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Friend advice needed!
Lurker here....I really need some advice on a friend of mine who appears to have gone crazy since her FI left her 2 months ago.
Some back story...she was supposed to marry her FI of 10 years this October (engaged for 2 years). In February he moved out completely out of the blue, saying he didn't want to get married or have more children (she helped raise his daughter from another woman since she was 6 months old, as well as supporting him while he went through school).
She started dating a guy from the internet 1 month ago. Another friend of mine and I found out that he is going to prison sometime this month for being arrested for a meth lab in his basement. Then today, she told me the great news that she's ENGAGED to him, and sent me a picture of the ring.
I've known this girl for 20+ years, and know her family. Should I contact her family to let them know what's going on (they are out of state) or just let her completely F*ck up her life? I know she's an adult, but this is totally crazy what she's doing. What would you do??
FYI, we are all 29.
Re: Friend advice needed!
i wouldn't call her family.
i would ask a ton of questions under the guise of curiosity and hopefully she'll realize on her own what a huge mistake she's making.
also, can you even get married while in prison?? i think this will fizzle out on it's own.
Hell yes you can.
The question is WTF would you want to?
I would not contact her family. I don't think that would help and would probably send her into a "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW AWESOME HE IS" tirade.
I don't know what the right answer is. You cannot convince her that she's doing the wrong thing. Maybe if you ask her what her motivation for marrying a meth head, maybe something will click in her head that this is a really ridiculous idea.
I know what would cure her. Have her tour the prison he'll be in, that'll scare anyone straight. Prison is scary, yo.
Well, I did talk to her tonight and ask why it's such a quick engagement....to which she stated that when you find happiness, you need to hold on to it and not let it go. Thankfully she also said they were waiting until he get out of prison before getting married.
She also said her parents know and they want her to be happy, but I have no doubt they have no clue about the whole meth lab/prison thing. No idea what she's going to tell them as to why he's gone for 2 years.
There is no way she will actually get married. She's acting out bc of the terrible ending from her previous relationship.
Im very sure that she will (a) get tired of talking through a plate glass window and (b) get tired of making excuses for her meth head fianc?.
Theres really nothing you can do but let her figure this out on her own. And then maybe tell her I told you so.
Also: dear lord in heaven, please don't let no babies be borned from this unholy union.
Uhm wow. All I have to say about that site. And do people in prison get to use the internet?? That sure seems like an unnecessary privilege.
Amen.
Also, I feel really bad for your friend about the demise of her last relationship. She may feel like she waited for 10 years before just to get screwed over. So, why not grab the bull by the horns now (pretty much the opposite tack).
She needs to slow her roll and just chill, but if she does go through with it she could have at least picked someone who is not a fooking drug trafficker. JFC