Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
s/o too pretty article follow-up US vs UK?
Just read the follow-up article and was wondering what you all make of this:
I have lived and worked in Los Angeles and I doubt that such a reaction to my piece would have happened there. For in the U.S. you're expected to look good and you're rightly applauded for it.
No woman would ever dare to go to work in a pair of Uggs, grubby top and tracksuit bottoms (and expect to receive tea and sympathy for having a fat day).
Unsurprisingly then, over in the U.S. there just isn't the same level of female jealously, snippiness and rivalry that there is the UK.
Is it any wonder Victoria Beckham has decided to stay put in LA, rather than move back to Hertfordshire? She knows better than anyone how your looks can be used against you in Britain - here we reward false modesty instead and gang up against anyone who isn't suitably self-deprecating.
Re: s/o too pretty article follow-up US vs UK?
Well, I'm not "pretty", so I guess I wouldn't know if pretty people get treated differently in the UK vs the US. It seems to me like people where I live in the UK aren't quite as obsessed with their looks as most Americans are, and are more focused on having an individual style instead of being classically pretty.
But seriously? "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!"???? Nobody anywhere would react well to an article about how much life sucks for pretty people.
Okay, I'm just going to say it. If this is about the British woman who thinks she's "too pretty," I've seen the pictures of her and she's either deluded, visually-impaired, or this is a publicity stunt.
I live in London and there are GORGEOUS girls here. GORGEOUS. She simply doesn't hold a candle. She is not unattractive - she's certainly well-groomed and pretty - but she's definitely not the knockout she purports to be.
As to whether the treatment "too pretty" women receive is true, I do think there's SOME validity to her statements.
She's clueless isn't she? Less snippiness? Has she not seen peoples twitter accounts, read US magazines or talked to a single American woman? Out of her mind!
That's my feeling too. Clearly no one has forwarded her the ML thread...
Here's her Today Show interview with Ann Curry:
http://jezebel.com/5899846/ann-curry-asks-samantha-brick-are-you-serious
Thanks for that. I agree with this comment:
[...] I do think though that her entire premise is beyond flimsy. My own experience is that women do not hate other women that they perceive as beautiful and her original assertion, that attractive women could not have female friends, is patently ridiculous. [...] I've got some utterly gorgeous girlfriends who I not only adore, but would happily leave alone with my husband any time. I've also met women (attractive and not attractive) who behave very differently around men and women and it's that, not their looks, that is likely to make me suspicious of them.It's also interesting that in this interview she says that she uses "I" over 60 times because she's writing about her own experience and that, if she was writing about women in general, she would have written the article very differently. Except she does exactly that, she extrapolates her own unique experience to make really offensive generalisations about all women. The fact that she stubbornly refuses to acknowledge that it is this, rather than 'bitches be jealous' that's triggered the avalanche of anger she's been on the receiving end of is astonishing.I agree that the Mail set her up horribly, and I see that she is trying to somewhat backpedal from her original piece now, but **, this woman is her own worst enemy. She's insulted all women with a statement (women hate beauty because they're jealous and threatened by it) that is demonstrably untrue and far away from most women's experience. She needs to own that and apologise or STFU.
eta - I kind of regret the interview not focusing on the wrong generalization made that women hate other prettier women. That alone would have challenged this woman's obnoxious attitude better than the "you're not that pretty" argument.
I don't know because I am "not pretty." But I have a gorgeous sister who says she has dealt with some jealousy at work and it all stopped once she got pregnant.
Again - I am not pretty. I had a gorgeous coworker who did receive A TON of attention from men and that made me angry. And she did use that type of attention (extremely flirtatious). The women there didn't even care. I was annoyed at men's reaction to her - it seemed they thought she was much more capable than she was because she was good looking. The way men compare women and value them highly on appearance irks me.
I just don't see the drawbacks to being considered beautiful.
I think with the woman above, maybe it's easier to say, "I didn't get that promotion because I am beautiful" rather than say, "it's because I am not talented enough.