Starting Over
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Monday morning poll
Yep, with my XH. I didn't regret it until 10 years later. LOL
**I should add that we worked together and this was after some serious flirting for months and a drunken make out session in my car after a company picnic. While it was technically our first DATE, he was not a stranger by any means.
If I had sex with a guy, in his truck, on a first date, I'd be worried he would start to think of me as just a sex buddy too.
While that sounds spontaneous and hot... I would not do that on a first date. If I really like a guy I do not give it up on the first date, or even the second. I want to get to know a person better and in my experience sex too soon can get in the way of really sorting out my feelings.
That is just my personal thing though. I have heard about it working out for some couples... and I have heard a lot of my guy friends talking crap about any girl that sleeps with them on the first date. Just my experience.
PS- I do not think people who have sex on the first date are always a "ho" lol
Yea. I have. Of course, it was with a guy I had known for awhile by that point, we were just then starting to date. We dated for over a year and remained friends afterwards.
Now, if it is a guy I don't know (like the guy a friend wants to set me up with), that will not be happening.
Same here- you had sex in his truck on a first date???? Sorry, but that just screams easy to me.
Ugh... you know what after thinking about it... My no BS reaction to this is that if he was a gentleman then he is looking for a lady. Jumping him in the truck on the first date doesn't scream lady to me. Yes guys want a "freak in the bed" but, you have to be a lady first.
Sorry. I know it is easy to get carried away though, hopefully it works outs.
I didn't have sex with him in his truck, that is where things got started. Yeah potatoes, patatoes, I get it. We already have a second date, we are going to a hockey game this week .
I just hate the double standard that exists for women. I NEVER do anything like this, but for once I gave in and now I'm not a "lady" or I'm "easy" wtf it means to be a "lady" in 2012.
I feel the need to special snowflake. So I went on a date with someone I had known my whole life (he and I were actually supposed to go to prom together but I ditched him for someone else). I had hung out with him really casually two times before. One time we just visited at my house for about two hours, catching up, and the next time was the night before the date when he came over and we ended up making out.
He was a real "don't take no for an answer" sort of person. I had too much wine at dinner and when we went back to my house things went too far. I did say "no" but probably not firmly enough and we ended up "sort of" having sex as in a "just the tip" kind of deal.
Looking back it makes me really angry at him that he didn't respect my boundaries and was a huge red flag, but I also know I could have been more firm with the "no" and brought things to a screeching halt instead of just being wishy washy about it.
It does suck about the double standard, but it exists and probably always will. I just had this disussion with a guy friend Fri night. He told me that he loses respect for a girl if she sleeps with him on the first night. I have done it, but only if I don't want it to turn into a relationship. Maybe your situation with this dude will be different.
I didn't say you weren't lady, the behavior was not lady like. Sorry, that doesn't mean it is wrong, but if you felt confident about it you would be asking for opinions.
I have no double standard. He was acting like a gentlman, up until the having sex on the first date thing. I would not want to date a guy who was too sexually agressive on the first date. I want someone who appreciates me for more than my body and I think I have a better chance of that if they get to know me for a longer period of time before sex.
Sorry.
No judgement from me, abear. I think you should have sex when you want to have sex with the person. If he's into you it will work out. If he's not, you'll find someone else.
This is the way I'm starting to do things. I had a date a few weeks ago who was so sweet to me, very romantic, spent dinner gazing into my eyes and telling me he could fall for me, but when the date was over, he was shoving my hand down his pants and begging to come home with me. Yuck. I guess this guy was just polar opposite, and I really liked it. I feel like if a "relationship" is meant to be, its not going to matter when/whether we sleep together. I however, would NEVER allow a man to pressure me into it if I don't want to.
I think this too. It's NMS to sleep with someone on a first date, generally speaking, but I also think that if something is meant to work out it will. I slept with BF fairly "soon" by standard terms but it hasn't hindered things in the least.
This.
I agree that if you feel it's right, then do it. Just don't be surprised if it doesn't work out, because I think that, for the most part, it doesn't. Good luck. I hope that things work out between you and this new guy.