Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Dear...
Dear Associate Attorney,
Do not take what I say in casual conversation as the gods' honest truth and then relay that information to a client before confirming one way or another. My assumption that our title examiner was as the registry to record your amendment was incorrect, but you never confirmed nor asked me to, therefore I don't know why you made yourself look like an idiot before informing our uptight client regarding the same. And now he's CC'd our boss, so you have some explaining to do...
Dear boss,
Just because we have an overbearing client doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to enjoy our Massachusetts state holiday on Monday! I already have the day off, I have a lot of stuff to do before going away, and no, I don't want to come in. >P
Re: Dear...
Seriously? No one has anything else to add? Ya'll suck today... that's OK, though, I can keep going.
updated 10.03.12
Dear boss,
If you tell me that "we" need to come in at 8am to finish up working on the audit (that we have to present to the CEO at noon), then you better be here. If I have to get up early and be here at 8am, you need to also. Not to mention that if you aren't here, I have no idea what you did last night and therefore don't know what I still need to to. So my being here an hour early? Pointless, thanks.
Dear Federal Government,
Thanks for paying for my vacation this summer! Now, I just have to decide where to go.
I hear Boston's nice...
updated 10.03.12
Dear donut,
You are delicious. It was worth the trip up 4 flights of stairs because you are fresh and amazing. Bonus points for having sprinkles.
Stand up for something you believe in.
And now my boss isn't coming in at all until like 30 minutes before our presentation. FML.
If you were going to work from home this morning, WHY THE FUUUCK did I have to be here an hour early?!!?!?!?!!?!???eleventy!!!!
Dear EVERYBODY IN ARKANSAS,
Stop freaking the fuuuck out about Petrino getting fired. Your world is not crumbling around you. Your heart is not broken. You are not in a nightmare that you can't wake up from. Dude broke University policy and thus was fired. It happens. They'll hire a new coach.
Now shut up about it.
Dear Vending Machine,
You are holding my juice hostage and I am not happy. All I want was sone freaking juice! I walked down five flights of stairs an hour ago to feed you money so you may quench my thirst and you informed me you were only accepting oins, no bills. So I huffed back up ticked off and drank a glass of water. Now I decide I still want juice badly enough to sort through my coins to make sure I have enough and ealk back down only to have you spit each coin I drop in your slot back out at me. WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU STUPID MACHINE?!?! You're failin at your sole function and I hate you for it.
Dear H's BFF who is in town/up in the mountains this weekend,
Stop being a diick. You ask to borrow one of our cars so you don't have to rent one. Weird to ask, but fine, whatever. We do have 3 vehicles.
You tell H that you don't want to ski at the resort H has a pass for because you "heard it sucks." Dude, it's April. Skiing sucks everywhere. That's what happens when you come skiing the last weekend of ski season. But if you want H to ski elsewhere, then you pay for his damn lift ticket. We aren't paying $90 for shiity skiing when he had a pass that's already paid for.
AND your flight out is at the assss crack of damn on Sunday, when H already has to pick me up from the airport Sunday night?!
I'm sorry, I thought you were his best friend? Why are you walking all over him?
You're lucky he's too nice not to say anything. and you're lucky I won't be in town this weekend, because I'm not too nice.
Dear RE's office,
Calling me at 7am on CD37 and asking what I decided to do about this cycle does not fill me with confidence that you're paying attention. Decided to do? I decided to have an IUI 10 days ago..in your office. And yes, I'm well aware of when I should know by, but I'm pretty sure I already know.
Dear AF,
Please just show up already. It's clear that that's what's going to happen so dragging it out another 3-4 days is just annoying.
Dear brother,
You're an idiot. You tried to break up with this girl four times because she's crazy and controlling and now you're moving in with her? That sounds like a good call. Oh, and that iPhone she gave you? If you don't have the log-in info for the "Find my iPhone" app then she definitely does. And she's clearly tracking your movements just like you thought she was. It's tough to feel any sympathy for you. Dumbass.
Dear Jon,
I swear to you if our broken washer and dryer that have been sitting up against the fence for 5 months are not gone by the time I get home from work, you will not like how I go about removing them. Love ya!
Dear Ducks at work,
After I feed you, please take your nap on the sidewalk instead of the middle of a parking space. You guys are too adorable to be made into duck soup.
Dear pissy customers,
The "Easter Bunny" filled the plastic eggs not me. I don't know what's in them, but guess what, they are free coupons so shut your face, be happy and leave me alone. Beggars can't be choosers!
Dear co workers- I am going to Atlanta at your request next week. Give me something to do while I am there or I will scream. Seriously, no time for the crap. I dont choose to be away from my family for one freaking bad hardwood floor- find other things for me to look at.
Dear mark - you are going to be alone wiht Charlotte for two days. Please remember that I do it all the time and try to manage. I know you are a spaz sometimes with her and want to play all the time but the kid needs downtime too.
Money- please appear so we dont have to go into debt. I need to fix my backyard pronto.
Landscaping/construction companies- we are begging to give you money- please hurry up get off your a$$ and come give me a quote. Its not like I am asking for something crazy- its just a darn retaining wall.
Dear Gas Prices,
You suck! We are now having to dip into our moving fund to pay for you and we have already made all the possible sacrifices to save money so we can just to stuff it all into my gas tank. We do not want to sacrifice this move!!!!!!!!!!
June Bugs Blog
Mother Nature,
Super cool. Cycle 18, and you caught me without any pads or tampons in the house. I thought it was quite convenient when I used the last of it all right before the move, thus having less stuff to move. Eff you for catching me off guard when I was obviously distracted and not obsessing over my cycle for the first time in well, a year and half. I see what you did there. Funny stuff.
Brain,
You're also cool and scum baggy lately. We need money, which means I need to write more, so I can see why you would shut down with terror every time I say, "Hey, I could write an article about that." You're starting to freak me out.
Savings,
I'm going to need you to magically replenish yourself. The move was not kind to you, and I am obviously incapable of filling you back up the old-fashioned way. So...yea, just do that yourself. Kthx.