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I just found out a very dear friend is getting divorced....
So I just found out that a very dear friend of mine is getting divorced....from her husband. On FB. He wanted to wish me the best with the rest of my pregnancy and I said something like "you and xxxx should have one so ours can be friends" and he was like, you don't know?
So, long story short, a very dear friend is getting a divorce. I feel like such an a$$hole for not knowing. Clearly, she didn't tell me for a reason - I think i've been so wrapped up in this baby sh!t I've been a bad friend. There have definitely been signs in hindsight, but nothing on its own to indicate what was happening.
How do I approach her? I just want her to know that I'm here for her in whatever she needs, but I also dont know if I should wait for her to tell me?
I just don't know what to do. Help.
Re: I just found out a very dear friend is getting divorced....
Agreed. When I got divorced, many people didn't know there was any trouble because I'm just not one to tell the entire world stuff like that.
I would call her and tell her you just heard and wish her the best. And listen if she wants to talk about it.
When DH1 and I split up, I lost track of who I had told or not, and after a while just assumed everyone knew. My friends and family asked my permission to tell people (which was nice - they didn't want to be Gossip Central), and I was so relieved when I didn't have to tell the story one more time.
You're not a bad friend, and your friend has been on another planet. She's probably thinking you have enough to think about with a baby on the way, and would welcome a phone call from a dear friend.
Thanks everyone. I think for now, I will give it a few days and see if she reaches out to me. Given that her and STBXH are still living under the same roof, I'm sure he will mention that he told me (he had NO idea I didnt know).
If she doesnt say anything, I will just send her an email to let her know I'm thinking about her and if she needs anything to give me a call.
Perfect.
Agree. I'd do this preemptively, rather than wait for her - just on the outside chance she hears from him that you now know, and then wonders, "Well WTF, is she still so busy she can't ask me directly?" KWIM?
And ditto the others - not like that's the hottest news to have to make loved ones aware of. Just put up the flag of availability.
DH and I were separated for a time. I liked it when friends called me directly to see how I was doing and let me talk about it or not. Then try to invite her to coffee or dinner or some follow up get together.
The people who left me alone were not helpful because I needed help but I felt bad taking up their time because I didn't know if I was being a bother or not and clearly I didn't need that stress. Actually the best was when my friends just told me they were coming over and bringing pizza and a funny movie (that dealt nothing with romance.).