as competitive or determined or internally motivated as you, and I was back out there running at 5 weeks PP

feinicstine · April 2012

I just need to come in and say that you have been an incredible inspiration through your entire pregnancy. I can only hope that when the time comes for us to start expanding out family I will be as healthy as you have. You're doing an amazing job staying in shape, and it's going to pay you back after you deliver. You're going to be back to where you were in no time at all.

jillybean222 · April 2012

GRKaters:
Sounds like it's time to focus on non-running excitement. Stop torturing yourself by doing everything the spring marathoners are doing. Go get a pedicure. Spend a few hours decorating/organizing the nursery. Buy some baby clothes. Meet a non-athletic friend for coffee and a donut. SLEEP IN on the weekend! I miss that part. Anything that has nothing to do with running!
You're not your old self right now, and it will take time to get back there. You *will* get back to it, but if you spend these next 4, 6, whatever months dwelling on how you *used* to be, I have this feeling you're going to resent the end of your pregnancy and early months with the new baby.

This is great advice. Do this exactly

beebe929 · April 2012

GRKaters:

Sounds like it's time to focus on non-running excitement. Stop torturing yourself by doing everything the spring marathoners are doing. Go get a pedicure. Spend a few hours decorating/organizing the nursery. Buy some baby clothes. Meet a non-athletic friend for coffee and a donut. SLEEP IN on the weekend! I miss that part. Anything that has nothing to do with running!

You're not your old self right now, and it will take time to get back there. You *will* get back to it, but if you spend these next 4, 6, whatever months dwelling on how you *used* to be, I have this feeling you're going to resent the end of your pregnancy and early months with the new baby.

this made me LOL

Steph you are having a baby so soon!! It will be so much fun to snuggle again!!! Get rest now and enjoy the sunshine!

beebe929 · April 2012

ECUPirate04:

Two things. You are faster then me pg than I am not pg Also, you are still running which is amazing.

And one more thing I've heard many women including myself say they were actually stronger post pregnancy so I think you will be back and better than ever!

this!

thom2022 · April 2012

I can't say I know how you feel because I've never been pregnant. But, I so agree with the suggestions to remember your other hobbies and focus on this time to do them. What about lunch or supper with friends or family you don't see that often? Once baby comes it will be harder to do these things, so relish the extra time. I love running (and am probably too consumed with it right now as I'm trying to set a big PR in a few weeks.) I'm nowhere near as speedy as you, but none of us are pro runners. It's not our livelihood. It's supposed to be fun and healthy and something we're proud of. Don't let it get you down. I'm so impressed you're still running as much as you are, and it's great to hear you say you know baby girl is #1 priority right now. Hope your spirits are lifted and you have a wonderful last weeks of pregnancy!

statwaldy · April 2012

I understand exactly what you mean. Although I am not nearly at your pre-preg running level, or probably even what your doing now, I miss it so so so much! I haven't been able to run at all during my pregnancy and I feel like I think about being able to start again after having the baby more then having the baby sometimes and I feel pretty guilty about that. Anyways, just want to say I know exactly where your coming from...

statwaldy · April 2012

PS- GRKaters - your advice is exactly what I needed too! So perfect!!!

GRKaters · April 2012

statwaldy:
PS- GRKaters - your advice is exactly what I needed too! So perfect!!!

Enjoy!

Cinco · April 2012

GRKaters:
Sounds like it's time to focus on non-running excitement. Stop torturing yourself by doing everything the spring marathoners are doing. Go get a pedicure. Spend a few hours decorating/organizing the nursery. Buy some baby clothes. Meet a non-athletic friend for coffee and a donut. SLEEP IN on the weekend! I miss that part. Anything that has nothing to do with running!
You're not your old self right now, and it will take time to get back there. You *will* get back to it, but if you spend these next 4, 6, whatever months dwelling on how you *used* to be, I have this feeling you're going to resent the end of your pregnancy and early months with the new baby.

This is great advice. I looked at my log from last year to get ideas for speed work, and it was a little depressing to see some of those old paces. I am enjoying the challenge though! I took a couple weeks off running towards the end of my pregnancy b/c it was not fun for me any more. I ended up loving the down time.

Brit's Luna154 · April 2012

Left Hug Right Hug You'll be back at it and faster than last year before you know it. Hang in there!

Sadlebred · April 2012

I have no kids, but you are a complete rock star running this far into your pregancy. Like everyone else said, you yourself some slack! You will be one healthy mom!

daisysle · April 2012

Thanks ladies. I had a pretty good visit with my doctor today too. I am going to not beat myself up about this anymore and enjoy the short time I have left of this pregnancy.

I am going to the gym tonight and told myself that I will use the AMT for cardio instead of running. I need to learn that I do not have to run! Smile

irishrn · April 2012

I have been "lurking" on this board for awhile, and love it!! I am in amazement of all your running while pregnant. I was running a lot, and also faster before my first pregnancy, but due to changes in insurance with that pregancy I got scared to run during it (I had to wait until 10wk pregnant for MD appt). I exercised throughout the entire thing though. In the last yr I have run three half marathons (my pace is nowhere near where I was before that first pregnancy). I have learned one thing though running is addictive and I love it. People who do not run do not understand the mentality behind it. I was disappointed by last race time, but I finished it. Pregnancy by itself messes with a girls' mind. It wont be long before you are out there enjoying what you love to do most (it will also help when you need a mental break). I started running again mainly because I could take them to the gym for a low fee. Good luck to you and congrats on your little girl!! You will be able to show her one day what you love so much. My little girl will be running with me one of these days.

Sam-mommy to Brady 11/6/06 & Riley 4/8/09

rxbeth · April 2012

It's understandable to be disappointed but you've gotten some great advice here.

I'm nowhere near your running level but it has been difficult coming to terms that I can't run as far, fast and often as I was before but I'm just in awe of what our bodies are going through and still being able to get some slow, steady runs in. Watching my comfortable pace go down and down and down has been quite amusing. I'm at a 13:20 pace right now.

MrsE120807 · April 2012

feinicstine:
I just need to come in and say that you have been an incredible inspiration through your entire pregnancy. I can only hope that when the time comes for us to start expanding out family I will be as healthy as you have. You're doing an amazing job staying in shape, and it's going to pay you back after you deliver. You're going to be back to where you were in no time at all.

This!

Breezy8407 · April 2012

I'm late on this but I wanted to say that even though I was nor will I be as fast as you, know how you feel. A year ago I was weeks out from my first 1/2 and running the most miles I had ever run.

If it makes you feel better I had to stop running at 21 weeks because of restrictions. Two weeks ago I got pulled from work and I am on strict bed rest. Seeing my friends and others out running and training is so hard right now and bed rest is going to make it that much harder for me to get back into shape. I know this is best for my babies and reminding myself that my body is not mine right now helps. That and knowing these weeks are going to be a snapshot of my life but mean so much to the health of my babies.

I am such a fool, I looked at my training log from this time last year

Re: I am such a fool, I looked at my training log from this time last year

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