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How to help husband with weight loss..
Hi ladies,
I am newly married and adjusting to cooking for two people, plus trying to make it healthy. I feel that I have been successful in keeping off the newly married pounds. However, my husband is very upset about his weight. He played football in college and fell off the workout wagon, but still has the eating habits of someone that works out like a college athlete. This morning before work he was extremely upset with himself and said I haven't weighed this much in long time and I know its fat, not muscle weight.
I have bad knees and ankles from injuries myself, but I am trying to get back to the gym. I am trying to encourage him to come with me, but we have not been consistent. What are some ways that I can be supportive and help him to feel like he is making progress with weight loss? I know I can't do work outs for him, but I want to help so he doesn't feel bad about himself. I want him to be successful, because diabetes runs in his family, as well as other heart aliments.
Does anyone have any advice?
Re: How to help husband with weight loss..
I think you can be supportive by cooking healthy meals and keeping mostly healthy food and easy to grab healthy snacks in your house, but he is going to have to do most of the work. When you do activities together, you can suggest either active ones or at least not eating-centric activities. Also, when you do want to go out to eat together, you can suggets places with healthier food and set a good example by making smart choices for your meal.
This is a really tough thing because so much of it relies on him making good decisions for himself and, even if he would allow you to make all of the choices for him, that isn't really good for either of you because he is a grown man and you are not his mom, kwim?
Duke's House: Eating and Running with the Big Dog in Chennai: eatrunbrit.com
2010 Race PRs:
5K - 24:57 10M - 1:28:20 13.1M - 1:57:29 26.2M - 4:28:29
My SO was extremely overweight coming out of college. He's extremely motivated to work out and goes to the gym almost daily and he will eat very healthy, but only if it's convenient for him to do so (this is where I come in). I make most of his food, and everything else I prep and have easily accessible in the fridge, or pantry for him to make himself. I'll wash and spin lettuce, cut up fruit and veggies, make a big crockpot meal (usually turkey chili, or soups? I use weight watcher recipes) so he can dish it out and heat it up, and I always have healthy soups on hand in the pantry (trader joes makes some great ones). For snacks, he loves frozen mango, popcorn (I make it on the stove), veggies with fat free yogurt dip, frozen yogurt, etc. When we go out to eat, I usually make a few suggestions where there are healthy options, and he'll decide where he wants to go.
The bottom line is he ultimately needs to hold himself accountable. Ask him what he needs from you, support wise and just do what you can to help him. SO also did weight watchers for close to a year. He requested that I go to the meetings with him, which I was happy to do (they gave me permission to go without my paying since I do not need to lose weight and was only there to support him). I highly recommend weight watchers? even I learned so much from the meetings! SO loved it because it gave him someone else to be accountable to every week.
I found that packing his lunches helps keep him from eating fast food for lunches. I also try to cook healthy meals. I weigh out the food onto a plate for each of us so that he doesn't do his "man-scoop" size portions. I also convinced him to start tracking everything in MFP.
Even though this post sounds like I am controlling him and his food, I'm really not. He loves it when I make him meals and have a plate ready for him.
As far as exercise goes, can you talk him into talking the dog on a walk with you? Or having a romantic sunset walk?
Ditto everything Brit said. All you can really do is set a good example and cook healthy meals and hope that eventually he'll take it upon himself to be more active.
You could encourage him to get involved in activities that he would enjoy that are coincidentally a bit of a workout. If he played football in college, encourage him to go out and join a flag football team or a rec league. Likewise, you could encourage him to join a gym that requires accountability and has a social aspect to encourage you, like CrossFit.
I'm still figuring out how to cook healthier meals (vs. not cooking at all and eating mostly cereal and bread type foods), but vegetables seem to be key in making it healthy. This is mostly because you can eat a lot of volume of most vegetables without consuming a lot of calories - unless of course you drench them in oil/butter/cheese etc. My FI and I are kind of similar to your husband in that we had both been competitive athletes for a long time, but we're in a slump now where we're working out less and not competing, and it's hard to eat less on days we don't work out. Most of the time I start off lunch and dinner with a big (2 servings) romaine salad with tomatoes, a little bit of blue cheese, and balsamic vinegar for dressing. This salad is fairly filling and low calorie, and it takes a while to eat so it feels like you're eating a lot. You can use other dressings, but be careful not to turn a light salad into 400 calories of fatty dressing. Then follow up with a reasonably sized portion of meat (or veggie protein in my case) and maybe some carbs (pasta, rice, roll, etc) or more vegetables. Yogurt with fruit makes a good dessert. Eating healthy is most of losing/maintaining weight. I work out some though, because if I don't I'll eat too much.
Does your husband pack lunch for work or eat out every day? I think that's one of the things that can make the biggest difference actually - pack a healthy lunch. This is definitely something you can help him with if he's not doing it already. Entrees at most restaurants are way more calories than they should be, often you can eat 1000-1500 calories just by eating a big burger and fries, which is at least half or more of what you should be eating for the whole day. When he played football, a big meal like that was reasonable after working out, but if he's not working out at all or for less than an hour a day, it's way too much.
On the psychological side of things (I am not a psychologist, this is just personal experience), you can show your support by gently encouraging him and praising him for making progress. If he gets discouraged, remind him that change doesn't happen overnight, this is a long-term thing. Be positive, but don't be afraid to say that eating healthily doesn't end when he gets down to whatever his desired weight is, it's going to have to be something you both do your whole lives. This is true for everyone, eating healthy should be something we all do our whole lives. That doesn't mean we can't have the occasional burger or chocolate cake, etc, it's all about moderation.
A healthy lifestyle is more than just the number on the scale. My DH and I workout separately most days, but we do go to the track together one day a week. We also try and maintain an active lifestyle on the weekends. We take the dog for walks, work in the yard, or participate in sports together (tennis/kickball).
I would start to have healthier foods available at home. My DH still eats what I would consider a meat and potatoes diet, but he has improved immensely since we got married. I just keep introducing new/healthier alternatives to his traditional fair.