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Dating may start soon for me
Posted this on my blog, but I thought I would get opinons from SO too
Friday, a friend of mine told me that she has a guy she wants to set me up with. It is an old friend of hers. He was visiting and made comment of ?I?m single so if you know anyone?? and she thought of me. She showed me his picture and told me a bit about him so I told her to go ahead and set us up.
I started thinking after that. I have not been on a first date in over 5 ? years. All together I have been on 4 first dates: movie with my ex-fianc?, comedy club with my ex-boyfriend, double date dinner with a blind date that did not go well, and a movie with my ex-husband. With everyone, except for the blind date, I was already friends with them before we had our first date. While I did have first date jitters with them, I was already comfortable being around them.
Here I am, about to start dating again as a newly single woman, and I feel so unsure. What is expected on a first date? How do I dress? How much information do I give? (She has already told him that I am about to finalize my divorce. I am assuming she will warn him that I am a mother as well.) Do I call or wait for him to call after the first date? Should he pay if he is the one to ask me out or do we split the check? I am sure that between now and I am asked out for the first time (whether it be him or someone else) about a hundred other questions will go through my mind. I am about 99% sure that I am worrying over nothing and that I am making a bigger deal about it than I need to. But alas, this is me.
Re: Dating may start soon for me
1. Take a deep breath!
2. Wear something you feel comfortable but cute in. Depends on what your doing...but I think the "typical" outfit is nice jeans/top and heels.
3. Have no expectations that way you're not let down but possibly can be pleasantly surprised.
4. Don't be an oversharer on the first day....ask questions about him, and answer what he has for you. I'd avoid hot topic stuff (politics/religion/etc). I wouldn't go into details on why your divorcing, if he asks. Keep it light and for the love of Pete, don't spend all night yapping about your ex! (I went out with a few guys who spent the majority of the night talking about the ex...yuck)
5. If at the end of the night, he says he'll call I'd wait it out.
6. I tend to do the "reach" for the check, but have never been allowed to pay for it.
7. Good luck and have fun!!
Well I think first you might want to think about expectations here. He's visiting? From how far away? What would be the point of the date, just for you both to get out there? If you do develop something are you okay with a long distance thing?
Regarding the actual date. I would expect him to set up the date. Tell your friend to pass along your contact info (whatever you are comfortable with). If he asks you out, he should pay, but I do think it's nice to offer. Dress is difficult to say until date has been planned, so cross that bridge later. I don't give out much personal information on first date because I think it's totally boring. I mean the basics, here's what I do for a job, I have two dogs, whatever. But I try to keep the conversation light and upbeat.
Could you double with your friend? That might make it a lot easier and more fun for both of you.
I do like the idea of the double date thing. I may be bring that up to her.
Thanks for the tips. I always tend to overthink things. I will keep you updated on if things progress... yikes
GOOD LUCK!
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.