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Wedding gift etiquette question
We have two weddings coming up where neither couple has registered. This is the first time this has happened to me. What is the etiquette for gifts in this situation? What do you normally do? I am totally stumped.
I'm originally from CT where my norm is to give $$$. Now I live in AL, where that is not the norm, andplusalso, I don't want to give $$$ to either of these couples.
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Re: Wedding gift etiquette question
That's odd that they didn't register in an area that you say usually
doesn't give cash at weddings. Maybe they have been dragging their feet?
How about a gift card?
I can tell you what not to buy from my experience with
wedding returns in my job: frames and/or vases.
ftw
Ooh, right, this reminded me, Wilton Armatale metal serveware.
Always a good idea.
if they are young (not that older couples don't need these) you could go to the useful things, TP, Paper towels everyone needs those...gift cards could pick a room (ie kitchen) and go from there
One couple is my age (34), and they have both been on their own for a while, so they are like my H and I were - merging two houses worth of stuff, which is why I think they didn't register (plus they are having a small wedding). If it's left up to the groom - our friend - I'm guessing he'd say not to bring a gift.
The other couple is about 30 - I'm honestly still trying to figure out WTF is going on with their wedding. I really don't even want to go, but it's one of those situations where I kind of have to. Since this wedding has been thrown together in about 6 weeks, I don't think it's even occurred to the bride to register. She still lives like she lives in a college apartment.
Ugh. My husband has said "If you don't register, can you even expect a gift?" I have no clue.
Do they drink?
Could you do something like a wine of the month club?
I had to google what a beanpot is. I cook a lot, and I'd never use one.
What about an Amex gift card? If you want to get more wedding-y personal, a gift card to a place like Williams Sonoma. Even people with a stocked kitchen can find a reason to splurge there, even if it's just on the foodstuffs.
Or you could go the dept store route. They can buy fancy towels if they want or blow it on shoes.
Oooo....you could give them a filled wine rack. We got a really nice bottle of Scotch. Like, super nice. So nice we haven't opened it yet.
ETA: The nice thing about the beanpot is that you can do pasta bakes or other crock-pot like stuff, but for 2. Just dump everything in and toss it in the oven. I have the Home & Garden Party one with the carrying basket.
One thing we got that we definitely didn't register for but loved was a set of deep pasta bowls with a few nicer jars of marinara and a few boxes of "good" spaghetti.
We also got an electric knife that we love.
I also second (third?) the towel recommendation. We desperately needed them and didn't get them from anyone.
My Cooking Blog
I can speak as someone who didn't register. Many of my friends and family were very annoyed that we didn't register but we didn't need any stuff. I was just happy if people wanted to attend the wedding. For those who asked about gifts, I spread the word that we wanted experiences - GCs for the movies or a restaurant or an activity in town. A nice wine or liqueur is also a great gift, if they drink. We also received a fair number of Home Depot/Lowe's gift cards which I really enjoyed.
I do somewhat regret not registering because I got a bunch of stuff that just went straight to the donation pile. If you get them a non-consumable, consider giving a gift receipt. I was shocked at how many people didn't do that when I always thought that it was standard. But then, I didn't register so no complaining allowed
I'm not sure how I got into the habit, but left to my own devices I send a nice blender that would be an upgrade for most people (Waring if they're drinkers, KitchenAid if they're more cooks), but buy from a store that is local and include a gift receipt. I sort of figure if they don't do a registry I'm allowed to "do what I want", but I include the receipt in case.
This is what I'd do. A GC to a nice local restaurant.
I like this idea, too
One of our fave wedding gifts was a cheese of the month club from one of my BMs. Altho that may be more than you want to spend, so restaurant is nice.