Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Would you/Did you?
Frequent lurker, occasional poster here. I'll try and keep this brief but I'm 28 years old, married for 3 years in May. My DH and I have started talking about kids and I'm curious what the rest of you might do in this situation. My mom comes from a family of 5 girls and two of my aunts have had breast cancer in their 50's (making the time I should begin annual mammograms my 40's). Research shows women who have babies before age 30 reduce their risk of breast cancer. The women in my family have a history of struggling to conceive. One aunt (one that had breast cancer) never did, my parents were on the adoption list when they had me (after 5 years of trying) and another aunt had one child after many miscarriages. I realize there are no guarantees in life but if you were me, with this family history and my age, would you TTC sooner rather than later? Financially we would certainly have to re-structure but we are by no means struggling (decent house, no credit card debt, one, manageable car payment). I'd love to know the thoughts of complete and total strangers 
Re: Would you/Did you?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
But do you want kids now?
We want one in the next 2-3 years so I'm wondering if I might as well do myself a favor and at least try for one now. It's not like a switch is going to flip on my 30th birthday but if it takes us a while, I want to keep that in mind. I also have a family history of diabetes so I'm pretty health conscience - I work out, eat my fruits and veggies, don't smoke, and all my numbers are in great shape (cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.)
I think the actual relationship of those factors to your fertility may be less than you might think. I'd see what your actual doctor thinks of delaying conception and decreased fertility / increased risk of breast cancer.
I personally wouldn't change my kids timeline to arbitrarily lower my risk of breast cancer or for fear of infertility based on someone else's experiences. I'd guess you're toying with the idea because you are feeling ready though.
You could always just 'see what happens". No BC to speak of but don't 'try' for it. Don't track your ovulation or stress over it.
I know that isn't much of an answer but I try to be one of those 'If it's meant to happen" people.
Having regular intercourse without any attempt to prevent pregnancy is trying to get pregnant.
It's not trying on the same level as some couples do. Tracking, ovulation kits, charts and graphs and regular anxiety over having an oven with no bun.
So perhaps I should rephrase the not trying thing to "Acting like irresponsible teenagers" lol
None of those things cause pregnancy. Sex does. Last I checked, anxiety neither increases nor decreases chances of conception.
Oh goodness, this is true but she was just saying have sex and dont stress it like some others do, with charts and such and it becomes a job instead of sex.. Clearly sex equals a baby.
It would be a factor for me, but not the only one. It might push me into TTC at a pretty good time, instead of waiting for a perfect time (if such a thing even exists, which I'm starting to doubt).
I realize what she said, I disagree with advocating unprotected sex as not 'trying' to get pregnant simply because you don't do things that the majority of people in the world never do prior to pregnancy.
The reason I suggest it like that is because when the time comes, that is what we will do. A 'let it happen if it's supposed to' type of attitude. I don't believe there is a 'perfect time'...just a 'well it was time because it's happened."
That sounds..weird probably. I've seen friends get pregnant unplanned and rise to the occasion. I've seen people that should have no business breeding have kids. And I've seen people desperately try everything in their power to conceive. What it basically comes down to as a viewer is that all of it was meant to happen for one reason or another.
I could plan all I want to have a baby only to find out in five years that I'm unable to. It would devastate me because I want kids...but there would be a reason for it.
Maybe I sound like a big irresponsible new age hippie...it's just my skewed belief system.
I also have a family history of breast cancer and had also been told that it can reduce your risk to have kids under 30. Key word, can. It depends on a million other factors including the type of cancer that runs in your family IF there is even a common type of cancer that runs in your family.
I'd go ahead and meet with a doctor who specializes in cancer risk assessment as well as a fertility specialist before I had kids for those two specific reasons. Just because other people in your family had fertility issues and cancer does not mean you will have fertility issues or cancer.
Please don't just throw away your bc, and leave it up to chance. Having a baby is a big decision. Either do it intentionally, because you decide you're ready, or take active steps to prevent it. But if you're not taking active steps to prevent, you really are deciding that you're ready.
As for your actual question, I think there's being ready to get pregnant on paper (which it sounds like you are), and there's being ready emotionally and mentally. From what you've said, it sounds like you ARE ready, but I would try not to let the health concerns push you into something that you would rather do a year from now.
Baby Boxer is coming! 5.23.12
www.focushunting.com
nestthis.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and are trying to make logical decisions that work for you and your husband financially and emotional. Your future kids (if any), no matter when they are born, sound like they already have a leg up in life.