Military Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
husband just left...
I am new to the whole posting thing though I have been lurking for a while...
My husband just left for basic training. It was something that was decided rather quickly. I was just wondering if him being gone ever gets easier?
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Re: husband just left...
When my husband left for basic training, I couldn't fall asleep without writing him an installment to his weekly letter. It helped me mentally stay in contact with him, even though we was only able to write once a week. I also found a good forum (that is no longer in existence, sadly) that was filled with military significant others. I also had school and work to occupy my time.
Some days are better than others, some, one just wants to just sit and cry. Just try to stay positive!
You will get more used to it as time passes. Its only, what, 2 months? I wrote my H a letter every night and mailed it in the morning when I walked to school when he was in basic.
Also if your screenname is your real name you should delete everything and make a new one and come back to reintroduce yourself. Too many nutsos out there and PERSEC is super important.
First off, welcome to the board!
Second of all, yes it does get easier. Like the other ladies said, stay busy.
I was in college when my hubby went to bootcamp (he was my boyfriend then) but I eventually got adjusted and for me it really helped writing letters every day.
When he goes now it takes me a few nights to get adjusted but I eventually get used to sleeping alone and I have my own routine!
He'll be back before you know it!
For us, the goodbyes get harder and harder every time. However, getting through the separation gets easier.
Staying busy helps. I pretty much pack our schedule with all sorts of things. We are off and running every weekend. If you give your self other things to look forward to, it will break the time up. Have something small to look forward to every week and one big thing a month. Weekly, we have things like movie night, dinner with friends, a ball game at the minor league park, a movie and pic nic in the park on the weekend and so on. Once a month, we have a concert, a road trip, a camping trip, out of town visitors, a theme park or something of the sort.
Writing him letters is also good for both of you. When H is gone, I write him a letter before bed every day. It makes me feel better to get every thing out and he loves hearing about our day.
When I was in Basic, meal time and mail call got me through the crappy days. Just a simple note from home made good days amazing and bad days worth it. They are completely cut off from the out side world in Basic. I loved hearing news from home. Things like ball game scores, gossip from around town, and little news snip its were priceless. They made me feel like I was still a part of the world and not so secluded.
Also, I ditto the suggestion to change your SN if it is your name. PERSEC (personal security) and OPSEC (operational security) are two things you should start being vigilant about.
I agree with the bold. I don't know personally if it really gets easier, but you get used to it.
I wrote letters everyday. Cute out cartoons from the paper and taped them in the letter, or did the same with articles about his favorite sports teams. I wrote about the most mundane things, but he said that was his favorite part.
So you shall now be known as Butt Monkey?
thats Mrs. Buttmonkey to you ;D
its from one of my favorite episodes of Buffy
I don't know if it gets easier, or if you just get more used to it, but it did become less painful over time. When DH left for bootcamp(we were weren't married or engaged yet) we had been living together for 2 years and he was literally taken from my bed at 4:30 in the morning on my first day at my first "real job." It sucked. It was honestly harder on me than his first deployment because it was such a huge change from our typical day-to-day life.
I started to feel much better after the first week or so and eventually started to feel much stronger and confident. I learned to be more independent and I grew as a person quite a bit.
Writing letters helped A LOT! Even though he could only write once a week, I felt much more connected to him. I felt like he was hearing how my day went, how I'm liking my new job, etc.
Keep busy! My new job had kept me very busy and kept my mind off things, but once I got home is when I had trouble. I would spend hours at the dog park just to stay away from our home. I don't think this really helped because I was more avoiding everything. When I stopped trying to avoid the house and found a way to deal with it at home, it was much better. Instead of going to the dog park for hours, As soon as I got home, I would sit out on the back patio and write DH a letter while the puppy played. Figure out when the difficult time for you is....is it when you get home? is it when you're getting ready for bed? is it another time?...and write your letters then!
Every person's experience is different and everyone deals with their experiences differently. Be open minded and remember he will be home soon!
Everyone is different.
It has definitely gotten easier and easier for us. But it helps that I have picked up a ton of hobbies and made a lot of new friends the past couple years. I feel like my life is go-go-go while he is gone and it makes the time FLY by. Last deployment went crazy fast and H is getting ready to deploy again in a bit.. I think it'll be even "faster" haha...
Hope things get easier for you two!