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I can't deal with my mother
We all know she's been a GIANT pain about everything in my life...nothing I do is right and definitely isn't good enough for her. The latest issue has been the baby shower. She doesn't like parties, so therefore, I should get to have one. I went through 2 weeks of hell to get her to commit to a place, including a half hour on the phone Saturday while she was hysterical about the time..because clearly a half-hour is a huge difference apparently and then she sat in parking lot of the post office for an HOUR...still about the time. It was ridiculous. She was doing everything she possibly could to stall this and try to stop it from happening. The whole time, she kept throwing the cost of it in my face...except I'd get emails saying "dont look at the price of the place, pick what you like. I heard things like "Why won't you take a crib instead of this thing?" "I could have engineered hardwood in the basement for the cost of this" "Does X need to be invited anyway?" It was awful.
So the invites finally went out on Saturday...I thought this would all get better (why I thought that after the previous 29 years of my life is beyond me). So today, I get a phone call when the first person RSVP'd. It was one of my friend's mom's saying she would be there, but she wasn't sure if my friend could be there because she has to work on Friday night and doesn't know that she could get home in time on Saturday for the shower. My mother finds a way to turn this from "oh bummer, but it happens", which is how I would have taken it....to "We should have done it on Sunday at this place like I want because now I feel guilty. Oh god, why couldn't you have just taken the crib" uhh, a) you never mentioned that you really wanted it at this place...it's just an easy way to make something else a big deal. b) zip it about the crib...clearly having a shower and celebrating with everyone at home is important to me...stopping making this all about you for once.
Then I got a second phone call..I didn't answer this time (I'm learning). My grandmother's friend got a book at the dollar tree for me (my friend gave me the idea to ask for a book instead of a card and have a bookplate for them to fill out at the shower to put in the book with a message to baby) and my grandmother doesn't know how I was going to know it was going to be from her if I didn't want people to write in the book itself. So my mother leaves a message whining about this and "I hope you have a response because I don't. Why couldn't you have just taken the crib" OMG.....I'm going to flip on her. SO glad I didn't answer her phone call. And if I have to hear about the f'ing crib one more time, it's not going to be pretty. Everything has to be about her and what she wants or it ends up in a massive fight or issue. Why wouldn't you want to make your daughter feel good about something and not make her feel guilty about everything.
I'm sure this sound whiny, but after so many years of this crap...I've just had it. My dad tries to make things better, but she's worse than a toddler...she throws tantrums until she gets her way or makes your life miserable.
Sorry..if you've made it this far...kudos to you! /vent
Re: I can't deal with my mother
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
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That's what is frustrating...it said on the invite insert about the book that a bookplate would be there for them to fill out and put in the book at the shower, so unless they just ignore the table when they walk in, it should be an issue! But she has to make everything I do an issue.
4'11" girl doesn't take kindly to people (including moms) causing unnecessary drama for my nestie besties. Just sayin
Sorry sweetie! Hugs!
Sorry I misread that when reading your post. I'd say just don't worry about it then. Guests will figure it out. It's your shower and your day- enjoy it! If someone writes in the book, oh well. It's not a huge deal you know? And I give you so much credit for putting up with your mom. Big hugs for you!
So sorry... I know you've shared how awful things have been in the past... I'm sorry you're having to go through this...
Hugs
'Your mother does sound like a child. It's ridiculous to think that a grown adult would act like this.
However, I have to say that I giggled at her 'Why couldn't you just take the crib!' response to everything.
"What do you want for dinner?" "WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST TAKEN THE CRIB!!!!"
I have no idea why it's so funny to me, but it's early in the morning, so there you go.
I'm so sorry your mom is ruining something that should be so enjoyable for you. I know how frustrating it is when moms can't act like adults about stuff and always need to be so controlling!
I do like your idea about everybody bringing a book. I think that will be fun.
But I do love the book idea! I want to do that now when we're finally ready!