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Advice Needed for Friend
So I thought I might ask you for a little advice, here?s the story:
My friend is married to my fiance's cousin, they have been married for about 2 yrs now.
Her family lives about 2 hrs away and she doesn?t get to see them a lot.
So she went over there the other day and her little brother asked her stay overnight so she called her husband and explained that she was going to stay overnight. He proceeds to chew her out for over 45min on the phone and demands she come home. So she leaves at 10:30 at night and doesn?t get home till 12:30. Now during this conversation it got brought up that they never have sex and alex says ?f&$# that I?d rather jack off in the bathroom than do that?.
I guess what I?m wondering is how do I respond to this? When she tells me these things I usually just nod my head and try not to say much but I?m wondering if there is any advice I can give her? She says the marriage is not so hot and they are in trouble. I tried telling her to just talk to him about it how she feels about the situation but he gets very defensive.
Is there anything I can do or say for my friend?
Re: Advice Needed for Friend
This is a situation where I might try to pose some questions to her to get her thinking more about her life and what she wants.
Where does she see this going? What steps can she take to fix things - if they can even be fixed? Does her DH express interest in getting help? Is this the life she wants for herself 5, 10, 15 years from now?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I know if suggested couple's couseling it would get turned down because he doesn't believe in it. I'm just sure if she would go through counseling or not.
I can see why you usually remain silent and don't want to put yourself in the middle. I think it's a good idea for you to give her some things to think about like the other poster suggested.
If he isn't willing to talk about it.....isn't willing to go to couples counseling......doesn't want to have sex with her and would rather masterbate.......then perhaps she needs to ask herself if this is the life she wants. She needs to sit down with him and talk to him. If he refuses to work at their relationship then she needs to do what is best for her. A relationship/marriage is work and both parties need to be willing to put in that work and effort of it's not going to last.