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WWYD?" Friend" advice question
I have a friend / former colleague who I'm having a small issue with and I'd love to hear opinions on what I should do at this point.
Background: The two of us were fairly close while I was working for my former employer, but once I left, I kind of purposefully took a BIG step back from most things related to the org for my own mental sanity. Said friend and I have only hung out twice since I've left; once for a lunch date, and once for drinks with other colleagues after work.
Said friend had her car (probably wrongfully) impounded back in January. The fees to get it out of impound were more than the car was worth, so she decided to sign the car over, and asked me to take her to go get a "small bag of stuff" out of the car before she signed the paperwork. She asked me to meet her across the street from our old office at 7:00 am the Monday after my last day. I showed, she stood me up. Later that day, she profusely apologized (apparently she overslept), and asked me to come again the next day, which I did. We headed the hour out to the impound lot, where proceeded to fill my ENTIRE backseat with crap from her car.
This was on Jan.17th.
It's now April 11th. I have been trying since Jan. 17th to set up a time with her to give her her stuff, and I've been trying to do so on a weekend (Friday night, Sat anytime, or Sunday anytime) because (a) she works super late during the week (just like I used to) and (b) if I'm not in my parking lot at my complex by 7pm during the week, I have to park up to a mile away.
I've tried pretty much every weekend I've been in town since then, but to no avail. Two weekends ago, she finally agreed to let me drop it off on Sunday afternoon, and then cancelled early Sunday morning (for the umpteenth time). I tried to set something up for this past Sunday, which she agreed to, but when I tried to confirm on Thursday, she cancelled once again (apparently she has dance practice).
When I tried to get her to give me another date, she simply stopped responding. I've tried sending a text msg, fb message, and email (she doesn't answer calls, so I don't even try), but I'm not getting any response from her.
At this point, it's been almost 3 months since she piled my car with all of this crap, and I really, REALLY want it out of my car. I don't really have a place to store it in my apartment, and, quite frankly, I'm not a freaking storage company! Andplusalso, if I take it out of my car, I'll just have to put it back in there to take it to her because she didn't get a replacement vehicle. I'd just drop it off at our former office, but I'd feel bad making her try to get all of that stuff home on the metro.
Any suggestions on what to do at this point. I'm coming *this* close to throwing it all in a dumpster, but I'd feel pretty horrible about that, so in my car it still sits. Sigh. 
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
Re: WWYD?" Friend" advice question
1. The car was probably impounded correctly. Not too many eff ups in that department.
2. I'd call her, leave a message that you will be at her place at this time and this date to drop off her stuff and if she isn't there you'll save her the trouble of rescheduling and just leave it outside of her house/apt/condo/whatever so she can get it back. If she tries to reschedule, ignore. And follow through. Remember, you are doing her a favour by dropping the stuff off.
I've seen the aforementioned pile o junk in your car. Its a lot of stuff!
I would drop it off at her office. Its her problem and she can deal with it there, either bit by bit on the Metro, Zipcar, or by asking another friend to bring it to her place.
Yup. If she is this flaky about her stuff and also chose not to fight the impound thing, the car was definitely impounded correctly.
And I agree. You are doing her a favor. Stop catering to her. If she lives in a place where that makes it impossible, then I will tell her that if she is not home when you come by, you are going to Goodwill that afternoon to bring other stuff, and you will drop her stuff off there when you go. Even if you have no other stuff to bring, pretend that you do, and stick with the plan. I would text her several times to remind her that this is the plan so she knows you are serious.
I agree with this- I would tell her you are free X day and you will be at her place. If she's not there, leave it outside. This is getting ridiculous. You also have been doing her a favor by storing the junk in your car. The other option would be to leave a message saying if you don't hear from her about a time to give it back (without her cancelling last minute) you will be throwing it out.
Dont' throw it out. All you need is some whack job taking you to small claims court for her pile'o'crap.
I agree with contacting her via the different methods and giving her a firm date and if not, bring it to the office. I appreciate you not wanting to burden her with all the crap on the metro, but she has been burdening you. Hell, she can ask another friendly coworker for a ride that day or take it home as much as she can fit in a tote bag at a time.
WHy didn't she take the stuff THAT DAY? Why have you had it for 3 months?
Anyhow- I agree. Tell her that you'll be dropping the stuff off then do so. Clearly as she's ignoring your calls, I don't think she really cares about this stuff anyhow. But to protect yourself, give it back "to her" as best you can.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Wait, why didn't she take it with her when you picked it up? You dropped her off and she said, "Cool, I'm just going to leave it in your back seat for a while"? I probably would have helped her unload it there, and if it was in the parking garage at her office, tough luck, she can call a cab.
I agree that I'd try to box it up and tell her, "I'll be at your house on Saturday/Sunday morning to give it to you." If she can't be around and has no one to take it for her, I'd also just leave it outside her door.
Some people (more people than I'd like, really) are just super clueless as to how much they impose on other individuals. You ARE doing her a huge favor and it's impacting your life in a negative way.
40/112
In case she is this crazy, make sure you email her all the various attempts you have made and what not and tell her exactly what you will be doing and when as proof in case she tries to make you liable.
My Chart My Nest Bio
Ditto this, every bit of it. Tell her you'll be at X place at Y time, and the stuff WILL be in a pile in front of a door (or whatever) if she's not there. Then wash your hands of it. Crazy rude people that take advantage of your niceness!
Her shyt should have been in the trash two and a half months ago. Stop calling her asking when you can bring it and tell her when you are bringing it and let her know that whether she shows up or not, her shyt will be left at the spot where y'all are sked to meet.
ETA: And at the risk of sounding Sisu-ish, you gotta ball up, yo.
I agree with the above. You can trust me, I'm an expert. I watch a lot of Judge Judy.
Good luck!
Thanks, guys.
Drafting an email now telling her I'll be there Sunday at 6:00 to drop of her things, so either she or a roommate needs to be around to take the stuff inside.
I don't feel entirely comfortable leaving it on her porch (she doesn't live in the greatest area), but I'm tired of dealing with it, so if she doesn't make arrangements, porch it is.
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
On top of all of this, she obviously doesn't care about her stuff all that much. She's lived without it for 3 months and has made no attempt to get it back. Don't worry about what happens to her crap - she doesn't.
Uh, no. Toss that shyt on the curb and keep it moving. NUT UP!