Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Lurker with a worry
I lurk, but I just got somewhat of a shock, and need a place to vent/worry.
I was talking to my Mom about my Dad's birthday, and she let it slip that they've been tightening down a bit money-wise. She never talks about their finances with me, so I asked her if she needed to talk about it.
Apparently my Dad is losing his job. The funding for his company is being pulled (he works for a private contractor that works for a government agency) and he has until October (they think) until he loses his job. Doesn't sound too bad that way - however, yesterday it was that the company's funds would end this month. I'm concerned that the October date could be moved up (because it is the government).
Luckily, my Dad's been in the industry since he was 18 (he's in his 60's now) so he has a lot of connections, and has already been offered overseas jobs.
I guess my question/worry is - how can I support them during this time? My Dad doesn't know my Mom told me, and my younger sisters don't know, and probably won't unless they need to move. They're in college still and can get a bit dramatic. I'm 26 and am fully, 100% financially independent from them and live 1000+ miles away. I'm not in a financial position to send them money, but I feel I should be doing something than just sending thoughts and prayers that he finds a job before they pull funding.
Any thoughts?
Re: Lurker with a worry
My dad is in the same predicament, except that he already lost his job. He was a military contractor for 11 years then funding was cut for his contract, he's been jobless for about 5 months now. I think the best you can do is just be there for them. Its a very frustrating time to be well qualified, do everything correctly and still get let go because of "funding issues" I as well work with the military and it is something I worry about all the time. Just be there when your parents call you, tell them you love them and it will work out, email job descriptions etc. Any little thing to help lift their spirits
I'm sorry to hear that your Dad already lost his job. The funding thing is so frustrating, especially with the government. Apparently the company didn't let their employees know that there weren't any other contracts out there besides the one they bid for and lost. So, that's just awesome. Not.
I'll keep focusing on them. I think we're going to get him a hefty gift card to his favorite brewery for his birthday, as he stopped drinking his favorite beer this past week to start saving money. So hopefully that will cheer him up!
your mom wasn't asking for support. keep it to yourself until your dad wants to tell you himself.
the fact is that you can't do ANYTHING until your dad tells you/asks you. it's HIS job and HIS place to tell you, not your mom's. dont worry about your sisters, dont worry about doing something other than sending thoughts and prayers-that's all tht you can do.
when your father is ready to tell you about the loss of his job he will. until then keep your mouth shut about it. your mom shouldnt' have told you, imo. ilost my job once and dh told his parents and suddenly everyone and their brother knew. that was worse than the actual job loss in hind sight because no one would leave me alone about it!
really-keep it to yourself and tell your mom that you dont want to hear about it and that she needs to elt your dad tell you.
totally agree with you that she shouldn't have told me. I'm not going to let my Dad know that I know, when he wants to and if he wants to he will. I can't imagine how he would feel if he knew that I know, and I don't want to do that to him.
We usually get him a gift card to this brewery for every birthday/Christmas, so getting him that won't make him think we know. Mouth is definitely shut on this topic, but I am glad for the reminder.
Thanks for the feedback on it. It's his situation and it's his business to share if he wants, and until then, I'm staying out of it. My mom ended up calling back and said they're not worried, they're sure it will work out and that she doesn't want me to think of it. So therefore, I won't talk about it unless he brings it up.